infinity8245 Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 My ex and I dated for over four years. We broke up about a month and a half ago now. She already decided to start dating someone else (but that was a story for another thread) When we were dating we had lived together, and upon splitting up, I found moved out and found my own place. This left us with a few loose ends to tie up. I had told her to mail me everything at my new address and we would deal with things that way. On Tuesday, she texted me to call her when I had a chance to sort some things out with our old apartment. She claims to have lost my new address that I texted to her the day before (I have a hard time believing that) and wanted to see if I was around on University Campus so she could drop things off with me directly and save her five bucks. I said I wasn't, and she said to text her my address again and she would mail things. Well, both yesterday and today I noticed that I missed calls from my ex. However, she didn't leave a voicemail or send a text, so I'm not sure if I should call her back or text her back. I don't want to come off as vindictive, but I'm not sure exactly what she is trying to contact me for or accomplish. Advice?
vsmini Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 If you think you can handle it then I say call her back but have it in your mind that you are to talk about business only and will remain calm. If she starts to talk about something else or go of on a relationship tangent just bring the conversation back to the business at hand. If she can't comply then hang up. I suggest just texting her the address again - she didn't leave a voicemail so what she wants you to know can't be that important. Try texting her the address again and again tell her that you will not meet her in person.
Chi townD Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 You're not being vindictive. If it was important she would have left a VM message. She didn't; so, it wasn't important. Don't read too much into this...
Author infinity8245 Posted October 21, 2011 Author Posted October 21, 2011 Update: She seems to be continuously finding excuses about why she hasn't mailed my things yet. At the point I'm not going to go out of my way to accommodate her. I keep telling her to just mail it to me. My friend had some insight. He thinks she is trying to make excuses to see me. In essence that she is trying to have her cake and eat it too. He thinks its pretty clear she is clearly not over me and she is deluding herself with the new relationship. Think there's any creedence to that?
abuckeyeleaf Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Update: She seems to be continuously finding excuses about why she hasn't mailed my things yet. At the point I'm not going to go out of my way to accommodate her. I keep telling her to just mail it to me. My friend had some insight. He thinks she is trying to make excuses to see me. In essence that she is trying to have her cake and eat it too. He thinks its pretty clear she is clearly not over me and she is deluding herself with the new relationship. Think there's any creedence to that? Yes there is. It sounds like that's exactly what she's trying to do.
wilsonx Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 She doesnt want to cut that final string, so you have to do it. Whatever it takes to cut it do it, and then go NC
Author infinity8245 Posted October 21, 2011 Author Posted October 21, 2011 Thanks for the advice, everyone. I've made myself scarce and let her know that I'm not available to meet. And I've been insistent that she should mail me my things because I'm busy with other things and won't go out of my way to accommodate her. During the breakup, there was talk of reconnecting at a later date (long story in another thread, but essentially we both held hope in revisiting things). But, if that's a talk she wants to have with me down the road, she needs to be up front about it and then I'll decide at the time if I even want to spend my time talking to her about it. Throughout this whole process I've been good about not being a doormat. The way I see it, I'm either all the way in her life, or not at all. I won't let her fill the void with someone new and still have me in the background. As soon as I get all my things, I will be vanishing from her life completely. She needs to realize that it's not only me that lost her, but that she has lost me as well.
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