lost the love of my life? :(

[LoveIsGreat]

Hi,

 

Mt name is Justin. Recently, (last Saturday) my ex-girlfriend broke up with me. (Were Both 21) She said that the relationship just doesn't feel the same anymore and that I didn't communicate enough with her and that it hurt her. She said that she still really cares for me and that it would mean a lot to her if I would still be apart of her life.I talked to one of her best friends and she said just give her space. Of course I broke down and I knew it was hurting her on the inside too but she just wasn't showing it. We were together for 5 and a half months and our anniversary would have been on october 24th. I know she cares deeply about me, she was always constantly reminding me of how much she loved me and how happy I made her and that she wanted to be with me forever and that no guy had ever made her feel so wanted and happy before. There was a time when I told her that I wanted to marry her one day and have kids were her, she cried because she said that was the best thing anyone has ever told her. I truly meant it and still do. Since the break up I did text her a message confessing my love and how sorry I was. Which I now know is a big NO NO. It will only push them away more, women aren't attracted to needy, helpless guys and begging them is not the way to go.

 

So I read up on what I should do to get her back. I know that I have to work on the problems that ended the relationship, I'm already achieving some of my goals. I read that you should initiate a NO CONTACT PERIOD with her, give her some time to think things over and give her a chance to miss me. It's been hard but I'm sticking to it, I told her that I still care for her and I will be here if she ever wants to talk about anything.

 

I know there is not another guy because she is not the type of girl to look for a rebound guy. She relies a lot upon making a connection which takes time with her. Her dad raised her better than a lot of parents raise there children now adays. Also, when she broke up with me she mentioned that maybe it wasn't a good time right now. She has a lot of things going on, work, trying to find time to spend with family and friends and then me. Maybe it was just too stressful.

 

I just want to know what I should do.

 

How long should I keep the no contact period up?

If she contacts me should I respond back?

Is she still thinking about me as much as I think about her?

Does she miss me?

Is there a chance for reconciliation.

If I don't contact her does she think I don't care about her?

 

I just want to know what I should do. Any advice/ help is greatly appreciated

[jormungand]

Welcome, Justin.

 

Send one last contact message fully explaining yourself and the love you have. let her know you're there for her 100%, then start no contact. If she does contact you, be polite but keep your emotion out of it.

 

My ex wanted space before breaking up with me, I would email her twice to ask how she was doing. It's too bad that she was secretly seeing her ex at that point and didn't miss me. So yeah, this whole 'space' thing can certainly backfire on you, but you can certainly lose. Best of luck in getting the love of your life back, but if she never speaks to you again, you know she wasn't worth what you have to give her. I know I have to go throughout the rest of my life without my perfect counterpoint.

[stargirl259]

Hi Justin, totally sucks, doesn't it!

 

My boyfriend and I broke up (will be 2 weeks tomorrow) he said he couldn't handle a relationship right now in his life and broke up with me. With us, I sent him one last text telling him how much I loved him and he said he loved me but had too much to deal with to be in a serious relationship. I then decided after that message I would not text him, facebook him or call him and decided I would live my life, see my friends go out and have fun! I have been doing this 3 days before he started talking to me, asking if I've had nice nights out, what am I doing and who I'm seeing. Of course, I replied back but not as quickly as before and I am coming to realise that if we are meant to be together, we will get back together and if not, then my perfect man is waiting for me!

 

So the moral of the story... even though your feeling absolutely rubbish right now, I bet she is as well and I bet she misses you as much as you miss her.

 

But, look after yourself first... make that your first priority. Meet your friends, go out and have fun (though you don't want to) it will make you feel better and take your mind off it (even if it's just for a few hours).

 

If she reaches out for you, of course be there for her (if you can) and within time, if your meant to be together, she will be back. I hope that helps and best of luck x

[mike588]

Hi,

 

Mt name is Justin. Recently, (last Saturday) my ex-girlfriend broke up with me. (Were Both 21) She said that the relationship just doesn't feel the same anymore and that I didn't communicate enough with her and that it hurt her. She said that she still really cares for me and that it would mean a lot to her if I would still be apart of her life.I talked to one of her best friends and she said just give her space. Of course I broke down and I knew it was hurting her on the inside too but she just wasn't showing it. We were together for 5 and a half months and our anniversary would have been on october 24th. I know she cares deeply about me, she was always constantly reminding me of how much she loved me and how happy I made her and that she wanted to be with me forever and that no guy had ever made her feel so wanted and happy before. There was a time when I told her that I wanted to marry her one day and have kids were her, she cried because she said that was the best thing anyone has ever told her. I truly meant it and still do. Since the break up I did text her a message confessing my love and how sorry I was. Which I now know is a big NO NO. It will only push them away more, women aren't attracted to needy, helpless guys and begging them is not the way to go.

