ImThinkingWTF Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Ive been seeing this guy for about two months. Everything is great, we see each other a few times a week and atleast one night during the weekend. We have not defined the relationship yet but, he refers to me as "his girl" to his friends. Last night, he wanted me to come spend the night. I told him that I couldnt but that he was more than welcome to come to my place or that I would come tomorrow. He said he would let me know something soon. Well, two hours pass by and I dont hear anything from him so I text him to see if hes coming or not. He says hes just going to stay home. For the past few weeks he hasnt been coming to my house like he was at first. Its normally me going there or us making plans for him to come here and then he changes it at the last minute. Heres where I think I messed up: Instead of just playing it cool I tell him that I feel like I am putting more effort into seeing him and he is to see me. He says hes sorry, hes been carpooling to work but that he will change that so that he can stay with me more. I respond with something along the lines of not wanting him to do something if he doesnt want to. And he says everything is fine, dont worry about it. My friend seems to think that his response was not very reassuring. I havent responded to his last text yet because I dont want to make a bigger mess out of things. Im TRYING to keep cool, calm and collected throughout the whole uncertain dating stage before/if things become serious. I feel like I showed my hand too quickly...I dont know. Should I just wait for him to contact me again or should I text him later ignoring the whole issue? I WOULD like for him to make more of an effort to come here but I am understanding and I know gas is expensive...which is why he has been carpooling....
Pasttense Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 "And he says everything is fine, dont worry about it." So don't worry about it. Text him later ignoring the whole issue. People are frequently not precise in their use of language; just look at the big picture.
WhiteChocolate Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 imo you are overthinking a lot. I think that you are becoming more invested in the relationship than you think he is. I understand that it can be VERY difficult to keep "calm, cool, and collected." But I don't understand what you mean by "showing your hand." Dating isn't a game...tell him what you want, see what he wants, and figure it out from there. Personally, I wouldn't text him again about it. But the next time you see him, I would bring it up, and guage his interest.
Imajerk17 Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 I would say to pretend it's not an issue when you text him, but the next time you are face-to-face, you need to have a conversation about this issue.
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