Boy i feel FOOLISH

[tomm]

HI

i'll give a brief history here since i don't post much .

I moved to this small town [from a big city] about 8 yrs ago .got a job ,met a co-worker we hit it off as friends [ she was going through a seperation] . we remained friends for 2 yrs THEN her divorce was finalized

[reason for divorce her husband cheatted] .she has 2 teenage sons .we started ''seeing'' each other.A month or so later we saw we got along we were datting exclusively .good relationship didn't argue,no lies to each other,openly talked about everything .WE fell in love big time .Always calling each other when we weren't together ,shopping together,etc. I met her parents she told them she was ''crazy about me'' [she's told my friends that also ] AND how she could never hurt nor think of hurting me etc.

X-MAS 2 yrs later i gave her a ring NOT an engaement ring BUT a promise ring like i promise not to hurt you , cheat on you,lie to you,be their for you .TOTAL we datted for 4 yrs knew each other for 2 yrs prior .

MAY of this yr .she comes over my place makes dinner we sit and eat have general conversation ,i go return something to a neighbor .come back in she's gone .I see her going to her car i figure she left something in the car ,i start cleaning up .i come across a small jewelery box on my counter.inside is all the jewelery i've given her over the 4 yrs. i'm puzzled,confused,saddend. she doesn't come back in ,i call her no answer.i call the next day no answer.I decide to just go to her place ,she's sitting on her back deck .i ask ''what's going on?" i get ''oh nothing '' THEN ''listen i love you BUT not in love with you anymore'' ,''it's NOT you it's me'' ,YOU did absolutly nothing wrong'', ''we're not a couple anymore,i'm NOT your ggirl-friend'' . i'm CRUSHED i leave go home . go full ''no contact'' 2-weeks later i get a missed call on my cell from her,i call back .she just want's to see how i'm doing [how the hell do you think i'm doing] I don't want to hurt you [she says] i consider you a ''friend'' actually a ''dear friend''

I'M in a kind of shock .i try to move on .we start ''low contact'' it goes o.k. ,she says we're ''friends'' , i sat i don't feel or see that we're friends'' .

I run into her ina super market ,we say hi etc .we start talking more via phone.it goes o.k. to good.ONE day i see her car someone else is driving it [t's a guy]it hurts me seeing that. next convo i tell her what i saw she says ''i probably saw her friend driving her car cause she has car issues'' I don't buy that but say ahh o.k. .WE start having long conversations at night TALK of ''reconciliation'' are mentioned .she says ''never know what the future holds'' ,''sometimes people split up for yrs THEN get back together'' i say '' could happen sure BUT don't know'' .we keep talking at night ,i still get no reason why she walked me except she was confused'' i tell her ''i really loved you'' ,i ''was trying to be their for you'' ''wanted US to work'' she said ''she knew and saw all that''

i even ask ''look if your with someone just let me know ,and i wont waste your time etc'' she says ''don't be silly i have 2 teenage kids,a full time job when do i have time to see anyone'' .2 days later i find out she is datting someone for a FACT , and she has been .it's someone i know .AND she had to have gotten together or his info or him her info while we were together .

I just feel really foolish and like an idiot telling her i ''loved her'' , ''missed her'' etc while she's with someother guy and swearing to me she's not

[Chi townD]

Straight up NC from this point out dude! No phone calls no texts and no e-mails. Delete and block from facebook. If she tries to contact you DON'T RESPOND!!!! Post here instead. Why you you want to respond anyways? To hear more lies?

 

Time to heal and move on. you're not her friend and she's not yours. She did you wrong...BIG TIME and is not worthy of your friendship or even your love. Hang in there and post as often as you like to get you through this!

[tomm]

well their is absolutly no contact between us [for about thee last 2 weeks] THOUGH honestly time to time i call her NOT to talk etc. BUT to let her know i'm not stupid , and i know what i know for a fact AND to thank her and tell her to have a nice life.she sees my name on her phone and doesn't pick up [no surprise to me] BUT we are in a kind of small town ,so i know i'll run into her somewhere at some point

SHE knows i know for sure because one evening while driving home i was stopped at the light [in the turning lane] AND who is in the car right next to me ? my ex and the guy i know [and this was after she denied to me she even knew the guy] they did both see me [i made it a point they did ] i waved and said hi , looked at her shook my head and drove off

EVER since that night theirs been no contact .

IF telling her what i want to [when i run into her at somepoint] gonna make me feel better or not doesn't even matter to me ,I just want her to know i aint stupid .i guess just for my own piece of mid however she's gonna feel after i say what i say is totally irrevelant AND if i run into him [which i'm sure i will ] i'll just say hi how's dawn IF he wants to say or start anything with me after that it's up to him AND yea he knew we were together BUT i am way more up-set at her ,i'm like everyone else here and in the world i don't like to be lied to , and i don't like when someone tries to treat me as an idiot .

[Sugarkane]

The lines "never know what the future holds" and "sometimes people split up and get back together years later" are all BS. She is stringing you along, probably to make you the fallback guy,in case this new relationship doesn't work out.