tradewinds Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I'm 41 and separated. My wardrobe consists of jeans, sneakers, T-shirts and a few polos. I am looking to hit the dating scene eventually and need to know what to wear and where to shop. The crap I read on line says I need to dress my age with a sport coat and all, but I want your advice! What should a 41 year wear that doesn't make him look like he's trying to be 20 but makes him look fashionable? Where should I shop? Does name brand matter at this age? What about cologne, does age play anything into that? What's your favorite cologne? Thanks
Feelin Frisky Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I use Grey Flannel by Geoffrey Beene. http://www.perfume.com/geoffrey-beene/grey-flannel/men-cologne/10005445 Sports coats are good going into the cooler weather. Get a London Fog rain coat. Some decent pants that are not denim. Collared button down shirts. Real shoes. Name brands aren't important as long as the clothes are good quality and fit like they were made for you. Get into shopping and buy a little something each pay day.
Jynxx Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 If you don't know or can't figure it out for yourself, getting some vague ideas and tips that might or might not be good from an internet forum is a terrible idea. Get a professional stylist and pay her for an hour of her time.
Author tradewinds Posted October 22, 2011 Author Posted October 22, 2011 If you don't know or can't figure it out for yourself, getting some vague ideas and tips that might or might not be good from an internet forum is a terrible idea. Get a professional stylist and pay her for an hour of her time. How do you find a stylist? That seems like the easiest way for me. Thanks
thatone Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 (edited) every town in the US has a men's store. go there. the salesmen will help. no offense to jynxx but women don't need to tell men how to dress, that's why they have men's stores . 'name brands' are a scam. the best clothes a man can wear has no brand name on the tag, because it comes from a tailor. as feelin frisky said, it's the fit that matters. i luck into shirts that fit well every now and then from the department stores but that's about it. everything else needs to be at least altered. and btw tailored clothes aren't necessarily beyond the reach of a middle class budget either. there are traveling indian/asian tailors who take measurements and orders city by city in US hotels, then make the goods in their shops back in the far east, and the currency value difference makes the clothes just a bit more than buying those above mentioned 'name brands' from off the rack. ravistailor.com is one i've ordered from with good results. even if you buy clothes off the rack, don't even wear them until they've been altered to fit. ask at the local dry cleaners who does alterations in your town. if they don't, they'll know who does. Edited October 22, 2011 by thatone
Star Gazer Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 If you have a Nordstrom or Bloomingdales near you, go there to the men's department, and ask a younger salesperson to help you. They're very helpful, and will give you a good start.
oaks Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I'm 41 and separated. My wardrobe consists of jeans, sneakers, T-shirts and a few polos. Since you're in Afghanistan (!) then you'll need something warm as winter is approaching. A pakol should keep your head warm and is in fashion over there. Or, if you're somewhere else, just go to the local bar or wherever you think you might take a woman on a date and see what the other men are wearing. Whatever you choose, you have to feel comfortable wearing it (physically and mentally), so if the idea of a sports coat makes you break out in hives then don't wear one. (I had no idea what a sports coat was, but google helped me out.)
EasyHeart Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 In addition to what others have said: 1) Check out other guys. Pay attention to what other men are wearing and imitate the ones that look good. 2) Stick to the basics. Men's styles are changing as fast as women's nowadays, so that really 'cool' shirt you buy today will be laughable in a couple of years. It's possible to look stylish without looking trendy. Aim for a classic look. You can spice it up with an item or two of whatever is trendy, but the bulk of your wardrobe should be trend-free. (I am anxiously awaiting the end of this trend of cutting all shirts & tops for scrawny guys.) 3) Get a book. I bought a few books with names like "Men's Wardrobe" (with lots of pictures!) 20+ years ago, and most of the advice is still relevant today. Magazine like GQ and Esquire will tell you about the latest fashions. Esquire publishes a "Black Book" each year that's mostly ads, but will have articles on things like how to have a suit fitted, pros and cons of different kinds of shoes, how to pick a haircut that works with the shape of your head, etc.
Jynxx Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 How do you find a stylist? That seems like the easiest way for me. Thanks In Afghanistan? I'd say send a carrier pigeon to the nearest clothes store;) In other countries try the yellow pages or google. every town in the US has a men's store. go there. the salesmen will help. no offense to jynxx but women don't need to tell men how to dress, that's why they have men's stores . None taken. I wouldn't rely on a salesman in a shop as their priority is different from yours; they want to sell you things. Ofcourse a stylist doesn't have to be female, but most are. If you find a male one that's equally good.
