So, I have a new gf from a strange start.. can it work?

[LoveBear22]

Yeah the guy is hooked on her super tight pussy. Little does he know most pussies are tight. Doesn't mean the girl hasn't had a lot of dick. That was his dumbest argument by far.

 

Ok Shannon, since you have been so cool about answering and such, I believe I owe a bit of honesty.

 

Everything I have said in this thread is true, except for one thing really, I am the ex. I posted this because I wanted some perspective on whether their relationship could even work, because the girl has flaunted it in my face since its beginning while saying im an ******* for telling her she is a bad person and that I pushed her away with my reactions to her cheating.

 

Sounds crazy, but I can assure you Im not. I went a bit nuts because of how ridiculous things went and how much i was manipulated, and because i believe i was dealing with somebody with a high level of narcissism if not the actual disorder--at one point i was laughed at when explaining why i was so upset (tears)... amongst other things. It has been a wild ride, and I honestly just wanted some perspective because frankly this girl has made me feel like what I think is crazy and has filled me with self doubt, like my reaction made me an abuser or something (i never called her names, just got extremely upset) and has destroyed my self esteem.

 

Theres your truth. Thank you for your comments, at least I know now that this girl is actually awful and I don't need to feel like it was my fault--she said the end was half my fault because I couldn't forgive her and she saw my "dark side". Whatever the **** that means. It has only been a month since I finally shut her out completely.

 

EDIT: Sorry for trying to trick you, but I felt that if I said i was the ex guy at first then I would just get the response everyone gives me in pity--"OH DUDE, NO WAY LOL THAT WILL CRASH N BURN!"--Id rather hear what people would say to the other dude, so I tried to play the part best i could while keeping the facts in check.

 

oh, and my avatar is a joke.

Edited October 25, 2011 by LoveBear22

[LoveBear22]

if the mods could delete this thread, that would be appreciated.

Edited October 25, 2011 by LoveBear22

[ShannonMI]

Ok Shannon, since you have been so cool about answering and such, I believe I owe a bit of honesty.

 

Everything I have said in this thread is true, except for one thing really, I am the ex. I posted this because I wanted some perspective on whether their relationship could even work, because the girl has flaunted it in my face since its beginning while saying im an ******* for telling her she is a bad person and that I pushed her away with my reactions to her cheating.

 

Sounds crazy, but I can assure you Im not. I went a bit nuts because of how ridiculous things went and how much i was manipulated, and because i believe i was dealing with somebody with a high level of narcissism if not the actual disorder--at one point i was laughed at when explaining why i was so upset (tears)... amongst other things. It has been a wild ride, and I honestly just wanted some perspective because frankly this girl has made me feel like what I think is crazy and has filled me with self doubt, like my reaction made me an abuser or something (i never called her names, just got extremely upset) and has destroyed my self esteem.

 

Theres your truth. Thank you for your comments, at least I know now that this girl is actually awful and I don't need to feel like it was my fault--she said the end was half my fault because I couldn't forgive her and she saw my "dark side". Whatever the **** that means. It has only been a month since I finally shut her out completely.

 

EDIT: Sorry for trying to trick you, but I felt that if I said i was the ex guy at first then I would just get the response everyone gives me in pity--"OH DUDE, NO WAY LOL THAT WILL CRASH N BURN!"--Id rather hear what people would say to the other dude, so I tried to play the part best i could while keeping the facts in check.

 

oh, and my avatar is a joke.

Ok so let me get this straight....you are the scorned ex and she is with a new guy?

 

Well no need to apologize for the trickery. I guess it's a good way to get honest answers. I'm just glad you aren't the guy she cheated on her man with. Now I have a little more sympathy for you. I know what it's like to be cheated on when you were nothing but a good partner. I was thinking you were a lost cause because you were so hung up on how good the sex was and couldn't see the BIG picture. The chick is a ho and you are better off without her.

 

And yes this girl will cheat on her new man. No doubt about it. That's the type of girl she is. Consider yourself lucky that she is out of your life. Good riddance bitch!!;)

[LoveBear22]

Ok so let me get this straight....you are the scorned ex and she is with a new guy?

