Would you color your hair darker if you knew your bf's preference are brunettes?

October 19, 2011

I did tell him before we moved in how much it hurt me, he said that I kept digging and digging. He did apologize for hurting me and said that he will be more careful in what he says.

Be honest with yourself (no need to spill any details here).....did you say equally hurtful things in these fights?

October 19, 2011

I wouldn't change just for a guy. I'd have to want to do it. My BF likes my completely natural hair best (insane curls) even though it easily turns into a rat's nest. I still go with what I like best regardless of his preference, and he thinks I'm always beautiful. I wear my hair straightened most of the time because it's easier for me and it looks more polished. It's surprisingly low-maintenance, as I don't shampoo my hair. Not nearly as much damage is incurred because I don't have to straighten it every day.

Edited October 19, 2011 by tigressA

October 19, 2011

I am insecure knowing that I am not that close to his physical ideal. We had many bitter fights, especially during the time we were broken up. He claimed that it wasn't love or even strong lust at the first sight with me. That he saw potential and he found me attractive enough to want to get to know me. Then he fell in love with me based on my personality rather than looks. During the fight, he told me that there were girls with whom he felt much stronger physical attraction on first sight in the past. I knew that there is lot of truth in those words

From my perspective that's actually a better scenario than him just crushing on your looks. You personality will be something that will be with you into old age, looks will not. That being said, whenever I crush on a woman's personality, then that makes her look physically more appealing.

You had the man crying and begging ES. I think it's safe to say he's into you.

October 19, 2011

It's actually not easy to switch from dark to light. My hair is already bleached and it would be easy to dye it dark but it would take me a looooong time to go back to blonde. It would mean re-bleaching the already bleached hair which would probably fall off. My only option would be to cut it really short.
So it's not like I could just see if I like it.

Can't you use a semi permanent? It will wash out after a month or so and your hair should go back to blond.

October 19, 2011

It's actually not easy to switch from dark to light. My hair is already bleached and it would be easy to dye it dark but it would take me a looooong time to go back to blonde. It would mean re-bleaching the already bleached hair which would probably fall off. My only option would be to cut it really short.
So it's not like I could just see if I like it.

Next time you go to the hairdresser, you could ask for a darker shade.

Here's a useful chart, with quite a few blonde shades.

http://vitaminlife.com/images/products/herbavita.jpg

My natural colour (if you discount the grey, ugh) is somewhere between 7N and 8N. Due to my hairdressers bleach-happy fingers, it was at a shade round about 8D. Now it's more like the light golden blonde (7D on that chart) which is far closer to natural colour.

I seem to recall a picture of you on the board, and I think yours was even lighter than mine has been at its lightest. Closer to platinum maybe? If your hair is naturally a mid brown then that must have taken a lot of processing.

What would you say your natural colour is, according to that chart I enclosed? If it's dark blonde, then maybe 8N would be a nice shade for you? Blonde doesn't have to mean platinum. A darker, honey blonde can create a softer, more womanly look....and that certainly doesn't need to mean boring or ageing.

October 19, 2011

Re: Emma Stone's blond hair

Technically, T_C and Nexus are probably both right to an extent. While she is known for dyeing her hair back to it's "natural" color, you can't really just wash out any decent reds and I seriously doubt she uses a completely impermanent red color. She likely has to strip the red out and dye her hair back to it's "natural" color. Thus, it's a slightly unnatural version of her natural color. I do disagree that her hair looks unnaturally colored in those pictures----that's a shade that people can/do have naturally, though usually it fades as they age (and fail to take care of their hair by allowing it to be exposed to various elements), but as people have said there are oils and such that create shine quite well.

Nexus

compare the two looks

Here's Emma Stone with a fairly natural look but still wearing some makeup since she's in a movie:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_viu77GQNe0Y/TUUFMJ4Wx1I/AAAAAAAAAiE/Iyum6fqE08U/s1600/emmastone7.jpg

Here she is with more obvious makeup and a less natural look:
http://alipstickeffect.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/emma-stone_red.jpg
http://fabulousbuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/emma-stone-blonde.jpg

You really find the first photo more attractive??

I know many men --- more men than women! --- who would find the first photo more attractive.

I agree that her makeup is overdone in the other two but her features look prettier in them. Her eyes have more definition and pop more. In the first photo she looks somewhat plain to me. Pretty but I wouldn't pick her out of a crowd.

