Extreme jealousy after break up

[Mandy175]

Okay, so this may be slightly long and odd, but I wanted to provide the full story so proper judgements can be made, so please hang in there if you think you can relate. So I went out with this guy for just under a year and a half, we were very happy throughout the course of our relationship, though towards the end we began to fizzle out; probably just due to lack of spontaneity and, although I'm ashamed to say it- boredom. The break-up was definitely from my own accord, as he had always been the more keen "whipped" one in the relationship. I knew he wasn't emotionally stable enough at this time to be dropped full stop, as he had no one else to confide in, so we agreed to stay good friends. The negative side of this that after so long of being BF and GF we didn't quite know how to act as anything different, and we begun to act as though we were together but without the label. As soon as I realised this was happening and I realised how much harder it would be for us both to get over each other, I put a stop to it and we agreed to have some time apart. Though after a month or so we began talking regularly again, this time though we kept it just as friends. Confiding in each other about our recent hook-ups etc.. At first I felt no jealousy at all about hearing the girls he was interested in. We even went to a party together and I watched him flirting and dancing with other girls, and I still felt no jealousy, I actually felt proud of him as he'd always struggled with talking to girls. I was 100% happy with how our break up had turned out. This was until his school formal/ball. He invited me as a friend, a lot of girls from my own school were also attending so I knew it wouldn't be awkward. The next day when we were talking about the night he admitted that he had a huge crush on one of my friends that I had introduced him to. Again- I felt no jealousy. I laughed and teased him about it, and it was me that added her on face book for him and told him what to say to her on chat because he was too scared to make a move. I didn't start to get jealous of them until he stopped texting me, or if he did it was always about my friend, like what to say to her, where he should take her on a date etc.. At first I didn't mind that much but it annoyed me that if I tried to change the conversation topic, he just wouldn't reply. Or he would somehow make it about her- "what's up?" "just thinking about how amazing ***** is". I would try and control this jealousy, but I just couldn't help it, and soon it started turning into rage. I began starting to have huge urges of anger towards my friend, even though I know she hasn't really done anything wrong. I began to get confrontational with my ex, accusing him never caring about me. I know I sound like crazy bitch, and I probably am, but I just can't help it I regret it as soon as I say things like that. So I guess what I'm wanting to know is HOW DO I GET THIS TO STOP!! Also, why is this happening. I don't like the mean, angry person I'm turning into All of the advice I've read so far just says to cut off all ties with them, and to find someone else. The only problem is that his new girl is one of my friends at school, and all of his friends are good friends with my friends as well. So it seems impossible to cut off all ties, and I certainly do not feel attractive or stable enough at the moment to find someone else. I'm starting to regret ever breaking up with him, even though I know it was right thing to do. I know I sound like a psycho bitch, but please give any advice if you've got any, thanks all

[Unrequitedlove]

This is an odd situation. I am sure that your jealousy stems from having a bruised ego. I mean, come on! Who wouldn't be jealous if an ex was gushing about someone else being so perfect to them, regardless of whether they're our friend or not! I'd recommend that you stop being the middle man in the equation. He is your ex. You haven't mentioned having any deep feelings involved after the break-up, but if you really feel like him moving on is going to hurt you, you must start NC.