Kaplan Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 This has been bugging me for years. I've noticed lot's of women don't like to be asked for input about what to do. One classic example is if you ask, "Where would you like to go for dinner?" Many women will get angry and say, "Why the hell do I have to choose?" instead of just saying,"I don't know," or, "I don't care," "why don't you choose," etc. This isn't just true of dinner, but of any activity. And this is true of friends as well as dates. Are women the same way with each other? If I'm going to dinner with a guy friend who honestly doesn't have an opinion the conversation goes like this: "Where should we go?" "I don't have an opinion." "Ok. Want to go to such-and-such a place?" "Sure." This is how people decide what to do with other people. Sometimes I feel like women don't want to be treated like people, like equals. It irritates me. I don't want to say, "Look b!tch, we're going to the Ram and I'm going to order you a steak!" I think women are just paranoid about men not asserting their ideas and opinions or something, and then actively seek for evidence that men are doing that. Can anyone provide any insight into why women are like this?
alphamale Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 dude, you are the MAN - you make the decisions. women love it. it shows creativity and initiative and women can tell a lot by the decisions you make on your own with no assistance.... ideally you should be making the decisions 80% of the time and leave the rest to her.
Author Kaplan Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 I know they say that. But I refuse to believe that women can't just be treated like normal human beings.
alphamale Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 I know they say that. But I refuse to believe that women can't just be treated like normal human beings. women are not normal
WhiteChocolate Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 I find it really rude for any human being to say, "Why the hell do I have to choose?" when asked a simple question. Just answer the dayum question! So I don't understand it either, if that was said to you. None of my friends/acquaintances and I would ever say something like that. And if someone said that to me, I would mark them as ill-bred or, if I'm feeling forgiving, that they are having a terrible day and just want to btch about everything.
FitChick Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 The OP should have asked: Why don't some women like to be asked what they'd like to do?
OneFootOut Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 This has been bugging me for years. I've noticed lot's of women don't like to be asked for input about what to do. One classic example is if you ask, "Where would you like to go for dinner?" Many women will get angry and say, "Why the hell do I have to choose?" instead of just saying,"I don't know," or, "I don't care," "why don't you choose," etc. This isn't just true of dinner, but of any activity. And this is true of friends as well as dates. Are women the same way with each other? If I'm going to dinner with a guy friend who honestly doesn't have an opinion the conversation goes like this: "Where should we go?" "I don't have an opinion." "Ok. Want to go to such-and-such a place?" "Sure." This is how people decide what to do with other people. Sometimes I feel like women don't want to be treated like people, like equals. It irritates me. I don't want to say, "Look b!tch, we're going to the Ram and I'm going to order you a steak!" I think women are just paranoid about men not asserting their ideas and opinions or something, and then actively seek for evidence that men are doing that. Can anyone provide any insight into why women are like this? Personally, if a man asks me out, it would be awesome if he already had a plan. He would hopefully know me well enough by then to know what I liked or didn't like. More often than not, if he asks and I make suggestion, he just shoots it down and goes somewhere else anyway lol. Why not him pick the place the first time and make it a fun deal that she makes the choice next time? Fair enough
fishtaco Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Yeah, I think it's lame. But I know that's just the way it is. So I play by the rules. Especially when you are at the dating phase and you're putting your best foot forward, part of the dog and pony show you have to put up is to always be prepared. Granted, not all women are like that. But always have a suggestion, and ideally a few more, ready at your disposal. You have to be the person to make the initial suggestion, then you see what they say. It's a bit more work but then you cover all of your bases. You please the type of woman that want men to take charge, and if you meet someone that's more free thinking and independent, you're just throwing out a suggestion.
Eddie Edirol Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 I know they say that. But I refuse to believe that women can't just be treated like normal human beings. Thats normal to many women. They dont want to be equal, they want you to be in charge so they can feel protected. Some of them are mentally lazy and dont want to think when they are with their man, they just want to be shown a good time. Its how the biological chemistry works. Women like to be swept off their feet, so taking the reigns is part of that. Its a turnoff to them if you cant assert your own ideas 80% of the time. A lot of women dont have a problem choosing if asked, but they dont want to make ALL the decisions either.
alphamale Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 "A man who make no decisions also get no pussy..." -Confucius 512 BC
tradewinds Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Women want a guy to lead. I don't think most women even know it and fewer men do. Ultimately, they want someone who can protect them. If you are always asking questions about what to eat, where to go or what to do, you are a follower and not a leader. Women instinctively want a leader. Be the Alpha male. Say "let's go to dinner at X." if she apposes, tell her you really like x there. If she really doesn't want to then give in a little and say that you feel like eating x type of food and she could recommend a place. make sure that you stress how much you like the other place and if you give in this time, she must go there in the future. Not saying to be a jerk or bossy, just be in charge.
musemaj11 Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 If you want to be good with women, watch "The Dog Whisperer".
