Kenzii Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Hi All, First post! I'm sure it won't be my last though. So I've been single for about 2 years now, pretty much the same week i broke up with my ex a girl started at one of my clients that i was attracted to from the off. She had a boyfriend up to about 2months ago and although she talked to me before i never felt i had a chance. recently we have been talking a lot more and my feelings towards her have just got stronger and stronger. A few weeks ago she got my number as she needed help with her PC at home (I am a IT technician). She then started to text me afterwards and we talked alot - originally her contacting me first (i still felt that i wasn't really in with a shot) she then said she was bored and wanted to meet up to go out. we went to top golf (which she thrashed me at). on the way home i mentioned i play pool on wednesday nights and she said she wanted to come - we arranged to go the following wednesday. We then didn't talk for 4 days until i contacted her and she straight away started texting me - just general chat and tbh it was boring me so luckily we both made our excuses and said we would see each other wednesday which we did. At pool she was her usual self and we had a good laugh - unfortunately though on the way she talked about her ex boyfriend for the whole journey there and how much she hated him/all men. (i thought this was a date so was thinking WTF?!) After that we talked all through until 2 days ago. it was a 50/50 split on who text who first. I asked her out for a meal and she made her excuses about being tired and then She seemed interested and started to flirt which i replied with and she shied away from it? she then made her excuses about pool the following week when i was going with my friends. I've come to the conclusion that I'm wasting my time - but I'm not 100% sure. Her parents are divorcing at the moment and she is stuck in the middle having to deal with her mum who is upset by this. - all of which she has been quite open about. I'm deliberately not contacting her - when i could easily text her to ask her about her day or some other stuff. i'm annoyed that after us going out 2 weeks in a row she blew me out twice within the same week. Pretty much the reason I'm posting is cause i can't work out where i am with this girl? Part of the issue is that I'm head over heals with her and i feel that I'm not gonna be good enough for her (she is out of my league in other words). Neither of us have really made out feelings known so for all i know she could feel that i don't like her? stuck in no mans land! HELP! thanks
Dawnster Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Seems to me that this other man very much affected her. It's hard to tell truly where her interests lie, considering how bad the break up sounds, if she's talking about it to you. It seems to me that she's looking for an outlet, or outlets to vent her frustrations and distract herself from the previous breakup. It may be possible that she does have some feeling for you was well, but considering previous goings on, may be afraid to admit herself such things...it still mainly seems to me though, that she sees you as the safe person to go to. The friend. Someone that can help her forget things, feel comradery and not have to think of a relationship. I could be wrong thuough. It all really comes down to asking her yourself. You could just wait and see where it goes but, honestly, I think waiting can only make things worse, particularly if you really have interest in her. The faster if you know that she may also have true interest, the faster you can make your decisions to keep your eyes more open for someone else. If she does have similar feelings for you, but is too afraid to show it, or is unsure, to me that's un-level ground and you should at least attempt to move on/keep looking. Best not to let this matter eat you up, either way. If, while you keep your eyes open, it somehow works out, or if you confront her of your feelings and she feels similar, more power to ya man. I hope my advice was somewhat helpful. Good luck, if you haven't found out anything already.
Phantom24 Posted October 22, 2011 Posted October 22, 2011 Don't pressure yourself to know where you are with this girl. Just back off and try to be a friend to her. I would continue to not text her, but always try to be there when she needs you. I know this kind of seems like you are catering to her needs, but being someone who is able to do that is a very appealing trait to women. Be understanding that she is going through difficult times. Someone who is understanding, able to listen to her, and refrains from too much judgment is just what she needs. I know it is tough to put your own needs aside when it comes to relationships, but those partnerships that are built with great foundations of friendships tend to be the most meaningful. And if it never amounts to anything, so what - you were a good friend to someone and if you develop a history of building good friendships, you'll eventually get one that turns into something better.
Author Kenzii Posted October 22, 2011 Author Posted October 22, 2011 Thanks for the replies. Last night i went to a leaving party for girl in the office. Did even cross my mind that she would be there. Its obviously spread amongst friends that we have been out and the others have been calling her my girlfriend ever since they found out. But i was taken aside by one of the girls who is good friends with both myself and her - she said she had been boasting a few weeks before that she can get any guy she wants and manipulate it to get what she wants (i.e. jewellery or other presents) I had no idea that this girl was like that and immediately cut contact with her when she came to talk to me - This resulted in her texting me asking me what the hell my problem was and i launched into a how much i liked her but it was all just a big game. bla bla bla. SO moral of this story - I seem to pick girls that love games
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