ssimonson09 Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Hi all! So I was wondering if I could get some advice on how to improve things in the long distance relationship I'm currently in. A little back story, I'm 25 and a grad student in Fort Collins, CO. My girlfriend is 22, just finished undergrad last May, and is currently living at home in Portland, OR while taking some time off to apply for grad schools. We've been going out for just over a year now, (13 months to be exact) and the past 5 months of that have been long distance. We're able to see each other about once a month either for a long weekend, or sometimes longer (a week or so) depending on school and work schedules. However, we still have at least 6 more months until she'll move back here if she gets into grad school here, or I move there, if she gets into grad school there. At the present we usually talk more or less nightly for about an hour or so, and also text the usual "good morning" and "good night" stuff, and other things. We also use skype on occasion when we have the time for it. Over all things have been going fairly decently in this so far because we've both got a great deal of trust in one another and are very open with one another about things and can rationally talk about our problems with one another. However, over the past month or two we've realized that there are some things we could improve on so I'm turning to you guys and gals for some advice. The first is that she wants things to maybe be a little less predictable (as far as with the texting goes) in the relationship. It's not that she doesn't like getting them, it's that she's a little bored with seeing the same thing many days, so any ideas on how to mix it up? Second, How can we remind each other that the magic of our relationship is still there? When we visit each other its super obvious, but when we're apart sometimes its hard to see it and be reminded that it's worth all the effort. How can we remind each other of this? (I think this is one of the biggest ones) Also, any ideas on how we can create memories together even though we're far away? When we were both in school together we would see each other almost every other day, so we were constantly doing things together, but now we see each other only a few days every couple of weeks. I know this plays into the remind each other of the magic thing, but have no idea where to go on it. Finally, how can I be more engaging in our phone conversations? I know I need to be asking more questions, and recently picked up Intellectual Foreplay to help with that but still feel like I could use some work. Either way, thanks for reading through this and hopefully having some good advice for me. We both really love each other and really want this thing to work out. Looking forward to hearing some different perspectives on this from everyone on this forum.
almondeyes101 Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Hi all! Also, any ideas on how we can create memories together even though we're far away? When we were both in school together we would see each other almost every other day, so we were constantly doing things together, but now we see each other only a few days every couple of weeks. I know this plays into the remind each other of the magic thing, but have no idea where to go on it. Finally, how can I be more engaging in our phone conversations? I know I need to be asking more questions, and recently picked up Intellectual Foreplay to help with that but still feel like I could use some work. QUOTE] Hi I am a newbie too! I'll try my hand at some advise lol:D In the first year of my LDR I did the same as you but like you said it got bored fast... What I did was I sent him one email a day... but I remembered what we talked about the previous night or that morning or anytime during the day and I sent him an email about that it was either something funny or smart or anything that would let him know that I was thinking of him... example: He is a computer programmer and worked on the Pearson's site and was having some trouble with the 'Coming soon' section... With all it's sexual connotations I sent him a fun filled email... He called me as soon as he got the mail... Also I try to call him by a fun name every time we talk not the usual 'sweetheart' cause that's just lame but 'gummy bear' 'pumkin pie' or 'poo poo' (this one he hates for obvious reason) but he I know he looks forward to it every time... Also I took a bunch of photos that people took of us that he probably never saw and I made a video... He really like this one cause I showed an interest in computers and not just for the internet! Like i said he is into computers so I would send him articles that i deliberately looked up (most of the time he read it already) just so it would spark not just intellectual conversation but conversation that he was interested in... All these things gave me positive feedback form my b/f hopefully you can try it or tweak it to your g/f... happy relationship! :love:
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