Jam3s Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Hi all, Been dating a girl for a month now and it really is going well. We originally had plans to meet at the end of November (she is about 500 miles away) however she is unable to get time off from work during that period and not until early January, and so suggested we meet then since we will be able to spend a solid 2 weeks together without work or studies getting in the way. Now I am all for that as it would be great to spend a decent amount of time together without distraction, however January also seems like so far away. I was thinking whether or not a surprise visit one weekend (get there fri night/early sat and leave sun night) would be an idea? I guess my fear is that it would be perhaps too short to get comfortable and relaxed with eachother but another side of me thinks it would be a pretty awesome surprise and experience. Anyway considered this or gone through with it, any thoughts?
HeavenOrHell Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 I'd say no don't do it, she may be busy the weekend you go, she might have studying/work to do, she might even not be at home when you turn up, she might have people there already. For me personally, I wouldn't have wanted a surprise visit the first time we met, for a start I'd want to make sure I looked my best And she'll miss out on the anticipation and excitement of the first visit, if she doesn't know you're going. Hi all, Been dating a girl for a month now and it really is going well. We originally had plans to meet at the end of November (she is about 500 miles away) however she is unable to get time off from work during that period and not until early January, and so suggested we meet then since we will be able to spend a solid 2 weeks together without work or studies getting in the way. Now I am all for that as it would be great to spend a decent amount of time together without distraction, however January also seems like so far away. I was thinking whether or not a surprise visit one weekend (get there fri night/early sat and leave sun night) would be an idea? I guess my fear is that it would be perhaps too short to get comfortable and relaxed with eachother but another side of me thinks it would be a pretty awesome surprise and experience. Anyway considered this or gone through with it, any thoughts?
Author Jam3s Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 Thanks for the reply! Those things were my concerns, I would try to suss out her plans for they change anyway, would suck if I rocked up and she was not even there lol. Pity Jan is so far away but will be worth it.
Author Jam3s Posted October 20, 2011 Author Posted October 20, 2011 Yeah would be. Actually discussed meeting for a weekend in late Nov with her and she is very keen so looks like we might go ahead with it anyway, but we will expect it hehe.
almondeyes101 Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Surprise visit... I had that once (and it wasn't even a LDR...) but after got over the 'OMG you're here' moment I started to consider... If I flake out this weekend on this paper would my teacher mind it so much? Have to call my moms and tell I won't be home this weekend! Damn that top that looks really good on me is in the wash... I would have like to wear it with him this weekend! and the list goes on... It sounds like really unimportant stuff but in the situation I think of weird things i guess! On the other hand though you get to see this person in a natural environment surprises like this one reduces the 'false impressions ratio' (so to speak) lol Either way I think you really ought to know this person before you decide. :love:
Lucky_One Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 As romantic as it sounds, do NOT surprise her for a visit, especially as this is the first time you will ever see her face to face. I can't imagine how horrified I would have been for my BF to show up with my apartment a mess, the sheets dirty and unmade, my legs hairy, my hair greasy, and me eating 3 packages of ramen noodles out of the pot when the doorbell rang. She will want to be smooth and silky, clean and scented, with everything warm, clean and welcoming; surprise visits are for when you know each other much better! November is nearly here!
Tayla Posted October 21, 2011 Posted October 21, 2011 Awww...this reminds me back in the time where my first meeting with my LDR was a surprise for us both! ...It was entirely spontaneous and we both GOT to meet under the no stress terms! He was flying to America for a meeting in the south (georgia). I live up near Philly...so I knew when he was in the states I was okay with him not being able to get away from his work paid time here. Yet oddly out of no where I get a phone call on a Friday afternoon...telling me he finished up his meeting and had the weekend to explore my country..I leapt into my car..raced to the airport.....and when he was coming down the escalator...our eyes locked and never left one anothers' side that weekend....We loved every second of Tourist type stuff he wanted to do...and all the while ...it was a welcoming decision...No we hadn't met physically before but our hearts sure had. Maybe I am an endorser for spontaneous moments and opportunities! So I say...why not? (Other then the few who are planners at thinking they can control circumstances and life itself)..I am sooooooooo glad we "DIDN"T" plan our first meeting that it became all that more comfortable and stress free! So thats my thoughts for ya....it never hurts to at least consider that things could work out ten fold better then a planned one ever could
Author Jam3s Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 Well I am doing it. Thought a lot about the idea of a surprise visit and I have made sure she will be home with no plans for the evening (I organised a movie night for us over webcam (where we watch the same movie in unison but chat/laugh etc during it to each-other, actually a hell of a lot of fun and I recommend it for other LDR's!!) ahem anyway, so she will be home waiting for me to come online, she also has no plans for the weekend which is great. I sent her mother a message yesterday explaining my intentions and she said it was a great idea and her daughter would be over the moon, so that gave me the confidence to go ahead with it. So I fly tomorrow afternoon and arrive at the airport at 5:30, our movie time is around 6:30 which gives me a nice trundle to her place. In the back of my mind I am still worried she will flip out but honestly I'm going to be adventurous for once in my life instead of being scared due to fears of the unknown. Will certainly post how it goes.
cracker2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 i think its a lovely idea. id be thrilled if someone done that for me.. although i wud like to make sure, that my hair was washed, my legs were shaved etc etc :D
HeavenOrHell Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Haha! Totally agree As romantic as it sounds, do NOT surprise her for a visit, especially as this is the first time you will ever see her face to face. I can't imagine how horrified I would have been for my BF to show up with my apartment a mess, the sheets dirty and unmade, my legs hairy, my hair greasy, and me eating 3 packages of ramen noodles out of the pot when the doorbell rang. She will want to be smooth and silky, clean and scented, with everything warm, clean and welcoming; surprise visits are for when you know each other much better! November is nearly here!
HeavenOrHell Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Hope it all goes well From a woman's perspective I have to say I'd want the enjoyment of getting ready and the anticipation of looking forward to it, and looking my best etc, but maybe these things won't matter to her. It sounds like it will work out well though Have fun! Well I am doing it. Thought a lot about the idea of a surprise visit and I have made sure she will be home with no plans for the evening (I organised a movie night for us over webcam (where we watch the same movie in unison but chat/laugh etc during it to each-other, actually a hell of a lot of fun and I recommend it for other LDR's!!) ahem anyway, so she will be home waiting for me to come online, she also has no plans for the weekend which is great. I sent her mother a message yesterday explaining my intentions and she said it was a great idea and her daughter would be over the moon, so that gave me the confidence to go ahead with it. So I fly tomorrow afternoon and arrive at the airport at 5:30, our movie time is around 6:30 which gives me a nice trundle to her place. In the back of my mind I am still worried she will flip out but honestly I'm going to be adventurous for once in my life instead of being scared due to fears of the unknown. Will certainly post how it goes.
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