aurora19 Posted May 18, 2004 Posted May 18, 2004 I have been feeling better than I have in years, a great sense of clarity has been bestowed on me in the last few days with only minor setbacks along the way. To all of you who have listened to my bull**** and have given me their wonderful advice, thank you from the bottom of my heart, this web site is a blessing! I would not have been so strong or smart have it not been for all of you! So I guess I have finally realized how wonderful it is to be single and away from such a destructive, hot and cold relationship. If I can give any helpful advice it would be, Always treat your mate with respect and ALWAYS make sure they do the same for you. And if you can't face and fix your own problems by all means do not expect someone else to do it for you, it's destructive and hurtful to both of you! For those of you who find yourself dumped, stop trying to hope and stop questioning what went wrong! Live with the fact that yes, indeed there was SOMETHING wrong, but it is almost never YOU! For any of you that question what is wrong with you, why don't they want me...right there realize you have to work on your self-esteem! Being dumped should be looked at as an opportunity, not a failure! You should by all means allow yourself to grieve and get pissed off, but you should also be able to recognize that you are a hell of a human being, flaws and all, if they can't appreciate that than let them look elsewhere, you WILL find somebody who completes you better! (Be patient with that as well) "When it is time for a person to go away, let him/her go! Do not turn the person's leaving into an experience of rejection, loss or abandonment. Realize that his/her leaving has nothing to do with you. It is simply time for him/her to go. Your experience with them is a lesson to be learned, when they leave the lesson remains. Embrace that!" Break-ups are hard, no doubt I still will harbor bad feelings and have my setbacks! I mean damn I still miss him like crazy, I still hold a faraway hope, I still cling to the good, But I do it quietly. I realize that when a relationship dies, especially with ill feelings, something was not right with it, no matter how much you think the good outweighed the bad! You may not have seen the problem, but your partner did! You might think they are just confused, could be, but even if you two work it out and get back together, there is a problem there and either time or that confused person needs to figure that out, NOT YOU! So don't push it, you'll just mess things up more! Another word of advice, take some space for yourself, do not jump into someone else's arms, they do not deserve your baggage! Form a relationship with yourself, it's the most important one you'll have! I'm doing so and I know someday the right man will come along and I will know how to make it, rather than break it!! I am pretty sure that when we look at things that have gone sour in a relationship more than likely one of you had a bad self-reflection!!! Use this time to gain a beautiful self-reflection, all those little grains of advice like going to the gym(REALLY helpful, I swear!), reading, writing, doing things you always wanted to, being with friends and family, they may seem cliche or cheesy, but they REALLY do help! There should be a time for grieving and pain, but it should be short lived!! This is your time, ENJOY IT! Hang in there guys!!! Keep coming back here and venting, it helps! Even though I know I'll be OK, I am sure I will be back just to keep myself in check!
LILUIL Posted May 19, 2004 Posted May 19, 2004 High Five aurora!!!!! Phe-eeww-wittt!!!!! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t39197/ i share your sentiments. enough said.
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