Author Kaplan Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 FitChick, I actually did word it that way when I first tried to make the thread, but the window crashed. When I say that they say, "Why the hell do I have to choose," I'm adding the "hell." They usually just ask indignantly or make some comment. Asking her what she'd like to do doesn't make you a follower. It just shows that you're not selfish. And making a decision without her input just so she'll think you're an "alpha male" (which is a stupid term, by the way) doesn't make you a leader. It just means you're insincere and manipulative. And you're not asking the other person to choose by asking for their input. No, I think you guys might be right about all the hackneyed "alpha male" crap. It just irritates me to think that so many women would rather be manipulated than just be real and sincere. Personally I think it's stupid, and I'd rather be unattractive to women then act like that. Luckily I'm handsome so it doesn't matter. I refuse to think of or treat women as anything other than people.
USMCHokie Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 It's laziness and passivity. It's no different from a guy who is passive and expects the woman to make all the moves. I for one am guilty of that...laziness combined with a healthy dose of fear and insecurity... It's just that society and gender roles have made it acceptable for women to do it, while it's seen as weakness for a man. Tis what it is...
Star Gazer Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 (edited) Women love a man with a plan. In the first handful of dates, I don't want him to ask me where I'd like to go. Instead, in getting to know me, he should be able to come up with some ideas of what I'd like. For example, I may have mentioned that I love Italian food, and like to go goofy active things. In asking me out, he should suggest an Italian place, and then an activity, maybe bowling. And during that date at the Italian restaurant, maybe I mention how I recently tried kayaking and totally love it. So the next time he asks me out, perhaps for a day date, suggesting kayaking would be a great idea. You follow? A woman will tell you exactly what she wants... but she doesn't want to have to be asked. She wants you to PAY ATTENTION. Edited October 19, 2011 by Star Gazer
jean2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 its ridiculous to have such a drastic reaction to a simple question. i personally never have an opinion on where to go, and its mostly because im a people pleaser. id rather go somewhere where everyone will be happy than go where i want to go. demanding where we go seems so selfish to me. it could also be insecurity. other girls sometimes dont want to be judged about where they want to go, what they want to do. mostly because they're afraid that you wont like it, will think its weird, or disagree.
Content Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Women who demand a Man plan or do everyhting are not for me and most likely have some daddy issues from the past Im looking for a partner not a child to lead and tell what to do and when to do it
Mrlonelyone Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Because of ideas about gender roles our society expects. Others have said it. A certain percentage of the female population... at most half... have always hid behind the "I'm just a girl I don't know anything. Decisions are for boys tee hee hee hee". That way if they don't like whatever it is it's your fault not theirs. No responsibility for their own enjoyment. If you choose some place they don't like that can be another thing for them to use against you. I could go on . The above women also are more likley to put up with various kinds of abuse.* The other half of the female population has no problem with making the decisions, or making joint decisions with a man those women. If they existed then we would never have female politicians. i.e. Indira Ghandi, Benazir Bhutto, Margaret Thatcher, Queen Elizabeth I, QE II, Queen Victoria, Cleopatresa, Hatshaptsut, umm Ul moemeen Aisha bint abu Bakr, Pocahontas, Marie Curie, Mileva Maric-Einstein. I can go on. TL;DR: If a woman reacts that way to being asked what she would like to do just forget her. You don't seem to want that in a woman. Don't let anyone tell you ALL women are that way that's provably BS.
Star Gazer Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 i personally never have an opinion on where to go, and its mostly because im a people pleaser. And that makes you better than someone who merely has preferences? demanding where we go seems so selfish to me. Did the OP say anything about demanding where to go? From either side??
Mrlonelyone Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Could those who say "he should just know what I would like to do" please explain to me how? As I understand the paradigm, ideal of modern dating. You meet a man out somewhere and give him your number, or you meet on a dating website. You know a name, and some basic info. Then you go on a first date. Where/when is he supposed to get to know what you would like?
SammyLovex3 Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 I don't mind being asked, but I never know. I don't get irritated about it and start being rude, though. I just say it doesn't matter to me, or that I'm craving chicken right now, so someplace with really good chicken. I guess it's because I don't want to pick someplace and having the guy hate it. Trying to avoid weird situations, I suppose.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 alphamale is spot on. You want a guy who knows how to show you a good time. Of course you could do it yourself. It's not that hard. But can he do it? Stand back and give him a chance to show you what he can do. The courtship phase is all about the man proving that he is worthy of getting with the woman. Now, once he gets with her, the tables turn and she has to keep his attention. This is not easy. But showing a woman a good time is what the most appealing men do up front.
somedude81 Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Still it would be nice if every now and then a woman tells you what she would like to do.
thatone Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 (edited) alphamale is spot on. You want a guy who knows how to show you a good time. Of course you could do it yourself. It's not that hard. But can he do it? Stand back and give him a chance to show you what he can do. The courtship phase is all about the man proving that he is worthy of getting with the woman. Now, once he gets with her, the tables turn and she has to keep his attention. This is not easy. But showing a woman a good time is what the most appealing men do up front. which is why those women are single. you can't claim strong/independent on one hand and then have no opinion on the other. it's a contradictory position. lacking the confidence to state likes, dislikes, opinions, and preferences or sense of being entitled to male attention? either one is red flag #1. Edited October 19, 2011 by thatone
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