Ascension Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 You know how some guys approach women, PUA, they have all these lines and acts and approach a woman at a bar, school, work, night club. Anyhow, let's say the roles were reversed, and a woman approaches you, but you're not interested, how do you reject them? When I get approached by women at bars, night clubs, the gym and at work, it always catches me by surprise and I just don't know what to do from there. Do I hear them out? Go with it? I don't like hurting people's feelings either. To me, the rejection would be so easy if they were straight forward 'bout it. What I mean by that is if they were like "can I get your phone number" I could give them a fake one, tell them I got a gf, tell them I'm not interested etc., but if they wanna drag out a conversation and use some gimmick, how would you shut them down? Women, how do you handle rejection?
Fondue Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I too, sometimes caught off guard when women approach me. If I am not interested, I just don't follow through with their conversation. I will be polite, maybe smile, but I wouldn't engage in the convo. Similar to what happens when you approach a woman who isn't very interested in you. She'd "talk," but not really talk. For example, most recently I had this happen. A girl from about 2arm lengths away says something along the lines of: Her: "Your eyes and your overall look remind me of John Mayer." Me: "I don't know who that is." Her: "The singer! You know, he sings: _______________" Me: "?????, sorry." Her: "Awww come on, you gotta know him! You look just like him! My friends think so, too!" Me: "I'm not sure whether or not I should feel insulted." Her: "No, no! It's a good thing!" Me: "Oh." At this point, the conversation dwindled to nothing and we went about our business. I smile, be polite, but simply don't involve myself. That's how I typically run things. I can't imagine ever saying something like: "OMG, WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME!?" Like I keep hearing about certain men encountering. That's just awful. If you're not interested, just don't display any interest. People are weird. P.S. I later googled this Mayer guy, I look nothing like him. Wtf. I been compared to Keanu Reeves before, some other Italian songwriter, and a few other celebrities. It's the strangest thing. I always look like somebody. I don't really know how to appropriate respond to these things. When a woman tells me that I look like someone, the first thing that comes to my head is: "Is she insulting me?" Women, why do you compare us men to other people?
grkBoy Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I've had some women come on to me in my life. Some I rejected. Same reasons women reject men. a) I didn't find her attractive/appealing. b) I wasn't in a mental state where I wanted to meet someone. c) I could see many red flags on this woman. I never fault men or women for rejecting one another. I just fault those who either carry unrealistic qualifications for a future mate, or those who seriously have social problems or red flags, but think people should "overlook them".
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 When I was younger, rejection hurt much more. With a little maturity and knowledge of myself, being rejected isn't as big a deal. I just perfer a a man be upfront instead of playing games. Such as how Fondue said he rejects women. I find that kind of mean. If a woman approaches you that you aren't interested in, give her a few moments of your time to chat sincerely and then just excuse yourself, tell her it's been nice chatting and wish her luck, and move to a different section of the room. You don't need to tell them that it's because they have horse teeth or are over weight. You can treat women you aren't attracted to with respect and still reject them.
rightfield Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Oh c'mon, is it really that complicated? Just gaze into her eyes and start digging in your nose. Fart. Start mumbling nonsense about all the hidden cameras and microphones around, and the black helicopters that have been trailing you.
carhill Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I like the picking the nose and black helicopter suggestions but, honestly, it's been quite easy for myself. I simply look at her left hand and suggest she might want to talk with her husband about this. If a single woman propositions me, I guess this habit will make for either a funny or awkward moment
Author Ascension Posted October 21, 2011 Author Posted October 21, 2011 I too, sometimes caught off guard when women approach me. If I am not interested, I just don't follow through with their conversation. I will be polite, maybe smile, but I wouldn't engage in the convo. Similar to what happens when you approach a woman who isn't very interested in you. She'd "talk," but not really talk. For example, most recently I had this happen. A girl from about 2arm lengths away says something along the lines of: Her: "Your eyes and your overall look remind me of John Mayer." Me: "I don't know who that is." Her: "The singer! You know, he sings: _______________" Me: "?????, sorry." Her: "Awww come on, you gotta know him! You look just like him! My friends think so, too!" Me: "I'm not sure whether or not I should feel insulted." Her: "No, no! It's a good thing!" Me: "Oh." At this point, the conversation dwindled to nothing and we went about our business. I smile, be polite, but simply don't involve myself. That's how I typically run things. I can't imagine ever saying something like: "OMG, WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME!?" Like I keep hearing about certain men encountering. That's just awful. If you're not interested, just don't display any interest. People are weird. P.S. I later googled this Mayer guy, I look nothing like him. Wtf. I been compared to Keanu Reeves before, some other Italian songwriter, and a few other celebrities. It's the strangest thing. I always look like somebody. I don't really know how to appropriate respond to these things. When a woman tells me that I look like someone, the first thing that comes to my head is: "Is she insulting me?" Women, why do you compare us men to other people? LOL yeah, what's up with that? I get Taylor Lautner. Just cause I have the same hairdo (which I've had for MANY YEARS) and the same skin tone, does not mean I look like him.
