Kae7s04 Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Over a month ago, my boyfriend broke up with me, telling me he didn't have the energy to work at the relationship anymore. Throughout the whole relationship he always told me how perfect and amazing I was, and now he tells me that he didn't tell me what bothered him about me because he didn't want to cause "drama." So him breaking up with me was quite a surprise and extremely painful. What's worse is that of the many times i considered breaking up with him because he chose alcohol or video games over me, i always gave him another chance. He gave me no chances. I know that I am better off with out him, but it doesn't feel like that. I was living in CA at the time, and last may most of my friends graduated from their school and moved away, so all I had was him. I felt so alone in CA, so I dropped my class that i was taking and moved to PA to live with my parents. I have no friends here either. Most of my friends who live elsewhere are too busy to return my calls, and I feel so alone. I am applying to grad school, so the application process is a huge stress too. Things that I have to look forward to just don't excite me. I find myself just not finding life worth it. I feel like a waste of space. I know people say things will get better, but I can't see it. I feel like I just can't be happy no matter what I do...
mike588 Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Over a month ago, my boyfriend broke up with me, telling me he didn't have the energy to work at the relationship anymore. Throughout the whole relationship he always told me how perfect and amazing I was, and now he tells me that he didn't tell me what bothered him about me because he didn't want to cause "drama." So him breaking up with me was quite a surprise and extremely painful. What's worse is that of the many times i considered breaking up with him because he chose alcohol or video games over me, i always gave him another chance. He gave me no chances. I know that I am better off with out him, but it doesn't feel like that. I was living in CA at the time, and last may most of my friends graduated from their school and moved away, so all I had was him. I felt so alone in CA, so I dropped my class that i was taking and moved to PA to live with my parents. I have no friends here either. Most of my friends who live elsewhere are too busy to return my calls, and I feel so alone. I am applying to grad school, so the application process is a huge stress too. Things that I have to look forward to just don't excite me. I find myself just not finding life worth it. I feel like a waste of space. I know people say things will get better, but I can't see it. I feel like I just can't be happy no matter what I do... Your only a month into the breakup, you have to give it more time.Yea I know you have heard that but that's what will really help you!! I'm just 3 months into being dumped and I know how that 1st month is,, it's HORRIBLE !! Please just try to stay busy to keep your mind off it. Easier said that done I know. You will just have to go thru it, we all do/did but I promise you IT WILL GET BETTER!! and you will be happy again in time. It's perfectly NORMAL to have the feelings your having. Stay on this site and read others threads here, it helps do much. Keep posting if you feel you need to, were here for you and YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
headsashed Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 i agree with mike,give it more time,im nearly 6 weeks into my break up and its still killing me,feels like it was only yesterday i lost the love of my life,but i know time will heal me,when my ex broke up with me she said something that was actually true,she said something like "remember when you was dumped before and it hurt? well you got over that so you will get over this,it just takes time" i actually cant remember how i got over my 1st ever real break up,it must have hurt loads because she left me for my best friend at the time. But i did get over her,just hoping i soon get over this 1,i suppose its time that cures everything,we just got to hang in there.
lovehurts.x Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I'm in a similar situation to you. I've just broken up with my boyfriend (i didn't want to, but had to because of the way he treated me). Most of my friends graduated last year, so I only have a few friends left in college, and that included him. So now that I've lost him, I feel so lonely and down. I just want this year to end already so I can get the hell out of here and move on. Seeing him around campus absolutely kills me. I just feel useless, lonely and worth nothing.
headsashed Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 i feel the same,i dont have many friends now,and the ones i do i barely see,so im always on my own,i live 2 minutes walk from my ex so its hard not to bump into her,i do try go out at times i know she is working etc so i cant bump into her.We all have loveshack though so we aint lonely
Author Kae7s04 Posted October 21, 2011 Author Posted October 21, 2011 thank you so much everyone for your kind words. I hate the feeling of missing him so much even though I know he wasn't good for me. But everything reminds me of him! Even though I'm on the other side of the country now, going out in public is so painful, just cause I see something that triggers a memory of something we did or were going to do! it's so pathetic! I'm trying not to be hard on myself, but it's hard. How do you feel about being facebook friends with your ex? I defriended him immediately after he broke up with me, then friended him again after our final goodbye before i moved (which went painfully well). I don't get his updates or anything, but he still "likes" my statuses every once and a while...
infinity8245 Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I'm sorry to hear about your loss. And believe me, I can really relate to you. My ex and I dated for over four years and we broke up about a month and a half ago. We met early on during college. When I graduated (I'm older than her), she transferred to another school in state because she was changing majors. Oddly enough, I soon found a job up in the same area that she was going to school, and it happened to be my dream job, so I took it. After working at the company for about a year, money was tight and they laid a whole bunch of people off, including me. I took the time to apply for grad school (at the same school my ex attends) and now I'm about halfway through my first semester. Though I've been in the area for about a year and a half, I don't really know anyone up here. My ex and I spent all our time together, or spent our time cultivating friendships in the town where we first met at our old college. Upon the breakup, I felt completely isolated and alone. A lot of my friends live about an hour away from where I do, so it's not terribly easy to see them. I really want to try and meet some new people and make new friends in the town I'm living in, but I'm finding that difficult right now. I know what you mean about life losing its beauty and joy and with one action. I know what it's like to have your whole world come crashing down. I know what's it's like to feel incredibly depressed and alone. Good luck with your situation. I hope that you can find a way to heal. I'm really thankful that there is this community of anonymous strangers online that are all so supportive of each other. It's good to know that we're not alone in our pain.
lovehurts.x Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I've deactivated my facebook for a while, I did that pretty much a day after we broke up because I found myself starting to obsess over his profile. And he started adding lots of girls or vice versa, and it just upset me more. So i thought I'd get rid of it for a while, wait for the dust to settle. I also didn't want the drama of other people being nosy and asking me 100 questions! I think when I do go back on Fb I will delete him as a friend. I just can't see myself ever being friends with someone I love so much but can't be with. This forum is great. I already feel so much better, it's like a whole new support network, and everyone is in the same boat as eachother. It's horrible to come together, but good at the same time It's good to vent
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