 

Well no need to apologize for the trickery. I guess it's a good way to get honest answers. I'm just glad you aren't the guy she cheated on her man with. Now I have a little more sympathy for you. I know what it's like to be cheated on when you were nothing but a good partner. I was thinking you were a lost cause because you were so hung up on how good the sex was and couldn't see the BIG picture. The chick is a ho and you are better off without her.

 

And yes this girl will cheat on her new man. No doubt about it. That's the type of girl she is. Consider yourself lucky that she is out of your life. Good riddance bitch!!;)

 

 

Haha indeed I am the scorned ex, although originally I was being begged to forgive, but as I failed to do so fast enough and hesitated/got too upset I was quickly replaced because telling her that what she did is disgraceful repeatedly apparently makes me "abusive". (Seriously, I didnt say much more than that. SHe would give me the silent treatment when I tried to talk about it).

 

I am not the type of person to help a girl cheat on her man, I wouldn't put that kind of hurt on another dude whether i knew them or not. I did that in High School once, and didnt ever do it again.

 

I think I am lucky now, but I am a normal person so it takes a while to get over somebody you loved even if they do really horrible things to you. She pretty much changed her personality when things went bad, it was shocking and led me to actually think shes a narcissist (there were other warnings I always ignored). And yes, the sex was sweet which is one reason why i can imagine this dude is putting in the work for it--sadly i cant think of that many other reasons why. She lacks a good sense of humor of her own, laughs at anything you say. she seems very innocent and naive and that is attractive in another way and rather sweet (its what i was attracted to), but i was trying to play the part, obviously. I just wanted to see what the response would be from the other side... i was surprised to see it is almost the same.

 

She is no good.

[ShannonMI]

Haha indeed I am the scorned ex, although originally I was being begged to forgive, but as I failed to do so fast enough and hesitated/got too upset I was quickly replaced because telling her that what she did is disgraceful repeatedly apparently makes me "abusive". (Seriously, I didnt say much more than that. SHe would give me the silent treatment when I tried to talk about it).

 

I am not the type of person to help a girl cheat on her man, I wouldn't put that kind of hurt on another dude whether i knew them or not. I did that in High School once, and didnt ever do it again.

 

I think I am lucky now, but I am a normal person so it takes a while to get over somebody you loved even if they do really horrible things to you. She pretty much changed her personality when things went bad, it was shocking and led me to actually think shes a narcissist (there were other warnings I always ignored). And yes, the sex was sweet which is one reason why i can imagine this dude is putting in the work for it--sadly i cant think of that many other reasons why. She lacks a good sense of humor of her own, laughs at anything you say. she seems very innocent and naive and that is attractive in another way and rather sweet (its what i was attracted to), but i was trying to play the part, obviously. I just wanted to see what the response would be from the other side... i was surprised to see it is almost the same.

 

She is no good.

It is interesting that you posed the question the way you did. Asking what would become of the relationship as if you were the guy she left her ex for. Yes, the answers were the same because the girl is no good and it's clear no matter which way you look at it. There is no way to justify what she did and who she is as a person.

 

I know it takes awhile to get over someone you loved with all of your heart. I'm in the same boat. I still miss my ex from time to time. It's gotten a lot better for me, but in the beginning of the breakup it was brutal to say the least. Time heals all wounds. As cheesy and cliche as that sounds, it's the truth. So keep your head up and just remember you are so much better off without this chick.

[LoveBear22]

It is interesting that you posed the question the way you did. Asking what would become of the relationship as if you were the guy she left her ex for. Yes, the answers were the same because the girl is no good and it's clear no matter which way you look at it. There is no way to justify what she did and who she is as a person.

 

I know it takes awhile to get over someone you loved with all of your heart. I'm in the same boat. I still miss my ex from time to time. It's gotten a lot better for me, but in the beginning of the breakup it was brutal to say the least. Time heals all wounds. As cheesy and cliche as that sounds, it's the truth. So keep your head up and just remember you are so much better off without this chick.

