thtgrl_1970 Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 My live-in bf of 2 years just abandoned me. Left without any conversation. I spent the summer caring for his kids, I gave everything to him. I want closure. He is avoiding me, I'm not pushing it, but his leaving the house is taking forever and he is sending me texts like we are casual friends. It's making me crazy. I want closure. I was going to send him this: XXXX, I'm going to vent, and I don't want any response. I just want to get some things off my chest. I need clusre and I know that I am the only one who can do that for me. I have to go through the stages of grief and deal with this pain. I can only do that when you are gone. Maybe you are over it and can send text messages like all is good. But I'm not. I look at my phone all day out of habit....I'm used to getting texts all day long from the man who loved me. I can't have any illusions that you are going to realize it was a mistake. So, I need you to be gone. Not sure what was going on this weekend that you could just take like one load a day, but that was really hurtful to me. Especially since I was gone all day Saturday to be out of your way. I don't want any reasons or excuses. I just want you to be where you want to be: out of my life. Please get the rest of your stuff, empty the basement, and delete me from your phone. Ok? This was not a healthy breakup. It was an abandonment, I feel. You were dishonest with me saying the relationship was worth much more to you than it was, that you were willing to do whatever it took to fix things. Not sure why you would say that if your love was SO conditional. Anyway, I think I deserve to be done with this. I want that kind of closure. Please don't respond with reasons or excuses. I don't want a response. I just want to release. I think I deserve that. Please leave me any keys that you have including my car key. Maybe someday, we'll run into each other and be able to talk. But for now, I can't be friends with someone who could treat me this way. I thought we were best friends. You were mine. Friends have bad times and work through it. We had some bad times, but I was excited about the opportunity to become closer. Silly me. It was good, a learning experience to be sure. But it's over now. OVER. I have to keep telling myself that. Painful, but I am working really hard on acceptance. All the best to you. Is that useless? The truth is that I WANT to know that it is OVER. I really, truly do want closure. Suggestions? [FONT=arial, helvetica, sans-serif][COLOR=#0000ff][/COLOR][/FONT]
wilsonx Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Thats too many words, PUSH it. You end it yourself and kick him to the curb. What type of closure are you looking for? If you think its over, consider it over and start cutting ties
mike111 Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Is that useless? The truth is that I WANT to know that it is OVER. I really, truly do want closure. Suggestions? The letter looks good. I hope he will listen to you. He might had still been hanging onto you out of some sort of need. But still, this was/is not fair to you at all. mike
Author thtgrl_1970 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 Yes, I see that "closure" is misspelled.
Author thtgrl_1970 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 I'm going to vent, and I don't want any response. I just want to get some things off my chest. I need closure and I know that I am the only one who can do that for me. I have to go through the stages of grief and deal with this pain. I can only do that when you are gone. Maybe you are over it and can send text messages like all is good. But I'm not. I can't have any illusions that you are going to realize it was a mistake. So, I need you to be gone. Not sure what was going on this weekend that you could just take like one load a day, but that was really hurtful to me. Especially since I was gone all day Saturday to be out of your way. I don't want any reasons or excuses. I just want you to be where you want to be: out of my life. Please get the rest of your stuff, empty the basement, and delete me from your phone. Ok? This was not a healthy breakup. It was an abandonment, I feel. You were dishonest with me saying the relationship was worth much more to you than it was, that you were willing to do whatever it took to fix things. Not sure why you would say that if your love was SO conditional. I don't want a response. I just want to release. I think I deserve that. Please leave me any keys that you have including my car key. Maybe someday, we'll run into each other and be able to talk. I thought we were best friends. You were mine. Friends have bad times and work through it. We had some bad times, but I was excited about the opportunity to become closer. It was good, a learning experience to be sure. But it's over now. OVER. I have to keep telling myself that. Painful, but I am working really hard on acceptance.
EgoJoe Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Click on my name and look for threads started by EgoJoe. Find, "Push for closure or find it myself?" then find "I Broke NC it was good and bad."
Author thtgrl_1970 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 I went thru 12 of your 20 pages and don't see it. Thanks anyway.
2sure Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Its perfect. Its honest. Its healthy. And its right. He has behaved cowardly and atrociously. One load of stuff at a time is like a slow death. Do not allow him that. You have chosen a mature and lady like way to say: To the Left.
shayla Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 I don't know if you will ever get the answers you seek, and I hope that in time that will not cause you too much more distress. most of us have to find our own closure, unfortunately. I would not send him anything besides what needs to be said. Basically that he made his choice and he needs to leave all his keys and uh...get gone.
Author thtgrl_1970 Posted October 20, 2011 Author Posted October 20, 2011 I SERIOUSLY don't want him to respond. Did you read where I said twice that I DON"T want him to respond? I want to say these things, get him out of my life. I KNOW that only I can get closure, but by telling him these things, I think it will help. We'll see. I sent it today. He is coming tonight supposedly for his last load.
wilsonx Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 How is that letter going to help? You are trying to change him or effect change in him which will not happen. If you want closure you need to find it within you, not by sending him the letter. You already did it but keep a copy of it for yourself. When the time is right, read to a friend and really mean it, then surrender to it and there is your closure. I will put money down that he does not get all his stuff. He is going to leave you something as a string... watch
joseph17 Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Get his stuff and throw it out the door. Then call im and tell him to come get his stuff. Why should you do him any favors? He abandoned you right? Then when he comes over tell him to loose your number your done. Then he hears it out of your mouth and that is closure. Don't be nice to him if he abandoned you kiss his ass to the curb.
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