I broke up with her but still like her, fancy her and she is one of my best friends

[SWAN808]

First - please be aware Im a bit of a noob rookie guy in the love game (despite being 30) compared to some knowledgable people here - so am looking for advice. I might add that it seems like there is a strong USA presence here - and I always think you guys have a more open handle on these issues than us British. British people never really talk about this stuff sadly. And our dating culture is nothing like as mature as the US.

 

Anyway

 

So what about when you get that feeling, after the infatuation stage, that she is not right for you - EVEN DESPITE how great you think she is. This is where Im at right now. I honestly feel life can be cruel in the way that two people can have a deep connection and really care about eachother - but when it comes to true love - its not quite there or right for the long term.

 

So - what do you do? She has become an important friend who sees you in a way very few do. We are both recovering from a difficult chronic condition called ME/CFS. We have both been a huge support to eachother. You just loose that and go NC? We broke up very amicably and still care alot about eachother.

 

But it got to the point where I just thought - we have to break up. It seems lik the decent thing to do. Do some people just cruise in a relationship with someone they really like (but not love wholeheartedly?) and enjoy that? I just became quite anxious about doing that - and when we got really close - felt the need to pull back. I dont think that is fair on her.

 

The issue is I am quite an intense and sensitive guy - so when Im in - IM IN. All out. So Im not sure I can be with someone in a casual way. Is this normal? I have a lot of emotional needs and a lot to give - so I think its difficult for me to be like that with someone you are not sure is the right one for you...

 

I honestly am not sure what the normal approach to this type of situation is - so if anyone can offer views Id be really interested.

[wilsonx]

Its your first relationship, if you weren't feeling it then you weren't feeling it. Thats perfectly fine.

 

My biggest question is do you know what TRUE Love is?

 

You have to have internal love for yourself before you can understand TRUE Love. That's why a lot of people that look for true love their entire lives and can never find it. It starts from within

[SWAN808]

Its your first relationship, if you weren't feeling it then you weren't feeling it. Thats perfectly fine.

 

My biggest question is do you know what TRUE Love is?

 

You have to have internal love for yourself before you can understand TRUE Love. That's why a lot of people that look for true love their entire lives and can never find it. It starts from within

 

Hi there - thanks for the response...

 

Its my 3rd relationship but I have to admit Im not sure I do know what true love is...

 

Ill check out the links in your signature...any other good sources of info to point me towards?

[Leegh]

It sounds as if you are "in like" with her, but not "in love" with her. I think it's possible to have a deep friendship with a person of the opposite sex, but not be in love with them. I'm sure she's a great girl, but for romantic love, you may want to try meeting someone new.

[SWAN808]

It sounds as if you are "in like" with her, but not "in love" with her. I think it's possible to have a deep friendship with a person of the opposite sex, but not be in love with them. I'm sure she's a great girl, but for romantic love, you may want to try meeting someone new.

 

yes I think that might be it! Is this a known state? I really like so many things about her! Such a great girl. But on a deeper level seems like there are things stopping it from being full on love.

 

Seems confusing...seems so hard to find someone you connect with - she has been the closest by far...