 

I am just surprised its taking so long to fully heal for me, while it took virtually no time for her (even after saying i was the love of her life, she wanted to date for years and years, etc etc). She was pretty much the first girl I loved, so I always treated her the very very best I could in every way. It sucks when you work that hard, and get **** on anyway. In the end though, I know that it is the best that it ended sooner rather than later, I just wish it didnt end in such a brutal manner.

 

She still wants me to be her friend and says i am not forgiving/ being nice when I explain why that is not possible. I ended it in the nicest way I possibly could, I felt like that was better than just calling her names and showing the pain. If i did that, it meant she wins.

 

EDIT: A lot of the more ridiculous things i said earlier, like "Her vagina is tight" i said with a chuckle, just because I was having trouble even reasoning from the other guy's perspective haha. It was amusing

Edited October 25, 2011 by LoveBear22

[ShannonMI]

I am just surprised its taking so long to fully heal for me, while it took virtually no time for her (even after saying i was the love of her life, she wanted to date for years and years, etc etc). She was pretty much the first girl I loved, so I always treated her the very very best I could in every way. It sucks when you work that hard, and get **** on anyway. In the end though, I know that it is the best that it ended sooner rather than later, I just wish it didnt end in such a brutal manner.

 

She still wants me to be her friend and says i am not forgiving/ being nice when I explain why that is not possible. I ended it in the nicest way I possibly could, I felt like that was better than just calling her names and showing the pain. If i did that, it meant she wins.

 

EDIT: A lot of the more ridiculous things i said earlier, like "Her vagina is tight" i said with a chuckle, just because I was having trouble even reasoning from the other guy's perspective haha. It was a musing

It takes a long times sometimes to move on from a horrible hurt such as a breakup. Especially when you are cheated on. It was easy for her to move on because SHE did the cheating and SHE did the dumping. It's always easier on the dumper. She's moved on to the new dude and you don't have anyone right now. Of course it's going to hurt you more then her.

 

Don't ever be friends with this girl. She's not worth your time. As a girlfriend or as just a friend. My ex tried it with me and I told him it wasn't going to happen. I'm glad I made that decision because it helped me to move on. I also will NEVER be put on the back burner. That's usually why they want to remain friends. They want a back up plan.

 

Yeah the tight vagina thing was too funny. I was like "this guy is a complete idiot!" Hahahahahahaha:laugh:

[LoveBear22]

It takes a long times sometimes to move on from a horrible hurt such as a breakup. Especially when you are cheated on. It was easy for her to move on because SHE did the cheating and SHE did the dumping. It's always easier on the dumper. She's moved on to the new dude and you don't have anyone right now. Of course it's going to hurt you more then her.

 

Don't ever be friends with this girl. She's not worth your time. As a girlfriend or as just a friend. My ex tried it with me and I told him it wasn't going to happen. I'm glad I made that decision because it helped me to move on. I also will NEVER be put on the back burner. That's usually why they want to remain friends. They want a back up plan.

 

Yeah the tight vagina thing was too funny. I was like "this guy is a complete idiot!" Hahahahahahaha:laugh:

 

Yep i suppose thats all true. I guess its also that, as it turns out, I was the only one completely invested in the relationship while she had a backup (that she even introduced me to... how bizarre). She always tried to make me focus on how hurt she was, yet had no problem with moving on fast.

 

Bonus info, was when the break finally happened completely i begged her not to post pics of them on facebook for a while just so I could heal. She posted them smiling and holding hands, a whole album of it, 6 days later saying that she sees nothing wrong with it and wasnt "trying" to do harm, and was sorry if it hurt me. How insensitive is that? I wouldn't do that ever to somebody i dated.

[ShannonMI]

Yep i suppose thats all true. I guess its also that, as it turns out, I was the only one completely invested in the relationship while she had a backup (that she even introduced me to... how bizarre). She always tried to make me focus on how hurt she was, yet had no problem with moving on fast.

