Deadend Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Hey all. First post here so go easy on me . So I've recently been dating this girl I met for a little over a month now. Things have been going great, and we really seem to be on the same page or so I thought. About two weeks ago we were out at dinner and everything was fine and she wanted to know if we were bf/gf and that she had already told her friends that we were. I was ok with this and everything seemed to be great. Well recently the time we spend together has become less and less, and the text messages were slowing down from her. So the other day she texts me that she can't be bf/gf right now b/c of too much pressure and stress over the title of it and that she's always really busy all of a sudden. Again I was ok with it if she wanted to take things slow and whatnot. The thing that I don't get is she still wants to see me and go out but just not have the title. Now I haven't heard from her at all and have not seen her since last Monday. What's going on here? Did she already move on? Thanks.
confused kitty Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 I hate to say it but sounds to me like shes met somebody else... I hope im wrong for your sake but the fact that she asked you if yous were bf/gf and that she already told her friends means she was definitly interested, so why the sudden change...??? Like I said I really hope Im wrong here, if I was you I wouldnt contact her - why should you do the chasing?? Leave her be for now and she if she contacts you.....
Feelin Frisky Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Sorry, that's always hard. I wouldn't suspect that she's met someone else--she's just pulled back for whatever reason. Perhaps it's done. It happens. I don't know how it went exactly so it's hard to give advice. It's best to prepare yourself for it to be over even if you hope she comes back. Good luck and welcome to LS.
Author Deadend Posted October 20, 2011 Author Posted October 20, 2011 Idk what happened things were going so well. She said she still wanted to be exclusive but here I am wondering if there is more to the story that what she is telling me. What makes it worse is that I've never met anyone like her and I could actually see myself being with her forever. (and I've never said that about anyone I've ever dated...)
tradewinds Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Perhaps when you became BF/GF things changed. The chase was over, you settled in. Notice how when you start a relationship there's some tension there because you don't know each other like "that." This is, oddly enough, part of the attraction. Like the old saying, we want what we don't have. Everything was new a exciting at first, but then, like you said, you got comfortable. Suddenly no tension, no attraction, no chase. This may be her attempt to re-ignite that flame. I recommend that you reintroduce some tension and some unpredictability. Find a way to make things unfamiliarly uncomfortable (as in not weird). Do not shower her with praise or attention at this point, that might be a killer (don't make her feel the chase is over). Find a new date event to go on with her that you have not done before or something. I don't know her or you, but my message is that I think you need to give her something to chase. How to do that is on you. If it's too late, then the effort can't hurt. Good luck!
Author Deadend Posted October 20, 2011 Author Posted October 20, 2011 Thanks tradewinds. I think I'll try that and like you said it can't hurt.
Author Deadend Posted October 21, 2011 Author Posted October 21, 2011 Update: she texted me asking how I was doing. Thing is I don't really know how to respond to that after everything she said.
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