DenumChkn Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 I've been talking to this girl I work with (at a restaurant where we rarely see each other because of differing shifts) on and off for a month or so. I ran into her one night at a bar meeting some other friends and ended up talking to her and drinking with her all night (we were both fairly drunk :x) and it was good harmless fun. During the course of our conversation she expressed jealousy/anger towards another girl we work with who had been very flirtatious with me. She said she was annoyed by how guys (me in this case) will go for whichever girl makes it easiest for them. We both expressed that we liked each other and towards the end of the night she leaned in like she wanted a kiss but it kind of turned into a hug haha. I didn't want to take advantage of her or anything because I actually really like her and she was pretty drunk. Since then we've met up one other time at a bar briefly because we were both with separate groups of friends. I've texted her a few times since then sporadically and she always responds quickly and is friendly, asking me what I'm doing etc. in her replies. The thing is, she has never initiated the conversation by texting me first. Should I just take this as a sign that she's not into being anything more than friends, or is she just hoping I will actually ask her out or something along those lines? I remember when I first talked to her at work she mentioned how when she thinks a guy likes her, she becomes less attracted to them. I'm weary of not showing too much that I'm into her but at the same time, how the hell else can I get her attention?
Onlyjonley Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 In the very beginning, I rarely will text a guy I'm "talking" to. No reason really. I just always have the mindset that if he is interested and/or wants to talk, he'll text me. It's kind of the dude's job to do the initial pursuing, IMO. call me old-fashioned. It definitely doesn't mean she isn't interested. Keep doing what you're doing; just texting every so often. But ask her if she wants to hang out sometime soon.
confused kitty Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 totally agree with Above comment!! At the start I never text or call a guy first, i dont know why because i constantly watch the phone waiting for him to make contact! I guess I just like to wait and see if hes thinking about me and its also nice to have the guy doing the chasing.. Having said that if she said she dislikes guys if she thinks they like her (well that doesnt make much sence to me) but defenitly advise that you dont come on too strong, let her know your interested but also keep her guessing for awhile and then suggest meeting for afew drinks and if she wants to call it a "date" well then thats her choice Good Luck
PJKino Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 In the very beginning, I rarely will text a guy I'm "talking" to. No reason really. I just always have the mindset that if he is interested and/or wants to talk, he'll text me. It's kind of the dude's job to do the initial pursuing, IMO. call me old-fashioned. It definitely doesn't mean she isn't interested. Keep doing what you're doing; just texting every so often. But ask her if she wants to hang out sometime soon. WHy is it only the mans job? we do have feelings and would also like to know if the person is interested in us at all as well
Author DenumChkn Posted October 20, 2011 Author Posted October 20, 2011 I agree with Kino, but also understand this is just how many women operate. If you are interested in the guy you should text or call him if he's been doing the same for you, because then we get a clear signal telling us to pursue you. You think 'meeting for a few drinks' is the best way to do it in the beginning, or should I ask her out to dinner or an activity like bowling or something? I'm curious girls, in the beginning, do you prefer to get to know a guy in groups when you're out with his/your friends, or alone just you two over dinner/drinks/activity?
ScreamingTrees Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 When she thinks a guy likes her, she becomes less attracted to them? Now that she knows you're attracted to her, she's still attracted to you? Why would the awareness of someone's attraction automatically be a turn off? I don't understand, this makes no sense to me.
ScreamingTrees Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 totally agree with Above comment!! At the start I never text or call a guy first, i dont know why because i constantly watch the phone waiting for him to make contact! I guess I just like to wait and see if hes thinking about me and its also nice to have the guy doing the chasing.. Having said that if she said she dislikes guys if she thinks they like her (well that doesnt make much sence to me) but defenitly advise that you dont come on too strong, let her know your interested but also keep her guessing for awhile and then suggest meeting for afew drinks and if she wants to call it a "date" well then thats her choice Good Luck Well, as a dude who takes things for what they are, I would simply think a girl wasn't interested in me but had too weak of a character to tell me it wouldn't work if she didn't take the initiative at all after a little while for simple things like calling here and there when we're not together. So you MIGHT be watching the phone, but if I didn't know you, unless I was hell of an optimistic person, why would I assume that if you hadn't shown any return of interest? I'd feel as though you were simply too weak to reject my advances in person so you humored me.
Author DenumChkn Posted October 20, 2011 Author Posted October 20, 2011 I agree ScreamingTrees, it seems counter-intuitive. I guess some girls just want to be chased more before they reciprocate. However, I don't know how as guys we are supposed to discern the type that likes to be chased from those who are not interested and just being cordial. If a girl is outright ignoring me or taking a really long time to respond to me, I take that as a sign of disinterest and cease all contact. Because this girl is still responding and showing interest in the conversation when I do text (asking me questions), I will continue to pursue her.
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