Also, I think her eyes look prettiest in the first one, but what do I know? But, as no man has come in and said the first one looks like you wouldn't pick her out of a crowd (and seriously? She's still really beautiful in that pic. How picky you are!), you're not really illustrating how unrealistic the MALE ideal of beauty is. . . you're just further illustrating how picky women can be.

Is this mostly an issue for people with fair skin and hair? I know that people with darker hair also dye their hair sometimes, but there are billions of women walking the earth with stunning black hair. GORGEOUS hair.

Women describe hair as "mousy". Not men. When I was younger, a coworker asked me if I got tired of my "mousy" hair. I was confused. My husband has always considered my hair "perfect" and "beautiful". We love my mousy hair

Also, even though men look at celebrities for their "ideal"....don't assume that means they don't appreciate natural. I might look at a celeb photo and say "I wish my ______ looked like that." and my husband replies, befuddled, "Your _____ looks just like that." Sometimes, they honestly don't see the distinctions that women see.

I would agree with all of this. If anything, in my experience, it's WOMEN who perpetuate ideals of celebrity beauty in mainstream culture.

Anyway, back to ES's actual issue:

I guess the crux of the problem is this:

I am insecure knowing that I am not that close to his physical ideal. We had many bitter fights, especially during the time we were broken up. He claimed that it wasn't love or even strong lust at the first sight with me. That he saw potential and he found me attractive enough to want to get to know me. Then he fell in love with me based on my personality rather than looks. During the fight, he told me that there were girls with whom he felt much stronger physical attraction on first sight in the past. I knew that there is lot of truth in those words

[snip]

I am not sure how realistic my fear is. I talked to him about it and he just repeats himself, saying that he would rather be with his personality ideal than his physical ideal and that in the perfect world sure, you would have both but he doesn't think it's really possible and he has never had it before. That he can't love anyone more than he loves me.

Intimacy means sharing things that might be better left "unsaid" in polite company. Obviously, his sharing those initial reactions left you unsettled. I don't think that made it wrong for him to share----intimacy requires such things be shared-----but here we are. As to the physical type thing: my question to you is, Why is it so important to YOU that you be his physical type or that he be wildly attracted to you at first sight, more than he ever was to anyone else? This is part of YOUR criteria for a good relationship, it sounds like, but not his. So, since you cannot change his experience, either get out of this relationship which does not meet your criteria OR change your criteria. Neither approach is wrong; everyone has their own criteria for what is important, and that's one of those things that could go either way.

I think this is something that's important to you because you are always fixated on physical attraction --- for the longest time, you said there were practically no guys you were attracted to, etc --- and your experience of it is either NOT attracted or WAY attracted. Understand: Many people experience middle ground there more often than those two extremes, though. It sounds like that's where he was with you, but his getting to know you and loving you GREW his attraction to you, which is a good thing!

October 19, 2011

I agree that her makeup is overdone in the other two but her features look prettier in them. Her eyes have more definition and pop more. In the first photo she looks somewhat plain to me. Pretty but I wouldn't pick her out of a crowd.

In my opinion her personality is what makes her more appealing than she is at first sight. Her personality grows her physical attraction so to speak. Had I merely seen her in the street, then it's possible I would have overlooked her, but had I even had a glimpse of her personality, then she would immediately grab my visual attention, because that's what grows her appeal significantly in my opinion.

That's why, in my opinion, women should not discard men who say they crush on their personality. Personality is a multiplier, it can get a girl/woman noticed and can get a guy hooked and can keep the attraction strong and solid over time.

October 19, 2011

He is annoyed that I repeat over this attraction issue all the time. He told me that he can't beleive that I would rather he fell in love with my blond hair and big boobs than who I am inside

...

He can't beleive that I can't just accept that he loves me and am constantly doubting everything.

I agree completely with him. It is annoying and you should definitely take it seriously that he's crushing on your personality. That's a favorable position to be in for a woman. It would be unwise for a woman to discard/dismiss that.

Edited October 19, 2011 by Nexus One

October 19, 2011

I do have a reason to be insecure?

Keep in mind that those things were said during major fights, not just out of the blue (but am pretty sure are true nonetheless).

I am unable to tell anymore how significant they are.

