joey232 Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 (edited) Hi All please I need some help!! So this is my situation. I met this wonderful girl over the internet and we were friends for like one year. After which I started to have feelings for her but I never told her anything. Slowly as we got closer she said she loved me and we were very happy together. Now, this girl is the most beautiful sweetest, nicest, smartest girl I had ever met in my life and she is extremely wealthy and a doctor by profession too. When I met her I was jobless and without even a single penny so I could not go and visit her (she was in another state btw). I was waiting for a job in the field I had majored in and she being the smart one forced me into a job which did'nt pay much but was a great decision considering I now have options with the my career. We were together for 2 years and then things started to go bad. She had called me to her city many times but I did not go there thinking she should not see me as a loser and thought I would go there after I had a good job and enough money. As I already said she was from a very wealthy family so I kind of knew it would never work out. About 9 months ago she started moving away from me I mean, calls stopped coming in, she acted like she cared less and things like that. Finally she told me things were not working out and it is better that we broke up. I agreed as I did not know what else to do. Its been 9 months now and she called me couple of days before for my birthday to wish me. I grew up in a totally messed up family and I miss the love and affection she gave me all this time. There has not been a single day I wish we were together and I love her soo much. I have even lost interest in meeting any one new and I do not find people at work or anywhere else attractive. I am totally hung up with the past and still hoping someday she will come back to me (which she probably wont as she told me she moved on and I know many guys are behind her). How do I finally get her out of my mind and just move on? Do you think what I feel is love? I want her to be happy and there is no way in the near future I can provide her the kind of lifestyle she has lived. She might get married real soon and the fact that she made the right decision by breaking up with me makes her more attractive and I feel like I my head would just burst. Should I just go see her now or should I just leave it at that? Please help. Any advice appreciated! Edited October 18, 2011 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Lucy2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Hi, Sorry to hear youare suffering, 9 months is a lot longer than my 5days NC. It sucks I know. It once took me about 18 months to get over an ex (my first bf) but I did get there eventually. I don't know how you get over her, as I dont know the answer to getting over my ex myself. Just try to stay busy I guess and try to get on with your life, meet new people and try not to think about her. I know its tough, truly. You could try counselling, you mention problems in your past. Maybe talking to a professional would help? Sorry I'm no help, my head is messed up too. I know the pain you are going through, it truly sucks. You must try to let her go, and if it is meant to be she will come back to you, thats my way of thinking. Try and stay strong.
confused kitty Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 I think you should go see her just as a friend, spend some time with her and see how it goes from there. personally i dont think the fact that you havent got a great job or loads of money should make a difference, i know you say this was a worry for you but obviously it wasnt an issue for her if she was with you for two years and said she loved you, it sounds like the constent "waiting" is what she got tired of.... Like i said, go see her as a friend (try not to get your hopes up) but you never know what might happen - either way at least you will know how she feels then and you wont look back and say "what if".... Good luck and keep us all posted
Chi townD Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Sorry dude, but I think you threw away a good thing. She didn't care that you weren't made of money even though she came from it. She didn't care that you had a messed up time of it growing up. She just wanted to see YOU. And because of your own insecurities, you let her slip away. You made her feel unwanted...so, she moved on. Chalk it up as lessons learned. Fix yourself and and learn from your mistakes. Sorry if I came across as harsh, but it is what it is.
Author joey232 Posted December 2, 2011 Author Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) Hey all, thanks for your advice..Like what Chi townD mentioned I tried chalking it up as a lesson but still not getting through. I just called her once after I got your replies and she's so sweetly asking me to move on..more like listen sweetheart I know you are hurting but this cannot happen and she was giving me all her updates as if I were her best friend. She was telling me how she likes this guy at her workplace and how she plans to marry him if all goes well. She's even telling me that she tells me such personal things so that I can try to hate her and move on. I understand that she can like anyone she wants but still hurts to think if anyone would love her as much as I would. I just love every small little thing about her. This sounds like kiddie stuff but this woman is just tearing up my heart by being too nice.. Ive been having constant dreams about taking care of her ever since our breakup and I have no idea what to do next. Hope all this goes away in a few months..thats all I can do for now.. Edited December 2, 2011 by joey232
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