susanmly Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 I need some advice. I have a very good friend who is in the middle of a divorce, I believe he said it wont be final until early next year. He has two boys who are 8 and 10 years old, who he is very close to. The last month he has become really down, he tells me maybe he's being selfish and not putting his kids needs first. Basically I think he's questioning the divorce for the sake of his boys even though he is totally miserable in his marriage. My question is, is this a normal feeling for a man going through a divorce? He is normally a very positive person and it really bothers me that he's so conflicted about this. Any advice?
UntoldStory Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 I need some advice. I have a very good friend who is in the middle of a divorce, I believe he said it wont be final until early next year. He has two boys who are 8 and 10 years old, who he is very close to. The last month he has become really down, he tells me maybe he's being selfish and not putting his kids needs first. Basically I think he's questioning the divorce for the sake of his boys even though he is totally miserable in his marriage. My question is, is this a normal feeling for a man going through a divorce? He is normally a very positive person and it really bothers me that he's so conflicted about this. Any advice? It's normal for anyone going through a divorce. Divorce sucks for children more than anyone else, because they are the innocent victims. I personally think it's toughest on kids of that age range, who are old enough to remember their family living together, but too young to understand marriage and what a good one should look like. (My son is 9, and he's going through hell right now.) Any parent with a heart is going to stop and think twice (or a million times) about whether they want to go through with pursuing their own happiness at the expense of causing their kids that pain. Of course, the flip side is, if the marriage is miserable, the kids will (theoretically) eventually be better off for the divorce. That's the reason to push through the short-term pain of helping the kids adjust to the change and heal. I dunno. At any rate, the above is what I tell myself every day and night. HTH
Author susanmly Posted October 20, 2011 Author Posted October 20, 2011 Thanks guys, appreciate your responses:) I kinda thought it was normal but really just wanted a man's point of view. Posted on another forum and was called everything from the "other woman" which I am not, to alot worse. Go figure. Anyways do greatly appreciate your input, just want to help an old friend get through this trouble spot.
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