I've said this so many times to you already. Enjoy what you both have in the moment, for as long as it lasts, otherwise you will miss the whole point of it all.

Those words keep going around and around in my mind and I can't truly relax and enjoy the relationship.

I did tell him before we moved in how much it hurt me, he said that I kept digging and digging. He did apologize for hurting me and said that he will be more careful in what he says.

Since then, he has been over-doing it with giving me tons of compliments ALL the time (including how much blond hair suits me ). They now feel hollow and fake.

One of the things that I have always wondered is this: is this one of unsaid ugly truths in most relationships? Really, who has their ideal physical and personality match in their partner? (except CE ). Most people just prefer to live in an ignorant bliss, rather than over-analyze and dig the way that I do.

He's with you for a reason. If he's like me, then he at one point would have asked himself the following question: "Do I feel like I settle if I go for her?"

Other things I tend to ask myself are, "Do I feel joy when I see her", "Do I want this moment for life?" and "When I look into her eyes, do I feel like I've come home?".

If I answer all of those questions positively (to myself), then I know I'm seriously head over heels.

I suspect that when men talk about having a preference for brunettes, it's often associated with a preference for the Mediterranean or Latina look.

Mediterranean or Latina women tend to have black hair. And as black is not brown, I don't think men tend to generally consider them to be brunettes.

As I entered our place, he picked me up and spun me around, hugged and kissed me saying "My life partner is home!"

Men tend to say things exactly the way it comes out of their mouths. If I said something like that, I'd mean it. I can't imagine saying something like that without genuinely feeling it too. Just the thought of faking that makes my stomach cringe.

I feel kind of bad talking s... about him.

Don't talk about him then if you feel like that. Although I very much understand your desire to get things off your chest. I also use LS to get things off my chest.

When deeply in love, your partner can become your ideal. You idealize the features they have.

Bingo.

It's actually not easy to switch from dark to light. My hair is already bleached and it would be easy to dye it dark but it would take me a looooong time to go back to blonde. It would mean re-bleaching the already bleached hair which would probably fall off. My only option would be to cut it really short.
So it's not like I could just see if I like it.

There are websites online to where you can upload photo's to change the color of your hair and the style. Some are fairly ok and you can print out the pictures and take them to your hairdresser to tell her how you want it or use them as reference when doing it yourself.

But if your rather want to stay blonde ES, then just do that. Your boyfriend will not leave you for not having brown hair, it's just a preference he has. What you can do though is look online for ways to blonde your hair without chemically frying it or at least without making it look like it's chemically burnt in.

But it's up to you, don't worry so much about it. Whatever happens, happens. Enjoy it for as long as it lasts. Or you will miss the point of it all.

Edited October 19, 2011 by Nexus One

October 19, 2011

I can't tell you if they're true, but no wonder you're not feeling secure. Like you should be grateful that he's ok with not being terribly attracted to you cos he thinks your personality is swell. And saying he's more attracted to others...ugh!

I don't know if it's that significant, given you were fighting, but he sounds like a jerk.

Even his harping on his stupid hair preference cos it's "healthier" rubs me the wrong way. Is he your bloody hair dresser?

Please, take this all with many grains of salt. I'm quite sure that the ONLY person harping on hair color is ES.

I don't expect you, ES, to own up to what you've done, but I know.

It's the time honored method of fishing for compliments while simultaneously putting the "loved one" in the position of being the bad guy:

"Do these pants make my ass look big? Please, be honest."

"No, honey, you look beautiful in anything you wear."

"Really. Tell me the truth. Don't you think they kind of make me look like I have a little bit of saddle bags?"

"No, darling, nothing could make you look like you have saddle bags."

"Well, don't you think the black ones make me look a little bit more slim? Just a bit?"

"Well, I do think you look super hot in the black ones."

"I KNEW you thought I looked FAT. WHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!"

And he might never live it down.

Months ago when you first got together, you got him cornered into telling you what his "usual" type has been, which is different from you. I'd be willing to bet ANY MONEY that this guy would have NEVER mentioned that he "prefers" brunettes if you had not bugged and bugged about it, or stealthily trapped him into an impossible corner.

You've been spending the ensuing time of your relationship needling him and torturing him about it.

I'm pretty sure it was exactly this behavior of yours that precipitated the stupid blow up that happened while he was on his vacation.