thatone Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 (edited) well the thing is any men's store will also have that scrawny little italian guy in the back room who knows how to make things fit right, and more importantly if you eye something that he can't make fit right he'll just tell you no, you can't have it. you would be surprised at the physical flaws a tailor can make disappear when fully clothed even in off the rack clothes. just as women have their tricks so do men . and i also agree with easyheart. men's fashion hasn't changed much in a hundred years, other than the fit of the clothes. don't spend more than the clothes are worth trying to look like something out of a TV ad. it won't work and the clothes will wind up tossed in a couple of years tops. Edited October 22, 2011 by thatone
grkBoy Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 What should a 41 year wear that doesn't make him look like he's trying to be 20 but makes him look fashionable? Easiest outfit are jeans, a dress shirt, nice shoes, and a sport coat. Make sure you have 2 or more nice suits. Buy some casual dress shirts, also some fleeces you can wear for outdoors things. In terms of shoes, try some "bowler" shoes (look at Sketchers). They're casual but dressy. The typical big tennis shoes only work in the gym...not on a date. Buy jeans that flatter your physique. I used to buy baggy jeans, but switched to low-rise boot-cut. They made me look slimmer and more fashionable. Have 1-2 pairs of slacks for other occasions. Where should I shop? I surprise many. I don't bother with the big name expensive stores. I'll go to Kohl's, Sears (they've surprised me over the years), H&M, and I'll poke my head at times into Marshalls and Nordstrom Rack if the clothing isn't too "ghetto fabulous". Old Navy can come up with some nice stuff if you have a "flagship" store in your area. Does name brand matter at this age? IMHO...no. Only fashionistias and label whores will care. Most don't. I can see a room full of men in jeans and shirts and I wouldn't know or care if they're wearing cheap Lee jeans or expensive Diesel jeans. Wear what looks good on you...even if you pay $5 for it. What about cologne, does age play anything into that? What's your favorite cologne? I don't bother anymore with cologne. I used Nivea after-shave on my face when I shave, and I shower with Old Spice body wash. At that point I have enough fragrances on me. If you really want one, look for a female friend or a buddy's girlfriend to help. I usually do that. Find a smell that females will like. I also suggest looking at magazines like GQ and Details. I know they tend to show expensive label stuff, but a look is a look. You find what you think looks good, then find affordable versions of it. A dress shirt is a dress shirt...doesn't matter if it's $200 or $10. I'm 38...just so you know I'm around your age. Ask more questions if you have them.
Lucky_One Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I like the men's looks at Banana Republic and J Crew. They are basically reasonable, and they both have outlets (J Crew even has an online outlet). BR is the upper level of Gap (Old Navy is the lower tier of the 3), and their clothes are made of a higher quality fabric with better detailing and tailoring. Their salespeople tend to a flair for dressing; they will definitely try to sway you towards buying an entire wardrobe there, but that is their job. At the same time, they want you to make their store brand look good, so they won't send you out looking like a metrosexual (unless you want to look like a metro sexual!) You need a couple of pairs of well fitting khakis (different colors), some button down collard shirts, a black or brown sportcoat, a good belt, and good shoes.
Lucky_One Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Oh. Forgot. I like Chanel Allure Homme, or Bleu de Chanel. Both are yum.
grkBoy Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I'd also say to get a nice watch. I bought two in my life and either didn't cost much, but I like them both for different occasions.
KathyM Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 I'm 41 and separated. My wardrobe consists of jeans, sneakers, T-shirts and a few polos. I am looking to hit the dating scene eventually and need to know what to wear and where to shop. The crap I read on line says I need to dress my age with a sport coat and all, but I want your advice! What should a 41 year wear that doesn't make him look like he's trying to be 20 but makes him look fashionable? Where should I shop? Does name brand matter at this age? What about cologne, does age play anything into that? What's your favorite cologne? Thanks It kind of depends on the country you live in. What is good in the U.S. may not be right for certain other countries. Do a little research online or in magazines that show what celebrities or successful people are wearing in your country, and then go shopping at stores you can afford and find something similar. That would be my suggestion. I happen to like the Axe brand of body products for men. I think they have a wonderful scent. I'm not sure if that's available where you are.
betterdeal Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 A good haircut, a decent shave, a good cologne, good shoes, and clothes that fit is all you need. Jeans and t-shirt will do fine, if they fit. Maybe add a couple of shirts to your collection. Blue if you have blue eyes. It's what's inside the clothes that makes the difference.
FitChick Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Wear whatever George Clooney wears if you are shaped like him. Cologne -- always use less than you think you need. I can't stand men (or women) who douse themselves. Hermes Eau de Cartier and Declaration are subtle and light. My ex used to wear Estee Lauder Pleasures for Men and I liked that as well. Not sure if they still make it or not. Better yet, go to a dept store and ask for samples. Tell them you aren't sure which one your girlfriend will like so have to wear them for her.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I echo the advice given. Go buy some fashion magazines...and if you don't know of any, walk into a men's clothing store and ask for advice. They are there to help you, that's what they get paid for! Good luck!
