AltoidsCan Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 (edited) Hey guys, I have been in a relationship for little more than 5 months. For the first little while, we got close really fast as we found out we had a lot of things in common. (Our personality, background, degree.. etc) Before we knew it, we found us saying "I love u" and "I want to have my future with you" She was gorgeous, knew what she was doing at work and life, but she also had one major problem: bad temper. After we got comfortable, (we got comfortable really fast) there were times when she got angry at me for tedious reasons which I thought it was unfair but frequent short break-ups (I'll get to this later) led me to accept her for who she is because I thought I "loved" her. After 2-3 months, we started saying the love word to each other and I thought we both found someone to have a long term relationship and eventually marry. She is very talkative and sometimes she made me jealous and made me break up a few times but we talked it out just recently and she assured me that I was the only person she loved. So I trusted her by not getting jealous and I thought everything went well... Starting about 2 weeks ago, she wasn't too happy when she saw me. She smiled and behaved normally but I found some anger in her voice which she was and got angry at me very easily. Yesterday, she broke up with me, but not because she didnt like me. She wasn't comfortable anymore saying the "love" word because I am inexperienced and we both dont know what it means. She said she doesnt know how we got so comfortable with each other really fast which lead us to constantly fight for little things. She said she was constantly getting stressed because of this and she wasnt too happy with the relationship. (We werent like this during our first month) She also mentioned that I am too inexperienced in life for her. (I dont know different culture...etc. I am 2 years younger than her.) Before I dropped her off, she kissed me, held my hand and cried because she led me go. She said she wants us to be together but there was no way to solve our issue. I asked her to change her mind which worked last time but this time she wanted to be friends first and decide if we wanted to be together down the road. What would you do now? I am really confused. Now, I am completely demoralized that I lost her (I've earned it sometimes) and now all I want is to be together and go back to where we were during our first month.. (I mentioned this to her and she didnt say anything) For now, I have asked her to go NC so I can completely get her out of my life as a girlfriend but it's not working out great so far. (I miss her) Edited October 19, 2011 by AltoidsCan
smudge21 Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Look around here and one thing you'll notice is that NC is the hardest thing in the world to do when you love someone. For many, myself included, it's impossible to stay on without breaking at least once. But NC and time really are the only way to progress now. She clearly needs time apart too, to work out what she really wants. Maybe no contact between you both may bring you back together stronger, or it may make you both realise that it was never as strong as it first seemed. Who knows - try not to second guess anything and just take each day as it comes. You'll feel bad most days, but the good will start to creep in. As I said, no one knows what the future holds so only plan 24 hours in advance and don't start thinking that this will happen or that will happen. You don't know. Just work on what you do know - and that's yourself. Good luck and keep posting.
Author AltoidsCan Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 Look around here and one thing you'll notice is that NC is the hardest thing in the world to do when you love someone. For many, myself included, it's impossible to stay on without breaking at least once. But NC and time really are the only way to progress now. She clearly needs time apart too, to work out what she really wants. Maybe no contact between you both may bring you back together stronger, or it may make you both realise that it was never as strong as it first seemed. Who knows - try not to second guess anything and just take each day as it comes. You'll feel bad most days, but the good will start to creep in. As I said, no one knows what the future holds so only plan 24 hours in advance and don't start thinking that this will happen or that will happen. You don't know. Just work on what you do know - and that's yourself. Good luck and keep posting. Thanks for your generous reply. You dont know how much this means to me. I really hope this gets better because I havent been able to eat and sleep like I used to..
smudge21 Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Welcome to love's own version of weight lose! Amazing how it can stop us doing the most basic of things. It does get better, trust me on that, but you have to ride out the storm first. Take comfort in knowing that every single person who's posted in these threads has or is going through the exact same pain for the exact same reasons. In other words, you're not alone.
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