Scarlett513 Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 I've sort of had my eye on this guy for awhile but he was in a relationship and I'm not the type to go after another woman's man. So I forgot about it but I recently found out he's actually been single for awhile now. Actually I'm not really the type to go after any man, lol, I'm pretty shy about that sort of thing. Anyway I'm looking into some career options and this guy is involved in that field, so I took the opportunity to contact him to get his input about a company I'm thinking of applying with (he used to work there). I did this over email with zero intention except getting some advice. He responded by suggesting we meet for lunch to talk about it. So we did that. It was fun but I kept it very professional. We did talk about some more personal things and I tried to flirt just a little by teasing him. He offered to contact a person he knows at the company and put in a good word for me, which he did right after our lunch. Also during lunch he told me to call him if I had any other questions, but we don't have each others phone numbers so I just sort of let that one go. I don't know if he wanted me to ask for his number or if he was just being helpful. Afterwards I sent him a brief thank you via email. He responded saying he had fun and we should do it again. I haven't replied bc I don't know if I should take that as an indication of interest, or if he just wants to be friends. I should mention we were never friends before this - friendly in the way where you chat when you run into one another but never in contact in a strictly social manner. Do I simply say, sure let's do it again, and leave it alone? Do I invent a reason to give him my number? Or do I strike it somewhere in between - like suggesting happy hour next time?
betterdeal Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Sounds promising and (best of all) like you're enjoying it! Lots of good relationships start as friendships. How about this: Suggest a place / event / thing to do and PS your phone number on the email.
Author Scarlett513 Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 That's not too forward? Should I suggest another during-work lunch or something outside of work like happy hour? Ugh I'm just so bad at this.
betterdeal Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Hey you I can't decide for you, but I do know if you over-think it you'll get in a tizz and that's not what you're aiming for! I know where you're coming from re being too forward, but don't be too concerned about that. The opposite of that is coming across as too aloof or nonchalant. Think of it like this: this guy is someone who interests you. You like him. You'd like to get to know him a bit more and maybe that can lead to more, but finding out is going to be fun anyway. If it was a woman who you didn't fancy, but you'd like to hang out with, you'd give her your number no problem, right? So do that with him - he is, after all, a friend right now, right?
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