 

So I read up on what I should do to get her back. I know that I have to work on the problems that ended the relationship, I'm already achieving some of my goals. I read that you should initiate a NO CONTACT PERIOD with her, give her some time to think things over and give her a chance to miss me. It's been hard but I'm sticking to it, I told her that I still care for her and I will be here if she ever wants to talk about anything.

 

I know there is not another guy because she is not the type of girl to look for a rebound guy. She relies a lot upon making a connection which takes time with her. Her dad raised her better than a lot of parents raise there children now adays. Also, when she broke up with me she mentioned that maybe it wasn't a good time right now. She has a lot of things going on, work, trying to find time to spend with family and friends and then me. Maybe it was just too stressful.

 

I just want to know what I should do.

 

How long should I keep the no contact period up?

If she contacts me should I respond back?

Is she still thinking about me as much as I think about her?

Does she miss me?

Is there a chance for reconciliation.

If I don't contact her does she think I don't care about her?

 

I just want to know what I should do. Any advice/ help is greatly appreciated

 

Since the breakup is still fresh I'd email/text her one last time telling her how you feel,what you want/expect in the relationship, keep it short and to the point then go STRICT NO CONTACT.

 

Don't call her or tell her face to face because then all your emotions go wild and you will defeat the purpose.

 

If there is no other guy involved then of course she thinks about you! The purpose of No Contact is not to make a person miss you but if you go N.C. it surely helps.

 

As far as how long should you go N.C. depends,,,start off by going one month and see what happens. If she contacts you, say calls you don't answer on the 1st ring better yet don't answer at all. If she leaves a message call back the next day,,, DON'T come across that your sitting there waiting on her!!!!!!!!! Same as a text. Just say I've been busy.

 

If you do respond don't be a wuss, be nice yet firm.You want to come across that you have been fine and moving on,, other wise you will come across as weak and pathetic!!!!!

 

Girls DONT like that.

[LoveIsGreat]

I did exactly that, she didn't even respond to it. Thats what hurts, at least be an adult and reply. But maybe there are still just to many emotions going through her. Then I'm also confused, we spent nearly 7 hours texting tuesday about everything, she was making jokes and happy faces. Just like when we were dating.

 

By the end of the night this is wha I said.

 

Well ******* (not trying to give her name) it was good talking to you. If you ever want to talk about anything I'm here. Goodnight.

 

She replied goodnight

 

Then it's been pretty much no communication since. Maybe she's thinking, I'm not exactly sure. I kept reitterating when we were texting that If you want me to stop texting you let me know. But she didn't, she kept on texting me.

 

There's just so much going through my mind right now. I realize no matter how much I want her I can't force her to be with me. *SHE* has to want to be with me.

 

When and if she does contact me again during the no contact period how do I keep things casual, like not trying to bring up the lets get back together thing. Do I approach as a friend, just talk about casual things like music, family, work, friends?

 

Thanks.

[mike588]

I did exactly that, she didn't even respond to it. Thats what hurts, at least be an adult and reply. But maybe there are still just to many emotions going through her. Then I'm also confused, we spent nearly 7 hours texting tuesday about everything, she was making jokes and happy faces. Just like when we were dating.

 

By the end of the night this is wha I said.

 

Well ******* (not trying to give her name) it was good talking to you. If you ever want to talk about anything I'm here. Goodnight.

 

She replied goodnight

 

Then it's been pretty much no communication since. Maybe she's thinking, I'm not exactly sure. I kept reitterating when we were texting that If you want me to stop texting you let me know. But she didn't, she kept on texting me.

 

There's just so much going through my mind right now. I realize no matter how much I want her I can't force her to be with me. *SHE* has to want to be with me.

 

When and if she does contact me again during the no contact period how do I keep things casual, like not trying to bring up the lets get back together thing. Do I approach as a friend, just talk about casual things like music, family, work, friends?

 

Thanks.

 

Yea, keep it casual, how ya been? Hows your family,work. DON'T start crying, begging, I LOVE YOU BOO HOO! etc. Feel it out,, if she really want's to date/see you again she will let you know.

 

Let her do most of the talking , asking questions and don't give up to much info. about yourself, be mysterious

[Eddie Edirol]

If she contacts you during NC, dont tell her anything personal. That is privelidged information that she doesnt deserve to know now that she dumped you. Just change the subject. Dont ask her how shes doing, dont ask her about her. You really shouldnt pick up the phone at all.

 

I know you think that she isnt seeing someone else, but you will find out soon that she is. When she is ignoring your texts, it means she doesnt want to hear from you. The real reason is usually she wants to date around and she was tired of you. She didnt show that she was hurt, because she wasnt. She gave up on your relationship a while ago.

 

So in the coming months you will remember what you might have done to kill her attraction to you. And dont be surprised if you see or hear about her with someone new. Its the same old story around here. You dont believe she would do that now, but shes 21, trust me, she is at the age where she wants to experiment.