Disillusioned Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Oh c'mon, is it really that complicated? Just gaze into her eyes and start digging in your nose. Fart. Start mumbling nonsense about all the hidden cameras and microphones around, and the black helicopters that have been trailing you. It's easy!!! Start talking about creepy stuff. Or making things. Women are turned off by guys who make things.
O'Malley Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 To me, the rejection would be so easy if they were straight forward 'bout it. What I mean by that is if they were like "can I get your phone number" I could give them a fake one, tell them I got a gf, tell them I'm not interested etc., but if they wanna drag out a conversation and use some gimmick, how would you shut them down? If they directly ask you out or ask for your phone number, then be generally honest. "I'm sorry, I'm not interested." I'd only fall back on the 'already involved' excuse if this is some stranger you're not going to be regularly encountering. My boyfriend, due to one of his occupations, has had to learn the fine art of turning admirers down without coming across as rude. People handle rejection pretty well if it's done politely. Other than that, I'd just be laid back about it and make your exit as soon as possible, similar to the approach that Disenchantedly Yours suggested.
Trovador Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Does it matter how you handle this? Any way you do it they are going to think you are gay...
thatone Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Does it matter how you handle this? Any way you do it they are going to think you are gay... speaking of, i was just going to post "tell her you're gay".
USMCHokie Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Or do what I do...date them for a little while simply because someone has actually shown interest in me, and then leave after I realize I'm not that into them while they have fallen in love with me... I'm not actually a terrible person...
Trovador Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I did that when I was in HS... But if life is cyclic as they say... mmmmm...
musemaj11 Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 When a girl chatted me up, I just went along with it and be respectful. But I made it known with my body language that I wasnt interested in anything more with her. I have no problem with women initiating, but unfortunately I havent had the luck to have a girl who was even remotely attractive taking interest in me.
Star Gazer Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Or do what I do...date them for a little while simply because someone has actually shown interest in me, and then leave after I realize I'm not that into them while they have fallen in love with me... I'm not actually a terrible person... Who fell in love with you? This is news.
futuregopher Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 How do you manage to get women to approach you? This rarely happens to me and could use some pointers lol.
USMCHokie Posted October 24, 2011 Posted October 24, 2011 Who fell in love with you? This is news. Girl from last spring...girl from two summers ago...sounds impossible, huh...
Lobouspo Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Speaking of rejecting women. How did your date go USMCHokie? Did u reject her? Lol
USMCHokie Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 Speaking of rejecting women. How did your date go USMCHokie? Did u reject her? Lol It never happened. She asked to reschedule the day of...
runner Posted October 25, 2011 Posted October 25, 2011 You know how some guys approach women, PUA, they have all these lines and acts and approach a woman at a bar, school, work, night club. Anyhow, let's say the roles were reversed, and a woman approaches you, but you're not interested, how do you reject them? i've never had a woman approach me in that wierd PUA sort of way, and i doubt it will ever happen. in any case, i've noticed most women are typically very subtle about these things, so i respond in kind, and in a way that won't leave either of us feeling awkard about it. When I get approached by women at bars, night clubs, the gym and at work, it always catches me by surprise and I just don't know what to do from there. Do I hear them out? Go with it? I don't like hurting people's feelings either. sure- no need to be a dick about not wanting to go on a date with her. but a little bit of friendly banter won't hurt anyone. relax. take it for what it is. To me, the rejection would be so easy if they were straight forward 'bout it. What I mean by that is if they were like "can I get your phone number" I could give them a fake one, tell them I got a gf, tell them I'm not interested etc., but if they wanna drag out a conversation and use some gimmick, how would you shut them down? again- i've never had a women use typical guy style 'gimmick' on me. just their usual female charms. i have to dissagree with you here tho; it would be more awkward for me if i had to flat out reject a girl like that as opposed to giving her hints. thankfully most girls are smart enough to get it and don't push it with me.
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