steve566 Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Well ive been in a bit of a slump for the past 2 months since me and my ex broke up, i went no contact about 2 weeks ago to try and move on, she has texted me a couple times i replied the first time but didnt the second. Since then ive been slowly feeling a bit better and decieded i needed to get out of the house to help the process along. Went to my old watering hole and realized that im atleast 8-9 years older than all the girls in there and just couldnt help but feel like a creep with all these younger girls around. im only 27 but live in a college town where there really arent many girls my age. I have no interest in these young girls but really have no clue where to meet girls my age. I used to party and hook up with college girls a few years ago but upon meeting my ex who is my same age realized that we had so much more in common. I have felt miserable all day and i didnt even talk to a single girl last night... i really feel that meeting and talking to new girls could really help me move on but im just at a loss on where to do it. I have a career here so cant really pack up and move but seems like it may be neccesary if nothing changes in the next 6-8 months or so.
mike588 Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 I know how you feel. I was dumped 3 months ago and one bored as hell night I said what the heck I'm going out tonight. Went to one bar and I felt like an old man, second bar was just a bunch of scanky bar sluts so I went home more depressed than I was before I went out. Drank myself silly and went to bed.
Author steve566 Posted October 20, 2011 Author Posted October 20, 2011 yea man i dont get it, everyone says to go out and mingle but it really made me feel like crap. I feel im a good looking guy, have a good job, respectful, and intelligent but seems like these young girls just want a guy that look straight off of jersey shore and is a complete douche. I am at a loss on where to meet intelligent girls older than 22. I work at a hospital and i guess i could meet someone there but i have no experiance with meeting girls anywhere but the bar/ party scene.
mike588 Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 yea man i dont get it, everyone says to go out and mingle but it really made me feel like crap. I feel im a good looking guy, have a good job, respectful, and intelligent but seems like these young girls just want a guy that look straight off of jersey shore and is a complete douche. I am at a loss on where to meet intelligent girls older than 22. I work at a hospital and i guess i could meet someone there but i have no experiance with meeting girls anywhere but the bar/ party scene. Well your fresh into being dumped too and I think even if I found the "right bar" I may come across as alittle depressed, just not into you since I'm still hurting from the breakup. What we need to do is just focus on us and at this time and not be concerned about meeting someone new,, I know what you mean though, it's nice to be around attractive women. I know the old saying; It will happen when you least expect it,,, well that's been true for me. When I went out looking nothing ever seemed to happen then when I was just doing my own thing, bam there she was.
ffw Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 I work at a hospital and i guess i could meet someone there but i have no experiance with meeting girls anywhere but the bar/ party scene. Even if meet these girls, don't expect you will get into a serious relationship. These girls are "fun girls". If you know what I mean. Your situation is better than mine. I am here in a non-English speaking country. Forget about girls, even just to communicate others its a big hassle.
tommycapnpants Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 you know, maybe an italian, thai, or some other type of cooking class might be a good place to try to meet people. may or may not meet someone you are interested in. but, when you do at least you will be able to whip up some good dinners for that special lady.
ken_25 Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 yea man i dont get it, everyone says to go out and mingle but it really made me feel like crap. I feel im a good looking guy, have a good job, respectful, and intelligent but seems like these young girls just want a guy that look straight off of jersey shore and is a complete douche. I am at a loss on where to meet intelligent girls older than 22. I work at a hospital and i guess i could meet someone there but i have no experiance with meeting girls anywhere but the bar/ party scene. Have you tried online dating or meet up groups?
mike588 Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I did join a gym about 2 months ago and that had really helped in alot of ways, bigger muscles,exersise but all the girls in there are either way to young and the others are almost ready for a wheelchair.
