itteloc Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 So my girlfriend and I were talking last night about different things we liked and disliked about our ex's. Our conversation was heading in this direction anyway so I broke the ice and asked out of all the people you've slept with who was your favorite? She said "I don't want to answer that" I asked again and she said "I'm not with any of them now so obviously that says it all." I asked one final time jokingly and she said "I'm not answering that." So what I get from her answering is it's obviously not me lol. So we went to sleep pretty much after that and she asked me what was wrong saying I was being dry. She was kissing on me and trying to cuddle with me, etc. That was a bad topic to bring up? It's cool if I'm not her favorite in the sack. Honestly I'm not cocky but I know I'm pretty handsome guy. I've had my fair share of ladies and never any complaints just compliments when it comes to the sack lol. even when we first met it was all compliments from her and we had sex quite often and she really enjoyed it. The reason I was acting dry was because I thinking. What I was thinking was it seems as sometimes when we "do it" there's a lack of passion there lately. Sometimes it's very passionate like when we first met but more often than not it seems on her end that it's much less passionate. Which is a slight turn off to me since I'm a passionate guy. She was telling me a couple of her ex's eventually she didn't really enjoy/got tired of doing it with. I'm not an insecure guy but it was crossing my mind that maybe she kind of lost the flame with me and I fell in that category. It was an awkward convo and waking up this morning we didn't really talk about it.
SingleinSouth Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 She has really healthy boundaries! That was an AWFUL question to ask her and she had the exact right answer. If my bf asked me that, I would think he is fishing for complements and is insecure. I would say get over it, get confident and spark her interest and stop worrying about it. Above all, women (and men) like a confident partner.
ShannonMI Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 So my girlfriend and I were talking last night about different things we liked and disliked about our ex's. Our conversation was heading in this direction anyway so I broke the ice and asked out of all the people you've slept with who was your favorite? She said "I don't want to answer that" I asked again and she said "I'm not with any of them now so obviously that says it all." I asked one final time jokingly and she said "I'm not answering that." So what I get from her answering is it's obviously not me lol. So we went to sleep pretty much after that and she asked me what was wrong saying I was being dry. She was kissing on me and trying to cuddle with me, etc. That was a bad topic to bring up? It's cool if I'm not her favorite in the sack. Honestly I'm not cocky but I know I'm pretty handsome guy. I've had my fair share of ladies and never any complaints just compliments when it comes to the sack lol. even when we first met it was all compliments from her and we had sex quite often and she really enjoyed it. The reason I was acting dry was because I thinking. What I was thinking was it seems as sometimes when we "do it" there's a lack of passion there lately. Sometimes it's very passionate like when we first met but more often than not it seems on her end that it's much less passionate. Which is a slight turn off to me since I'm a passionate guy. She was telling me a couple of her ex's eventually she didn't really enjoy/got tired of doing it with. I'm not an insecure guy but it was crossing my mind that maybe she kind of lost the flame with me and I fell in that category. It was an awkward convo and waking up this morning we didn't really talk about it. First off.....DUMB question to ask your girlfriend. Did you want her to say "You are the best EVER big boy." Come on. I would hope being the confident, handsome man you say you are, you wouldn't be that desperate for an ego boast. Second.....passion tends to dwindle as the relationship goes on. It doesn't go out all together (or at least it shouldn't) but you won't be doing it like rabbits everyday like you did in the beginning. Its the natural progression of a long term relationship. To me it sounds like your girl has passion for you since she tried to cuddle and kiss you. But you were too preoccupied with the fact she didn't tell you you were her best lay. Maybe you are and maybe you aren't. Maybe she just doesn't want to say because she knows you are fishing for compliments and that is a turn off. It would be for me and if a guy asked me that, I'd probably be a smart @ss and say "oh my ex was actually the best." Even if it wasn't the case. Questions like that annoy girls. So try not to get so hung up on it and enjoy your girlfriend.
Eddie Edirol Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 The problem with your ex's complimenting you is this: If they dont encourage you saying sex was good, they risk your ego being hurt, and you might not try anymore, or dump them. So they HAVE to tell you how good you are. So if you sense that your g/f is less passionate with sex, she probably is. So dont worry about what she is doing, try to change your game up. Being handsome doesnt cover all your bases in the sack. If youre worried that she isnt getting hers off, ask her if she would like to try new things, and see what she comes up with. If she wont communicate that, then dont worry about it. If she doesnt want to help you get her off, its her loss. But if she doesnt want to communicate, be wary, its the start of her giving up on the relationship.
Cypress25 Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Why would you even entertain the notion of asking such a stupid question? That's a lose-lose situation for both of you because there's no good answer to that question. Not to mention, it's really inappropriate to ask her to play favorites among the men she's dated. Asking once is bad enough, but you asked repeatedly. Despite her clear objections and obvious discomfort. Were you trying to start a fight? In the future, if your girl says she doesn't want to answer a question, drop it. Don't keep pestering her. You come off as pushy and insecure when you do that. So my girlfriend and I were talking last night about different things we liked and disliked about our ex's. I don't think that's a good conversation to have with your SO. Talking about your exes like that is just asking for trouble. All it does is encourage you to compare each other to previous partners, and you shouldn't compare current relationships to past relationships. Besides, don't you think it's kind of horrible to gossip about people behind their back? I know I would feel terrible if my ex was telling his current girlfriend what he didn't like about me. I like to think that what happened between us will stay between us. Try to have some respect for your exes.
whichwayisup Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Our conversation was heading in this direction anyway so I broke the ice and asked out of all the people you've slept with who was your favorite? She said "I don't want to answer that" I asked again and she said "I'm not with any of them now so obviously that says it all." I asked one final time jokingly and she said "I'm not answering that." Hmm, you brought this on yourself. Plus, you kept pushing her over and over again. There are some questions not to ask, and now you know! I mean, what if she had asked you? it's just an uncomfortable position to put someone in. the past IS the past!
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