 

Bonus info, was when the break finally happened completely i begged her not to post pics of them on facebook for a while just so I could heal. She posted them smiling and holding hands, a whole album of it, 6 days later saying that she sees nothing wrong with it and wasnt "trying" to do harm, and was sorry if it hurt me. How insensitive is that? I wouldn't do that ever to somebody i dated.

Facebook is evil. I don't have an fb profile because I think it causes nothing but trouble. My ex has a fb profile and I looked at it the first week of the breakup and realized it was making things so much worse. I swore off looking ever again and I haven't looked since nor will I ever. I have no interest in what he's doing or WHO he's doing, so it's easy to steer clear. I suggest you do the same thing if you haven't done it already. There's no need to keep tabs on this girl. What's done is done and you need to move on.

[LoveBear22]

Facebook is evil. I don't have an fb profile because I think it causes nothing but trouble. My ex has a fb profile and I looked at it the first week of the breakup and realized it was making things so much worse. I swore off looking ever again and I haven't looked since nor will I ever. I have no interest in what he's doing or WHO he's doing, so it's easy to steer clear. I suggest you do the same thing if you haven't done it already. There's no need to keep tabs on this girl. What's done is done and you need to move on.

 

No tabs being kept, i cut off all contact. That was just a bizarre part--one of many-- of the end. Usually when someone asks nicely that the other be consideratr just for a little while, they dont do the opposite in a matter of days on purpose. Im much better now, but not ready to date so quickly again. I feel like that would prevent really deep healing and and might cause a rebound pain later on.

 

Also, how do you delete a thread?

Edited October 25, 2011 by LoveBear22

[ffw]

Also, how do you delete a thread?

 

You can't. As far as i know, you will be needing a court order to do it. Why do you want to delete your thread?

[serial muse]

Wow. I did not see this twist coming.

 

lovebear, you can't delete threads. The mods are pretty emphatic on that point - you have to live with what you post, so it should be something you'll stand behind.

 

The downside of posting this kind of thing is that people will feel more suspicious now...for example, I can't help but wonder if you really are the ex, or if you're the current BF and you're worried that the new GF is reading your posts somehow, so you're trying to pass it off as though you're someone else.

 

Better just to be up front from the beginning, is all I'm saying. But, taking this at face value - I do hope this was helpful in your healing process.

[LoveBear22]

Wow. I did not see this twist coming.

 

lovebear, you can't delete threads. The mods are pretty emphatic on that point - you have to live with what you post, so it should be something you'll stand behind.

 

The downside of posting this kind of thing is that people will feel more suspicious now...for example, I can't help but wonder if you really are the ex, or if you're the current BF and you're worried that the new GF is reading your posts somehow, so you're trying to pass it off as though you're someone else.

 

Better just to be up front from the beginning, is all I'm saying. But, taking this at face value - I do hope this was helpful in your healing process.

 

 

Its okay if they are suspicious now, the point was to see the other perspective. People I tell this thing to from my side ALL say that this chick was an awful whore whose new relationship can never work because it is based on cheating, lies, deceit, etc and has no basis of trust long distance. I wanted to see if people would support the other side given that they're not just trying to make me feel better.

 

So once I already saw that its almost the same, the point of the whole thread was completed. Whether its suspicious or not now is completely irrelevant, the perspective from the other side has already been shared. Thats why I decided to be honest, because several people have devoted time to answering and that is much appreciated and i figured i owed them honesty for that.

 

And the reason why I want to delete it is because i wouldn't want somebody I know stumbling upon this thread in the future. I stumbled upon this community when looking for answers to why what happened happened, because it has been a roller coaster ride. I would've much preferred if it was a clear cut case of her finding somebody who worked better for her, but that wasn't what happened and the end was pretty unnecessarily brutal and manipulative.

 

Thanks for understanding.

[ShannonMI]

Wow. I did not see this twist coming.

 

lovebear, you can't delete threads. The mods are pretty emphatic on that point - you have to live with what you post, so it should be something you'll stand behind.

