Quickvr4 Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Alright guys here is the story and I would like to get some feedback because I am stumped. A co-worker and I have been dating for about 6 months now. She is a single mom and is extrememly busy taking care of her son and other family members. Throughout our relationship I saw her for about 1 day a week outside of work due to her busy schedule. Initially when we started liking eachother she told me upfront that she doesn't date because she is too busy being a single mom. In the end we somehow started dating and it grew into a relationship. Throughout the 6 months I could slowly see her stress building up and she was not able to get everything done that she needed to. She was sacrificing a lot to just be able to see me once a week. About 2 weeks ago she told me that she is not able to be in a relationship with me anymore because it is too much for her to take on and causes her way too much stress. She then tells me that she still likes me just as much but she has priorities in her life, her son, and she has been slacking with things that she needs to do for him just so she is able to see me. I like her a lot and am not sure what to do. She said that it has absolutely nothing to do with how she feels about me and it is that she has priorities and cannot take on anymore. I even asked her in a tricky way and she confirmed that it has nothing to do with how much she likes me. I am not sure what to do. I honestly believe she is not going to date anyone, at least for a long time because she does not have anytime for it. I am hesitant to be a "friend" with her because I don't want to be in the "friend zone." What should I do? I like this woman a lot and even seeing her once a week outside of work was good enough for me.
leoc1973 Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Is there any way you can help her out with any of her chores? Does she not want you around her kid?
confused kitty Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 It really does just sound like a case of "bad timing" to me... Have you been in touch with her since the break up??? Perhaps try talking to her again about this, and tell her you fully understand her situation but that you feel there is something here worth holding onto. Could you perhaps call around to her in the evenings when her son is gone to bed?? At least this way you wouldnt be interupting her time she needs to spend with him... However, if she still insists this isnt going to work for her, then im afraid you may just have to fall into the dreaded "friend zone" for now, as you say she is a co-worker so I doubt you will be able to avoid her or go no contact...
Author Quickvr4 Posted October 21, 2011 Author Posted October 21, 2011 Is there any way you can help her out with any of her chores? Does she not want you around her kid? Unfortunately at the 6 month point it was not an option. She is very cautious about bringing anyone into her son's life. She does not want him to get attached in case something were to happen.
Author Quickvr4 Posted October 21, 2011 Author Posted October 21, 2011 It really does just sound like a case of "bad timing" to me... Have you been in touch with her since the break up??? Perhaps try talking to her again about this, and tell her you fully understand her situation but that you feel there is something here worth holding onto. Could you perhaps call around to her in the evenings when her son is gone to bed?? At least this way you wouldnt be interupting her time she needs to spend with him... However, if she still insists this isnt going to work for her, then im afraid you may just have to fall into the dreaded "friend zone" for now, as you say she is a co-worker so I doubt you will be able to avoid her or go no contact... Thanks for your feedback. We kept in touch a lot via text and sometimes over the phone. The main issue was that she felt she could not put much into the relationship on her end and resulted in her feeling guilty. I don't think I can do the "friend" thing because I would just be faking how I really felt and so would she.
confused kitty Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Then IMO i think you should talk to her and try work something out, if being friends would mean both of you hiding your feelings then there has to be a way of working something out.. explain to her exactly what youve just said here that You were happy enough seeing eachother once a week and try calling over in the evenings ( i totally understand her being wary who she introduces to her son) when he goes to bed and see if that would work for you both... but make sure this "limited time together" is something your really comfortable with because if she decides to give it another go, it could go on like this for another 6months before schedules/priorities change and you really dont want to end up resenting her for it , when she made it clear to you from the start...
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