i am so angry, but really do i have a reason to be? Drug use..how do i handle this?

[momto3boys]

My husband and i separated a month and a half ago. I thought he had PTSD, which i still think he does. They did diagnose him with it a while ago but he since then has been been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety (which goes along with ptsd) from being deployed to Afghanistan.

 

Anyways the separation has been bad. Things have sort of spiraled out of control. I have lost all respect for my ex. i have up until this point hoped things would work themselves out. He joined dating websites as soon as he said he wanted a divorce before i was even moved out of the house, while i was 8 months pregnant (im 9 months pregnant now, due anytime now). He kicked me out of our house (i have one son from a previous relationship but my husband has been involved since my son was a year old. and my husband and i have a son together and another son coming anytime now like i said). Anyways things have been hot and cold between us since ive moved out (about 3 weeks ago i moved 6 hours away). Since i left he has done nothing but party....

 

 

 

Well today i found out he joined an army substance abuse class. He told me, i dunno why he told me, but he did. He said it isnt going to work. I asked him what he is abusing he said he's been smoking weed and doing cocaine. My husband has smoked weed in the past but hasnt since we have been together because of the army (i guess now he doesnt care if he gets kicked out or not because the army does random drug tests). Anyways, i am beyond pissed that he is doing drugs now. I grew up in a drug/alcholic house hold and i had a horrible childhood. I told him i felt betrayed. He couldnt even pay me the full amount of child support for our son because he said he didnt have the money, which makes sense now because he is spending it on drugs. He told me i had no rights what so ever to get angry with him we arent together. He told me his mom talked him into the substance abuse class, which pisses me off even more because his mom has never been there for him. She contacted him twice while he was in Afghanistan and once it was a really nasty email. She tried to split us up and everything. My ex was hesitant to tell me he had been on drugs because he said id use it against him. I have NEVER tried to screw him over OR used anything against him or threaten him legally with anything. He has done that to me tho, he has tried to record me cussing at him (which i am guilty of but on the video it was me going off on him about being on a dating website 2 days after telling me he wants a divorce). He has threatened to file for temporary custody of our son (i have never done that, i have always allowed him to take him when he is in our home state). I have even offered to let him be in the delivery room when i give birth.

 

i am so enraged right now. I do NOT want him taking our son when he comes up, but i am afraid if i dont allow him to then he will file for temporary custody of our son before i do. I have not filed for anything legally yet because i am due anytime now and i will have to refile for this baby. I have also decided i dont even want him in the delivery room or at the hospital or even in the same state when i have this baby. He will come up here, party and it wont be about seeing the baby, it will be about partying and taking our son to his moms house. I just hate him so much right now. What would be the best way to handle this? i have already went off on him once. He said he doesnt need me on his back about this. But someones gotta be on his back about it, he's being stupid and irresponsible. I have all the responsability of the kids because he wont grow up.

 

A part of me wants to just go off on him again, but then another part of me wants to just wash my hands of him and be done and never speak to him again. how should i handle this? We do have child together and about to have another one. I am just so hurt and angry and feel so betrayed. But now everything makes sense. This whole time he made me think it was me.....

[robf1971]

My husband and i separated a month and a half ago. I thought he had PTSD, which i still think he does. They did diagnose him with it a while ago but he since then has been been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety (which goes along with ptsd) from being deployed to Afghanistan.

 

Anyways the separation has been bad. Things have sort of spiraled out of control. I have lost all respect for my ex. i have up until this point hoped things would work themselves out. He joined dating websites as soon as he said he wanted a divorce before i was even moved out of the house, while i was 8 months pregnant (im 9 months pregnant now, due anytime now). He kicked me out of our house (i have one son from a previous relationship but my husband has been involved since my son was a year old. and my husband and i have a son together and another son coming anytime now like i said). Anyways things have been hot and cold between us since ive moved out (about 3 weeks ago i moved 6 hours away). Since i left he has done nothing but party....

 

 

 

Well today i found out he joined an army substance abuse class. He told me, i dunno why he told me, but he did. He said it isnt going to work. I asked him what he is abusing he said he's been smoking weed and doing cocaine. My husband has smoked weed in the past but hasnt since we have been together because of the army (i guess now he doesnt care if he gets kicked out or not because the army does random drug tests). Anyways, i am beyond pissed that he is doing drugs now. I grew up in a drug/alcholic house hold and i had a horrible childhood. I told him i felt betrayed. He couldnt even pay me the full amount of child support for our son because he said he didnt have the money, which makes sense now because he is spending it on drugs. He told me i had no rights what so ever to get angry with him we arent together. He told me his mom talked him into the substance abuse class, which pisses me off even more because his mom has never been there for him. She contacted him twice while he was in Afghanistan and once it was a really nasty email. She tried to split us up and everything. My ex was hesitant to tell me he had been on drugs because he said id use it against him. I have NEVER tried to screw him over OR used anything against him or threaten him legally with anything. He has done that to me tho, he has tried to record me cussing at him (which i am guilty of but on the video it was me going off on him about being on a dating website 2 days after telling me he wants a divorce). He has threatened to file for temporary custody of our son (i have never done that, i have always allowed him to take him when he is in our home state). I have even offered to let him be in the delivery room when i give birth.

 

i am so enraged right now. I do NOT want him taking our son when he comes up, but i am afraid if i dont allow him to then he will file for temporary custody of our son before i do. I have not filed for anything legally yet because i am due anytime now and i will have to refile for this baby. I have also decided i dont even want him in the delivery room or at the hospital or even in the same state when i have this baby. He will come up here, party and it wont be about seeing the baby, it will be about partying and taking our son to his moms house. I just hate him so much right now. What would be the best way to handle this? i have already went off on him once. He said he doesnt need me on his back about this. But someones gotta be on his back about it, he's being stupid and irresponsible. I have all the responsability of the kids because he wont grow up.

 

A part of me wants to just go off on him again, but then another part of me wants to just wash my hands of him and be done and never speak to him again. how should i handle this? We do have child together and about to have another one. I am just so hurt and angry and feel so betrayed. But now everything makes sense. This whole time he made me think it was me.....

 

It shouldn't make a blind bit of difference, it's just a p*ss poor excuse for adult bad behaviour. Actions speak louder than words, no words from you, just lawyer up , protect yourself, wash your hands of this POS.

 

By the way I believe that a man who does that to his pregnant wife should be locked up in prison and the key thrown away.