 

The downside of posting this kind of thing is that people will feel more suspicious now...for example, I can't help but wonder if you really are the ex, or if you're the current BF and you're worried that the new GF is reading your posts somehow, so you're trying to pass it off as though you're someone else.

 

Better just to be up front from the beginning, is all I'm saying. But, taking this at face value - I do hope this was helpful in your healing process.

I was thinking the same thing because everyone was telling him what a douche he was being for cheating and staying with this girl. Even though it's all anonymous, he might have been feeling badly about himself. I hope that isn't the case. If that is indeed the case, he shouldn't have posted in the first place. No one was going to react in a good way about this. Everyone was going to say the girl was a ho and he was a dumb @ss. Some people can't handle the truth though.

 

For what it's worth, I believe OP because after all he knows the truth and will live with it.

[ShannonMI]

Its okay if they are suspicious now, the point was to see the other perspective. People I tell this thing to from my side ALL say that this chick was an awful whore whose new relationship can never work because it is based on cheating, lies, deceit, etc and has no basis of trust long distance. I wanted to see if people would support the other side given that they're not just trying to make me feel better.

 

So once I already saw that its almost the same, the point of the whole thread was completed. Whether its suspicious or not now is completely irrelevant, the perspective from the other side has already been shared. Thats why I decided to be honest, because several people have devoted time to answering and that is much appreciated and i figured i owed them honesty for that.

 

And the reason why I want to delete it is because i wouldn't want somebody I know stumbling upon this thread in the future. I stumbled upon this community when looking for answers to why what happened happened, because it has been a roller coaster ride. I would've much preferred if it was a clear cut case of her finding somebody who worked better for her, but that wasn't what happened and the end was pretty unnecessarily brutal and manipulative.

 

Thanks for understanding.

 

The odds of someone you know stumbling on this thread are pretty slim. Once people stop posting in it, it will become lost in the thousands of threads on this forum. So no worries.

[ffw]

The odds of someone you know stumbling on this thread are pretty slim. Once people stop posting in it, it will become lost in the thousands of threads on this forum. So no worries.

 

I agree with Shannon. Anyways, its not like that your ex or current gf is surfing LC forums.

[LoveBear22]

I was thinking the same thing because everyone was telling him what a douche he was being for cheating and staying with this girl. Even though it's all anonymous, he might have been feeling badly about himself. I hope that isn't the case. If that is indeed the case, he shouldn't have posted in the first place. No one was going to react in a good way about this. Everyone was going to say the girl was a ho and he was a dumb @ss. Some people can't handle the truth though.

 

For what it's worth, I believe OP because after all he knows the truth and will live with it.

 

I suppose i am pretty pleased with the response anyway, it makes me feel like i was in fact right in how I felt about the whole thing. This girl manipulated me into thinking that I was abusive and lacked understanding or, as she said "compassion". Like i said, it was a mind **** like no other that made me think that I was in the wrong for being extremely angry. She said I was "so manipulative its scary" in how I told her she was wrong and had no moral code at the time. In the end, I felt like a loser, and frankly I didnt want to talk to anybody about it because the whole situation was an embarrassment. I haven't really told anyone the depth of the story, they either would think im lying or something else because she puts on a totally different face to the public than private (I fell in love with the first face, the second emerged slowly in the relationship and burst out at the end and was unreal).

[LoveBear22]

I agree with Shannon. Anyways, its not like that your ex or current gf is surfing LC forums.

 

No GF right now, I am hooking up with someone casually but she just got out of a relationship as well and I am making sure to take it very, very slow.

 

EDIT: Also, Shannon has posted here to much and made me feel a hell of a lot better about telling the girl that I don't want to be friends/know her anymore. Thank you for that, really. :hug:

Edited October 25, 2011 by LoveBear22

[ShannonMI]

I agree with Shannon. Anyways, its not like that your ex or current gf is surfing LC forums.

Yeah that too. She doesn't seem like that type of chick. She sounds vapid, whorish and just plain stupid. I doubt a girl like that would search out love advice. I could be wrong. But again, chances are pretty slim and you are under an anonymous name. I assume Love Bear isn't your real name?:p No one would know it was you.

