thebig-guy Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 (edited) Ok so ive just broke NC again to ask why the ex is "kissing" in a photo with the guy i thought she finished me for... Im looking for people whove been in similar situations and actually kept their dignity, or rescued some of it. Because mines nearly gone. I called her and asked what the truth was. she still insists that he is just a bit of fun and nothing serious as she comes home from working abroad in 2 weeks.(even though i thought he was the reason for us splitting up) I no longer care what the reason is because i know 100% i will not get her back. I tell her that we need to block each other completely and she just laughs and says " yeah right speak to you in a week " assuming that i will call her again. :/ She seems to have some strange grip on me where she thinks i will never stop contacting her. Because ive toyed so many times with the fact ill never speak again she doesnt even take me seriously anymore. I almost got over her, was out partying and met a new girl. then when that died off i found out some news about her with a new guy and it sent me crazy. I cant seem to shift my attention from her. I mean ive realised that i dont even NEED this girl in my life, but i have this dark desire to keep pestering her, Even though i know she is a a parasite. I actually went to the extent to lie in this 'final' conversation to make her jealous. I can confess. I said i was now seeing someone else and said "you dont see me putting photos of us up do you ?!". Whats causing me to be like this? I feel like ive alienated myself. Ive Shown that im weak and that im still not over her. She even suggested that im still not over her. Obviously i know myself the only positive step now is just completely cut contact. But youve got to be strong willed. And at the moment i have nothing else in my life that i feel as passionatly about... I just want to be able to sit in my own company, and not thinkg about this woman. I feel like i always need company. and have done the past 3 weeks. Edited October 18, 2011 by thebig-guy
TheDovic Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Aww dude this sucks. It must be so hard seeing her with someone else! Don't even know what to say except time and finding the right girl will make this easier. I remember when my ex (the one before this one) dumped me and I found out she was with someone else. My boss was friends with my ex and I walked in to work one day and he had a concerned look on his face. He sat me down and told me my ex was pregnant and engaged to someone else (about 2 months after breaking up). I can honestly say I've never been more devastated, but within the space of 6 months I'd met someone else and never gave the other girl a second thought (despite whole heartedly believing before she was my soulmate). In terms of her assuming you'd call again, it's because you keep calling her so all the evidence points towards you doing this. She knows she can go and have fun and you'll be there waiting if it doesn't work out. Maybe if you somehow manage not to call it might get her thinking! Finally, with regard to that "dark desire" to keep pestering her - this is pure and simply down to the fact you aren't over her and want her back, whether you want to admit it or not!
Author thebig-guy Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 Thanks for that mate. I know im not over her yet. And i am an extremely determined person. I run my own Dance events and have been very successful with these but i feel that my determination has just taken over and im basically like a bull in a china shop. I think the fact shes directly told me that i will call her in a week could actually work in my favour. I just need to find a way to use this as an incentive to NEVER CALL HER AGAIN. Ive let my whole family down whove supported me by unblocking her on facebook and contacting her. I need to realise that she is nothing but a human being, and someone who i am not meant to be with
The Poster Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 " yeah right speak to you in a week " You want your dignity back? DO NOT CONTACT HER. I know it's hard, we ALL know it's hard, but you've GOT to find the strength. Prove her wrong and show her that you don't need her in your life. You'll be surprised how she will react once she sees you're serious about that. Also, either delete her off fb or hide her posts so you cannot see what she's doing. One of the biggest mistakes I made with my ex was constantly checking her fb to see what she was up to. It delayed the healing and just made me more upset and frustrated. None of this is easy, but you've got to find the strength. Once you do, everything will be much easier to handle.
Chi townD Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 YEP!!! All you did was give her one big ol' ego boost!!! And she doesn't believe that you have a girl in your life right now, because your contacting her! If you had a girl, you wouldn't care about the pic.. Stay NC dude!
TheDovic Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 I need to realise that she is nothing but a human being, and someone who i am not meant to be with This is easier said than done big-guy, but saying it is definitely the first step! PS, don't let anyone talk down to you as if you're nothing i.e. "speak to you next week." Who does she think she is? She's NOT better than you dude, so don't let her feel like she is!
Author thebig-guy Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 No contact HAS to start now. if i break it again im going to look completely pathetic. Regardless of what she thinks i need to show myself that i can be strong. This isnt about her anymore. Its about me. Because i know its very likely i will fall in love and get heartbroken again. Im frustrated because ive been in a similar situation to this in a previous relationship. But dealed with it better then. This time the love was more intense. At the moment im trying to block it out but i still do genuinly love her. The only thing that stops me getting upset is the fact i know she doesnt love me anymore. Ive had lots of advice telling me i need to find myself again and not look for someone else. But i feel that i will not stop loving her until i can replace her...
bel Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Don't sweat it. It's unbelievably easy to make an ass of yourself when you love someone who just doesn't care anymore On the bright side, you do sound a little bit more pissed in each post of this thread. I'd use that "anger" as a tool to NOT contact her, just try to picture her laughing when she sees your incoming call. Also, drop it with facebook. It's like a curse in these situations.
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