cdm369 Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Last night my fiance steps outside to make a call. 5 minutes later I go out and she starts acting really secretive and promptly ends the call. Now all the sudden she is going to work in the morning 2 hours earlier for training. Well....she wasn't at work...and when I confronted her about it she supposedly went walking with a friend. She lied to me about where she was and what she was doing. And I now have to trust her walking story. She said she was testing me to see if I trust her. She has lots of guy co worker friends and they talk and text...then you add all this testing in...what does she expect.
azsinglegal Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 "Testing you to see if you trust her" ? More like, "testing you to see if she'll get caught cheating"
Scarlett513 Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Let's assume that your fiancé actually was on a walk with a friend (which sounds fishy as far as I'm concerned). This "testing" business is totally out of line. How would she feel if you started testing her on things? Especially so far into the relationship that you are getting married! She shouldn't be testing you - you just don't go around trying to trick the person you love into failing some kind of test. It's bizarre and I think it says something about the type of person you're dealing with. I'd take some time to seriously think about this marriage.
Pasttense Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 I wouldn't marry her until I was sure I trusted her. There can be reasonable explanations for lots of odd behavior. For example suppose she was setting up a birthday surprise for you. Wouldn't you expect her to "start acting really secretive and promptly end the call" when you come out? I think your priority focus should be on how she treats you: frequent, great sex; cooking great meals, chearing you up when you are in the dumps, coming over to clean your house, etc, etc, etc. If you are no longer number one for her, then her behavior towards you will change.
whichwayisup Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Last night my fiance steps outside to make a call. 5 minutes later I go out and she starts acting really secretive and promptly ends the call. Now all the sudden she is going to work in the morning 2 hours earlier for training. Well....she wasn't at work...and when I confronted her about it she supposedly went walking with a friend. She lied to me about where she was and what she was doing. And I now have to trust her walking story. She said she was testing me to see if I trust her. She has lots of guy co worker friends and they talk and text...then you add all this testing in...what does she expect. Hmm, she's testing you,, aka throwing this back on you to make YOU the bad guy even though you've done nothing wrong. RED FLAG. Your gut is telling you something is off here, so listen to it. Make it perfectly clear to her that whatever she's doing behind your back stops IMMEDIATELY and you two head to pre marital counselling or the wedding is off. Let her know that you will NOT put up with lying, sneaking around etc, and if she feels she's not ready to settle down, be mature, be your wife, then she can give you back the ring and be alone so she can do whatever she wants with whom she wants.
phineas Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 "Testing you to see if you trust her" ? More like, "testing you to see if she'll get caught cheating" Gotta agree with this. OP, how old are you & your fiance?
ChessPieceFace Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Lies & cheating. Kind of obvious in this case.
Author cdm369 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 Im 38....she is 35...way told for that kind of behavior
Author cdm369 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 I know sometimes things can look different than they are but why put yourself in a position to look like that. Be where you say doin what you say you're doin. People set themselves up to fail to often.
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