annaelizabeth Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 First off, I want to thank everybody who reads my post. I appreciate the time and I would love to hear any ounce of input I can get. This may get lengthy. I met my ex boyfriend at the beginning of 2007. I met him thru one of my friends who then was dating one of his friends – we met online via myspace and talked for 9 months on the phone, via IM, email etc. We found any which way to talk, as he was stationed overseas for the military for a deployment. After the deployment, he immediately came out to meet me and we hit it off from the get go. After the deployment, he was stationed out in CA, while I am on the east coast. We saw one another whenever we could (which unfortunately wasn’t too much, due to funding –I was a student-and he couldn’t just up and leave without orders/paperwork). He got out of the service a year later and we moved in together immediately. Like all relationships we had our up and downs. We fought, big at times – but we also loved one which is the important part. We lived together for 2 years only – we ended up breaking up . He ended the relationship, saying he was confused and needed time to think. He moved out 2 days later. I was broken, he knew this too. I made all the mistakes that I know I should not have, I would call crying, I would beg for another chance, I would try to guilt him to coming back (saying things like well “IIIII would do this for you, why can’t you do this for me?” etc.) – I regret doing that. I also at times would act like I didn’t care. He probably thought I was borderline bipolar. I ended up just giving him space and he came back a few months later, but for 2 weeks. He then told me he was confused again etc. I begged for him not to give up on us then gave him space but occasionally would text him, he wouldn’t answer or return calls. He ended up moving away a month later, which broke my heart badly – I even now can still remember the pain I felt the day he left. I got to say goodbye to him but we ended up having a BIG fight which resulted in him telling me NEVER to contact him again. I was really mad at him and am stubborn, so I figured that I would and was determined to not do so. A year later, he contact his friend who had dated my friend – he got her number, got ahold of her and told her he had tried texting me but wasn’t able to get ahold of me (I changed my #). I told her if he needed to get ahold of me, he can email me or get my new #. He ended up getting my new phone number and texted an apology to me, told me I wasn’t the only one who had a hard time with our breakup etc. I replied, not trying to initiate much, just telling him it’s okay, im not angry, I hope he’s happy etc. Well we have been texting several times a week for the last few weeks now. We talk a lot about our past, how happy we were, how amazing our time together was, that we don’t know what went wrong, he misses us.... etc. He’s begun calling me hun/sweetie/sweets/boo etc (but he is also a southern boy, I grew up in CO – is he just being kind or are these terms of endearment?). Seeing each other again has been discussed, but I did tell him that I don’t know if that’s a good idea….I don’t want to get my heart tangled up in something that might hurt me in the end again. My friends are at a loss for what to tell me, I don’t want to ask my guy friends cause they give HORRIBLE advice (like “o just have sex with him, then you’ll know). I still love him with everything in me. A part of me wonders if he IS my soulmate, and I often think that if it is meant to be, it will be. So this is an outlet for me, I would really like to get an honest opinion on what you think he Is intending for (if you can get a feel of it from what I have written), and what it is I should do. I also love the saying "If you love somebody, let them go. If they come back to you, it was meant to be...."
InJest Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 You said neither of you knows what went wrong, so the same will probably happen again. I think it will end in disaster, but I'm sure your curiosity will get the better of you and you'll need to meet him. Then you'll end up sleeping with him, because it will feel so right. Then who knows, it could really go either way, but I don't think it looks good.
confused kitty Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 IMO i think its clear both of you still have feelings for eachother, continue to text email etc and see where it goes from there, did he use to call you by these "pet names" when yous two were together?? I do however suggest you both talk calmly (without pointing any fingers) as to what exactly did go wrong between you guys and decide honestly if these are things that really could be worked on before making any plans to meet up in person again.
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