tomm Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 hey all, qick question that i been trying to figure out . why do we [the dumpees ] told to just go no contact,don't look for the ex's etc ? i know they say if the dumpers gave a reason why you were dumpped would you want to hear it , or would it change how you feel .well NO it definatly wouldn't . BUT if [like me ] you were lied to and cheatted on maybe telling the dumper off would at least help you say your peace ya know get the stuff off your chest .you're NOT looking to reconsile with a lier and cheatter anyways BUT knowing for certain you were lied to and cheatted on and you've been told i haven't lied or cheatted on you and you've believed them ,while others know that their lieing right to your face well that makes you feel foolish ME i'm looking forward to the day i run into the ex and can say my piece maybe [well probably ] she wont care what i'd have to say to her ,i just don't like the fact she tried doing things behind my back ,lied to me , cheatted on me ESPECIALLY when we last spoke i came right out and asked/said listen if you're with someone now seeing or datting them being we've been apart for a couple of months just come right out and tell me it's o.k. and i wont waste your time AND i was told oh no that's silly i'm soo busy with work ,family etc when would i even have time to go out WHICH was a flat out lie .and this was during the time when us getting together again was being tossed around EVEN just to sit and talk see ho we'd be around each other .THEN just 2 days later i find out for a FACT she's been datting someone and trying to keep it a secret from me and people that would know us both . SOO yea i want to tell her how full of it she's been ,and how i'd want nothing to do with her now or in the future and some other things . WHY should i be that ''bigger'' person after the garbage i went through NOT looking for revenge just to let her know i'm not foolish , or stupid I'D call and say it to her BUT my calls would be getting ignored, e-mails not even read soo the day i see her around in person i'll see my oppertunity and i'll take it .........
Chi townD Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 You answered your own question. You wrote that if you do see your Ex and you say your peace, she probably won't care. DING!!! DING!!!! If you confront her and tell her that she a lying and cheating Ho! She'll get mad and offended. THEN, she'll convince her herself that she was right to break up with you because you were an ass. Thus, you gave her justification in her head that she made the right choice in dumping you. However, if you go No Contact, sooner or later the guilt of what she did to you MIGHT eat at her or someone might tip her off that you know the truth and she'll try to make contact with you to "see how you are". If you stay in NC, she'll get mad at you but then all of these questions will start popping in her head, " Is he REALLY that mad at me?" "Did I hurt him that bad?" "Does he hate me that much?" See, your silence speaks volumes. Ultimately, you've keeped NC, healed and moved on and she's the one that's the mess...
Author tomm Posted October 21, 2011 Author Posted October 21, 2011 WELL it doesn't matter to me at this point if she cares what i got to say or not that's irrevelant to me. and if she's gonna think i'm an ''ass'' well she was with this ''ass'' for 6 long yrs. she'll know that i hate her after i say what i want to say to her [ i'm sure even she'd get that message ] AND if she has to ''think'' if she hurt me that bad [she cheatted on me and lied to me ] then she should seek therapy CAUSE anyone who's been in a relationship ,with future plans is cheated on and lied to is gonna hurt
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