[delurk]

And the reason why I want to delete it is because i wouldn't want somebody I know stumbling upon this thread in the future.

Even if someone you knew did stumble onto this thread, how would they know for sure it was you? Your username is generic, you haven't posted any personal details, and the description of what happened to you could apply to many, many people. (Hence other people who find themselves in a similar position in the future will be able to relate to and appreciate your thread.)

 

Even if someone did somehow manage to link your posts to you specifically, what's the harm? So a girlfriend at some point in your past broke up with you in a nasty manner. So what? It happens to almost everyone at some point or another. There's nothing wrong with a past relationship not lasting forever. I don't see why anyone would hold that against you, or even raise an eyebrow.

[LoveBear22]

Yeah that too. She doesn't seem like that type of chick. She sounds vapid, whorish and just plain stupid. I doubt a girl like that would search out love advice. I could be wrong. But again, chances are pretty slim and you are under an anonymous name. I assume Love Bear isn't your real name?:p No one would know it was you.

 

Actually, my name would probably be a dead givaway to her if she saw it

god im a dumbass.

[ffw]

No GF right now, I am hooking up with someone casually but she just got out of a relationship as well and I am making sure to take it very, very slow.

 

EDIT: Also, Shannon has posted here to much and made me feel a hell of a lot better about telling the girl that I don't want to be friends/know her anymore. Thank you for that, really. :hug:

 

Be careful, don't end up being a rebound. Yes, she always give some valuable input.

[ShannonMI]

I suppose i am pretty pleased with the response anyway, it makes me feel like i was in fact right in how I felt about the whole thing. This girl manipulated me into thinking that I was abusive and lacked understanding or, as she said "compassion". Like i said, it was a mind **** like no other that made me think that I was in the wrong for being extremely angry. She said I was "so manipulative its scary" in how I told her she was wrong and had no moral code at the time. In the end, I felt like a loser, and frankly I didnt want to talk to anybody about it because the whole situation was an embarrassment. I haven't really told anyone the depth of the story, they either would think im lying or something else because she puts on a totally different face to the public than private (I fell in love with the first face, the second emerged slowly in the relationship and burst out at the end and was unreal).

I know you want this thread to slip into the abyss and I shouldn't keep posting, but what was that about compassion? How were you not compassionate to her? Because you were heart broken over the break up? I don't get that. Or were you not compassionate during the relationship?

[ShannonMI]

Even if someone you knew did stumble onto this thread, how would they know for sure it was you? Your username is generic, you haven't posted any personal details, and the description of what happened to you could apply to many, many people. (Hence other people who find themselves in a similar position in the future will be able to relate to and appreciate your thread.)

 

Even if someone did somehow manage to link your posts to you specifically, what's the harm? So a girlfriend at some point in your past broke up with you in a nasty manner. So what? It happens to almost everyone at some point or another. There's nothing wrong with a past relationship not lasting forever. I don't see why anyone would hold that against you, or even raise an eyebrow.

It would almost be GOOD if the girl read this thread. Then she would know how she is viewed. As a nasty, cheating, materialistic whore who lost a good guy. It might do her good to read it. Maybe she would change her ways.

[LoveBear22]

And I know that she broke away from me at the end, but I was trying to explain that at first this was far from the case. She cried and begged me relentlessly to forgive her, saying that the other guy meant absolutely nothing to her and she had no feelings for him at all. She lied, and lied and lied to get me to hang out with her and try to "heal together" as she said it. I even went to her graduation after knowing everything, hung out with her parents (her mom liked me a lot, wanted me to visit them all summer and such), gave her a gift, and tried to believe her that it was just a physical thing blah blah blah. She claims my inability to forgive her or trust her drove her away in the end, and that I was an angry person (which I am NOT) and some other nonsense. All around, she was super manipulative. I don't think she liked that I broke up with her at school and embarrassed her, so she manipulated me and then jumped ship quickly and threw it in my face for revenge (and laughed at me when I told her how upset it made me).

 

I got fooled. Lesson learned.