grkBoy Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I just found this great blog while looking for some images. I'm bookmarking it for myself: http://4men-en.blogspot.com/ Ok, since we can't post images, look at these links I found around Google when I searched "european men fashion". A lot of these are looks I like would rock for the OP and even myself. http://indiedesign.typepad.com/modern_glam/WindowsLiveWriter/djankovic.jpg http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ix9iZ5yJkvo/STG0gGLwSZI/AAAAAAAAFMA/ojrAWlQg7bU/s400/beckhamskatieholmesplayll8.jpg http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_jAWHpAcSU3s/SxIIy01a0mI/AAAAAAAABZ8/IIgf5z3aJOE/s1600/kanye_west1_300_400-thumb-300x400.jpg http://www.entrepreneur.com/i/images/ch/work_life/men_fashion_1.jpg http://www.advocate.com/uploadedImages/ADVOCATE/EDITORIAL/PRINT_ISSUE_STORIES/1030/BARTLETT02XLRG.jpg http://s50.radikal.ru/i127/1107/16/83d681646c64.jpg
FrustratedStandards Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 Cologne, for your age, I would recommend Vera Wang for men. As for clothing, you don't need to dress young to dress good. On the contrary, most older men dress much sexier. I would say you could wear anythign a 20 year old can wear minus the crazy colors, stupid logos and anything thats ripped (like ripped jeans are in but on an older man I wouldn't recomment it). Keep in shape, go to the gym, and stick to neutral colors, white, black, dark blues, dark reds. Anything dark really, too bright is off putting even on young men. Most important, NICE SHOES!! You can dress okay but if you have nice leather italian shoes WOAH MAMA come here right now! So sexy, and it gives you class. Jeans with a black t shirt and THOSE SHOES is already very sexy.
thatone Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I just found this great blog while looking for some images. I'm bookmarking it for myself: http://4men-en.blogspot.com/ Ok, since we can't post images, look at these links I found around Google when I searched "european men fashion". A lot of these are looks I like would rock for the OP and even myself. http://indiedesign.typepad.com/modern_glam/WindowsLiveWriter/djankovic.jpg http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ix9iZ5yJkvo/STG0gGLwSZI/AAAAAAAAFMA/ojrAWlQg7bU/s400/beckhamskatieholmesplayll8.jpg http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_jAWHpAcSU3s/SxIIy01a0mI/AAAAAAAABZ8/IIgf5z3aJOE/s1600/kanye_west1_300_400-thumb-300x400.jpg http://www.entrepreneur.com/i/images/ch/work_life/men_fashion_1.jpg http://www.advocate.com/uploadedImages/ADVOCATE/EDITORIAL/PRINT_ISSUE_STORIES/1030/BARTLETT02XLRG.jpg http://s50.radikal.ru/i127/1107/16/83d681646c64.jpg don't really do the sweaters but the lesson to be learned from the above is any man regardless of body type can be made to look better by well fitting shirts and jackets.
grkBoy Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) It's amazing how much any average guy, even ones who aren't in shape, can look better with the right clothes. It's why I keep nudging on guys to get rid of the loose baggy jeans and sneakers and check out more casual shoes and fitted jeans. I hear stories of "they're uncomfortable", but yet look in the mirror and you look a lot better. I'm not saying to "suffer", but if you look at how much uncomfortable clothing women wear in the name of beauty, it's no wonder why so many guys look bland when they go out. The big problem I believe is the onslaught of wearing athletic wear in non-athletic situations. They're loose, comfy, etc...but they've given a false sense of how clothing should fit. Athletic wear is loose because you need to move...but normal clothing was more meant to form and flatter your body. I see loads of guys who won't break form from their usual t-shirts, polo shirts, baggy jeans, and sneakers...but they wonder why women aren't into them compared to "Mr. GQ" across the room. They can only use the "girls are gold diggers" excuse for so long. Edited October 23, 2011 by grkBoy
thatone Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 yeah and the 'comfortable' thing is BS. there's no way jeans are more comfortable than lined slacks are. don't get me wrong, i have jeans and tennis shoes. i wear em to the grocery store, i wear em in my shop. but going out on a friday night and seeing a room full of guys on dates with a hoodie and jeans on is depressing.
Jynxx Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 I'd also say to get a nice watch. I bought two in my life and either didn't cost much, but I like them both for different occasions. Watches... 95% of the people can't tell the difference between a 200$ and a 20k$ watch. If you want to buy a nice one, do it for yourself, not because you assume you'll be more successfull with it. You won't.
grkBoy Posted October 23, 2011 Posted October 23, 2011 yeah and the 'comfortable' thing is BS. there's no way jeans are more comfortable than lined slacks are. don't get me wrong, i have jeans and tennis shoes. i wear em to the grocery store, i wear em in my shop. but going out on a friday night and seeing a room full of guys on dates with a hoodie and jeans on is depressing. I agree...even women (friends) I've been out with I notice they'll be checking out the guy dressed nicer as opposed to all the ones dressed plain. A room full of guys in a button up shirt and jeans will seem like nothing to the female if there's a few guys there in suits or more casual variations of that. Watches... 95% of the people can't tell the difference between a 200$ and a 20k$ watch. If you want to buy a nice one, do it for yourself, not because you assume you'll be more successfull with it. You won't. I agree. My two watches are from Guess, and I only paid about $60 each. Buy a Rolex if one can afford it...but make sure it's one people recognize as one if you're going for the pricey thing. My two watches: For dressier occasions and more "less casual" moments For more casual moments Honestly, each watch was only $60 each. Not much and yet they are solid and look amazing with many outfits.
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