Zaphod B Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Hi, this is more of a rant to get things off my chest really. People here have given some good advice, but I'm still struggling. Basically my story is I met a woman. We were in a relationship for just over a month, but I put her on a pedistal and fell in love with her very quickly. She then broke up with me because she was convinced I had been trying to keep other female friends behind her back. It wasn't true, but she wouldn't listen to anything I said and just cut me off and refused any contact with me at all. I took it very hard though because I'd painted her as the woman of my dreams and thought she was perfect for me. That was well over a year and a half ago and I still lament regulary over losing her. Very few days go by where I don't think about her and wish I had her back. I know she is not worthy and I try to remind myself of the terrible person she is. But what's not helping is that lately she is popping up all over the place. I live in one of the biggest cities in New Zealand, which is actually pretty small compared to many big cities. Pop 143,000. Still I can go for ever without meeting people I know, yet this damn woman has been turning up regularly in the last couple of months! She keeps reappearing on the dating sites, then disappears a few weeks later. Her profile always appears in my matches every time she livens it back up. What's worse is that her cousin lives just around the corner from my place. Her car has been there four times in the last three months the odd time I have walked past (which is probably once every two weeks at the most.) Three of those times she was climbing into the car to leave and so saw me. THREE TIMES! At the exact moment I happened to be walking by. One of those three times she'd actually did a uturn and stopped in the median strip to give way to traffic and she sat there for about 5 seconds just staring at me as I walked along the pavement. Worst of all, tonight, I go to a bar I haven't been at for a while for Karaoke. She turns up there with some guy! One of my favourite bars. She acknowledges me with kind of a smile and then goes out back. She occassionaly glances in at me, but most of the time she's all laughing and happy seeming to be enjoying herself. I had been dreading something like this. Fortuntately it didn't feel quite as bad as I thought it would seeing her in that bar, but it did really suck and kind of screwed up my evening. I hung around for another half an hour, sang one more song, but couldn't stay around any longer than that. Not knowing she was there. It seemed it didn't bother her that I was there, although she didn't come into the main bar, except to go through to the toilet. Out of all the bars she had to go to, it had to be that one. And she seemed to know other people there too. So now I'm afraid to go back there again in case I see her there again. Sigh. I feel like a pathetic idiot, but this has kind of buggered up my night. I was feeling like I was slowly getting over her, but seeing her so many times in the last couple of months doesn't help and every time I see her or her car it just messes with my head. The only good thing was that she had packed on a bit of weight. She'd gone from the perfect figure to a fair bit of fat around the butt and waist. I guess that's one big thing that will help... at least I hope so. It takes away some of that perfection I had of her in my mind. Anyway, that's me done. I really don't know what anyone can say to help, but thanks for reading.
Author Zaphod B Posted February 1, 2012 Author Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) Couldn't resist logging in to do an update. Have met a woman. Beautiful, sweet, awesome woman. Things are going so well. But it seems I am just not able to escape my ex! LOL. Just found out last weekend that my new lady knows her! Worst of all, my ex is a good friend of her best friend! So no doubt I'll be running into my ex a lot more. Fortunately I'm not hung up on her anymore. And best of all I've heard some things about her that brought a smile to my face and actually made me feel a lot better about the whole break up. My new gf thinks she is a little screwed up in the head. Apparently my ex was dating a guy and dropped him one day because he was too scared to pick up a live chicken. That was the sort of woman I was dealing with all along. A woman who has unrealistic ideas about what a man should be and if he doesn't live up to them, 100%, she just drops him like he's yesterday's garbage with no remorse. It convinces me more and more that she will never find what she is looking for. Apparently this is typical of her behaviour when it comes to men. She seems to want a macho, guy who's cold hearted and insensitive to everyone except for her. I was just another one if the unlucky ones who got caught in her web. In some ways I'm looking forward to seeing her again. I want her to see me happy with my new lady, to realise she was wrong about me and learn exactly what she threw away so heartlessly 2 years ago. Edited February 1, 2012 by Zaphod B
esteem-jam Posted February 1, 2012 Posted February 1, 2012 Hey, I remember your story. Its cool you can have a laugh now about this situation, and you seem to be on the same wave with that new Lady- at least you can have a laugh about certain somebody together ;p
Author Zaphod B Posted February 1, 2012 Author Posted February 1, 2012 Thanks! Yeah, it's been great and myself and my new lady seem to be on the same page about everthing. Very in tune. I'm loving it.
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