Author steve566 Posted October 21, 2011 Author Posted October 21, 2011 I havent ever tried online dating, i dont know always felt there was a bit of desperation involved with that but maybe it's something i could try down the road. I know things have changed with online dating over the years. Im really just looking for some interaction that can get my mind off the break up and loss of my ex. I have a ton of hobbies like mountain biking, surfing, working on motorcycles, fishing and i love to take surf trips all around the world. I can keep myself busy but all these things are pretty much solo activities which is the opposite of what i need right now. Its this feeling of loneliness is what is killing me... i dont know maybe im just having a bad day.
mike588 Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I havent ever tried online dating, i dont know always felt there was a bit of desperation involved with that but maybe it's something i could try down the road. I know things have changed with online dating over the years. Im really just looking for some interaction that can get my mind off the break up and loss of my ex. I have a ton of hobbies like mountain biking, surfing, working on motorcycles, fishing and i love to take surf trips all around the world. I can keep myself busy but all these things are pretty much solo activities which is the opposite of what i need right now. Its this feeling of loneliness is what is killing me... i dont know maybe im just having a bad day. I have also tried hard to stay busy but way back there in my head I think about her and feel the loneliness. I know in time (and you will too) get over and not think about her so much. You are NOT alone!!
USMCHokie Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Do you have any friends that you can spend time with who wouldn't pressure you into trying to hook up? I personally prefer to hang out with my married and coupled friends who generally choose activities that don't revolve around picking up like my single friends do...there's no pressure to go out with the sole purpose of going home with a woman but you still get that social interaction...
Author steve566 Posted October 21, 2011 Author Posted October 21, 2011 Do you have any friends that you can spend time with who wouldn't pressure you into trying to hook up? Yes and actually i went out with them on monday night and it was a much better experiance. Last night my single guy friends were pressuring me and i feel like i just wasnt ready and also i have no interest in these young bar sluts. Maybe hanging out with my couple friends is what i need until im ready to meet someone new.
ken_25 Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I havent ever tried online dating, i dont know always felt there was a bit of desperation involved with that but maybe it's something i could try down the road. I know things have changed with online dating over the years. Im really just looking for some interaction that can get my mind off the break up and loss of my ex. I have a ton of hobbies like mountain biking, surfing, working on motorcycles, fishing and i love to take surf trips all around the world. I can keep myself busy but all these things are pretty much solo activities which is the opposite of what i need right now. Its this feeling of loneliness is what is killing me... i dont know maybe im just having a bad day. Ok I see. Try meetup.com, there are plenty of groups where people do all sorts of activities together. The higher the population the more there will be to do in your area.
Tayla Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 well if for naught you learned that the "bar Scene" is just that a scene not be apart of. So may I recommend finding things you can do from a bucket list....find some things you have been putting off wanting to do....whatever your passion is...rock climbing....taking up sky diving, scuba...its those places that create true alliances of friends.... I took up so many things from my breakups ( yup I am that old lady at the gym who in due time will need a wheelchair...) . So find things you want to do and the rest will follow.....My son met his now wife at of all places a book store! He was a journalist and happened to be doing a critique of an author...she was there to enjoy a small book club meeting and viola, their eyes met...and things happened
Buttercup84 Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I know how you feel . I went out to a party at a bar and felt so depressed . I'm 27 and people there just want to hook up . I felt like I'll never meet anyone to settle down with . I'm over the club and bar scene , tried online dating . I have joined a gym and will be doing a few lessons next year . It's so depressing .
Cypress25 Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 A lot of people who do online dating are just like you. They're out of school and they're not into the bar scene anymore, so dating sites become a good place to meet people your own age. At least give it a try and join a free site. You won't lose anything.
BLuvv Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 I'm the same age too and had the same experience. I went out with friends and the whole thing just felt sleazy and made me feel worse in the end. I need to find new hobbies to meet people, because I'm just not into the bar scene anymore. Also, I don't think the bar scene is a good place to meet serious boyfriends/girlfriends, because everyone is just getting drunk and hooking up and I want no part of that.
Author steve566 Posted October 21, 2011 Author Posted October 21, 2011 yea, i agree.. when i was in my early twenties i loved going out because everyone my age was out and having a blast. Now i just feel out of the loop and its more depressing than anything. I guess this bar may just not be for me anymore, it is where i met my last 2 exes if thats any indication. I need to try out some new places and keep busy and active and who knows maybe i'll meet some new people.
Recommended Posts