shawn923 Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Ok so I go to the same college as my ex, and i see her on campus randomly. Ive went NC her numerous times, and SHE has broken it each time. She comes back for breadcrumbs, says she wants to be with me, but whenever i ask her for action she runs away. This happens over and over again... And seeing her around in school and forcing myself to ignore her is getting more and more awkward... So, what to do? Should i just be her friend and give up all hope of getting back together? Or continue with this big circle? Keep in mind, i NEVER break NC. Its Always been her. I erased her from fb, ignore her, etc. What am i supposed to do? Reconciliation is also what I want, although it keeps looking like that wont happen
louise_23 Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Ok so I go to the same college as my ex, and i see her on campus randomly. Ive went NC her numerous times, and SHE has broken it each time. She comes back for breadcrumbs, says she wants to be with me, but whenever i ask her for action she runs away. This happens over and over again... And seeing her around in school and forcing myself to ignore her is getting more and more awkward... So, what to do? Should i just be her friend and give up all hope of getting back together? Or continue with this big circle? Keep in mind, i NEVER break NC. Its Always been her. I erased her from fb, ignore her, etc. What am i supposed to do? Reconciliation is also what I want, although it keeps looking like that wont happen doesnt sound like its going to go anywhere. sounds like she wants it to seem as if she's holding all the cards when she knows its actually you. just my opinion anyway. BUT instead of playing around give her an ultimatum - you either come and sort it out with me in person or theres no hope of us getting back together because i'll move on. name the time and place, and if she doesnt show, shes not interested.
ConfusedT Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 i dont think NC will lose it's effect if its used for the right purpose, healing yourself. it has nothing to do with her, although for you it does. in actuality, you have to focus on you, breadcrumbs or not- i always eat them when my ex left them too, but i was still hungry..
betterdeal Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Set yourself a reasonable period of time - 3 months - in which you will not talk or communicate with her at all except to say "leave me alone - I have nothing to say to you". That is the only thing you can say to her. You can ignore her, you can walk away, you can do anything, but that is all you can say. Focus your energy and talent elsewhere. If, after those 3 months you are still interested in her, and you have calmed down, consider reconnecting with her. Girls a ten a penny. You are one in a million. Don't forget that.
fetish1980 Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 shawn923. Been a long time man. I don't take the breaking the contact as a sign of lack of progress or lack of growth. It's normal to still have feelings for her, but i don't think you've really completely healed since the last time you broke up. I remember your story somewhat and I don't think you're emotionally ready after everything that happened. fetish
bdbmwer Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 I feel your pain im in the exact same situation except its even more awkward because we have a class together and its a SMALL one. all i can do is sit away and well occasionally have awkward eye contact AND she tries to make me jealous by talking loud and overly flirty to guys around me so HEY it could be worse . my advice to you would be dont even bite at breadcrumbs set a goal for yourself. strict NC for a certain length of time such as 6 weeks and ignore ALL attempts at contact and focus solely on healing yourself and putting yourself on a pedestal. after that time expires if shes still contacting you id still say dont respond to anything less than a serious text that appears progressive. none of this "hey whats up" stuff. Nothing worse than being strung along as a backup plan or worse friend zoned. ive ignored mines calls and texts for 11 days and trust me you will feel SO much better not even wondering what it means.
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