Cee Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Tonight, I am giving away many of my larger possessions because I'm moving in with my boyfriend next week. I'm giving away my bed and it's bringing up a sense of loss and sadness. I am acutely aware of how much I have loved myself during my era of singlehood and I'm afraid of losing that. I love myself and I love my boyfriend. I've never had this feeling before and it feels like I love two people. That's because I have this private inner dialogue with myself that only I can hear. And sometimes my inner self is louder than my boyfriend, which is weird because I have to shift my attention back and forth. I worry that I will lose myself, but it hasn't happened. In a way, it's like when you try to focus on something close up and far away. You can't focus on both at the same time, so you have to shift the lens back and forth. Tonight the lens is focused squarely on myself. And I am a bit weepy because I am so glad that I learned to love myself. It has been a greater joy than meeting my sweet man. I love two people. I am twice blessed.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Lucky lady, your self. This gives you eternal immunity from hurt if told to go ___ yourself.
Imajerk17 Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 (edited) I guess that means that, in some metaphysical sense, your boyfriend is in for a whole lot of threesomes! Congrats... Edited October 20, 2011 by Imajerk17
Woggle Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Good to see this thread is not what I thought it was going to be.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Cee, I can relate to that in some peripheral way. I bought my dream house about 9-10 months ago. I absolutely loved it in every way. I looked for it for 6 months previously. I enjoyed spending hours sketching some ideas on how to decorate it, what plants to plant in my two backyards. Everything was done exactly to my taste. I spend endless hours walking around buying art trinkets that go perfectly with the furniture and color scheme. Whenever I got home, I felt such an immense love for that house and how happy I was there. The day I moved out, I was pretty sad. I teared up quite a bit. I have now been living with my boyfriend for a month, and no matter how much I loved that house, I love my new life more. That said, I went back once to get some more things and it was still hard for me. Damn it, I was happy there. So yes, lots of conflicting emotions. No major change is easy, not even a good change
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I guess that means that, in some metaphysical sense, your boyfriend is in for a whole lot of threesomes! Congrats... ... and in some purely physical sense, she loved herself a lot in that bed she's given away.
confused kitty Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 lol i think we'r geting a little off topic here but thanks for the giggle
Author Cee Posted October 21, 2011 Author Posted October 21, 2011 Good to see this thread is not what I thought it was going to be. I admit I made my title a bit salacious to get attention. ... and in some purely physical sense, she loved herself a lot in that bed she's given away. I had that very thought when the man picked up the bed to give to his grand-daughter. If that bed could talk. I think it's good to talk about the experience of self-love. It is quite similar to loving my BF. With myself, I exercise patience, laugh gently at myself, and even give myself affection. In times of stress, I give my shoulder massages and wrap myself in a blanket and drink tea. It sounds kind of boring, but it feels so right and good.
zengirl Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 It's funny, I was just thinking about this as I got up this morning! I was just thinking (after reading a poster's sad experience yesterday) how lucky I am to have someone to love me, and then I thought, "Well, really, 2 people." There really is no substitute for loving yourself, but it's really great when you find someone else to love you too.
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