You are priming for another one just like it.

If you can't handle being in a relationship with a person who does not act completely infatuated with everything about you at every moment of his life - which is impossible - that's ON YOU.

It matters not what color your hair is. If you can't get a handle on your behavior your relationship will blow up soon and be over.

Nobody can stand being in a relationship with a person whose insecurities and jealousy are the overriding features of it.

Now, on to your original question.

If you were a healthy person, in a healthy relationship, it could be fun to dye your hair for a change, and to give your boyfriend a surprise.

You can use a demi-permanent color that won't be so difficult to move on from when you want to return to blonde.

But, I would certainly not recommend it. You will be disappointed. He won't act like he is completely infatuated with you every waking moment of his life no matter what your hair color is. He's not like that. "Normal" people in "normal" and healthy relationships don't behave that way. But it's what you need, want, and what you will torture your boyfriend to try to get. So, dying your hair to try to get that will be ill fated and probably drive your relationship into irretrievable territory more quickly than if you keep your hair the way you like it.

Instead, how about trying to put a complete halt to this destructive path you are speeding along, which includes the threads you have been starting about your relationship. Neither one of them can possibly offer you any constructive help. Both of them are designed to add fuel to the fire of destruction that you are now building.

You could probably stop it if you really truly tried - and if you would like to nurture rather than trash your relationship and the person you're in it with.

October 19, 2011

I think NexusOne makes some amazing points, but I have this little feeling that it'll all fall by the wayside. :/

October 19, 2011

One of the things that I have always wondered is this: is this one of unsaid ugly truths in most relationships? Really, who has their ideal physical and personality match in their partner? (except CE ). Most people just prefer to live in an ignorant bliss, rather than over-analyze and dig the way that I do.

Pretty much. Even people with a partner they think is absolutely gorgeous usually find them lacking in some other way. I know that my most physically attractive boyfriend was a little retarded in the emotional department, and admitted as much. I have a guy friend who's dating a woman he finds gorgeous, but he says she's flaky, irresponsible, has a significant drinking problem, and isn't that smart.

I don't think he was being a jerk. I think he was being honest. But he could have said that in a much more tactful, considerate way. The truth can hurt, but then at least you know exactly what you're dealing with.

October 19, 2011

I do have a reason to be insecure?

Keep in mind that those things were said during major fights, not just out of the blue (but am pretty sure are true nonetheless).

I am unable to tell anymore how significant they are.

You're pretty sure they're true, and so am I.

Maybe I'm not a strong enough person, but I'd never be able to get over that, and his love for my personality just wouldn't matter. It would make me insecure, and I'd also know that he's capable of hitting below the belt during an argument.

October 19, 2011

Physical ideal or not, one should NOT tell their SO that they were not physically attracted to them when they first met, and that they were instead attracted to their personality... especially when they "lie" about finding another woman in Europe they're more attracted to?

Who IS this guy?

October 19, 2011

It's actually not easy to switch from dark to light. My hair is already bleached and it would be easy to dye it dark but it would take me a looooong time to go back to blonde. It would mean re-bleaching the already bleached hair which would probably fall off. My only option would be to cut it really short.
So it's not like I could just see if I like it.

All it takes is one appointment with the hairdresser to go from dark to light. Just one appointment. I went from dark, almost black hair to medium blonde in one appointment. Of course, if you intend to go back to the platinum blonde, that might take two. Not that big of a deal, really. Of course, you'd have to wait a month or so after the coloring before changing it again. As long as the hair is conditioned and done professionally, it should be fine. It's not like you'd be doing that all the time.

And as far as the Emma Stone argument goes, she may have started out with blonde hair originally, but all the photos you see of her with blonde hair are the bleached blonde, since she regularly switches up her hair color. She's not letting it go to her natural blonde color on its own, so chances are, the blonde you see in her photos is not the same shade or look that is her natural blonde color. Just wanted to point that out, for what it's worth. Another option, just for the fun of it, would be to get a dark wig, as someone else mentioned. Might be fun to have a different look once in a while without changing your actual hair color.

October 19, 2011

Fine Ruby. I'm completely the product of the media and have no cognitive capabilities of my own. Kind of ironic for you to call me out on my references from the film industry, when you have a moviestar as your avatar.

Touche.

I apologize for being bitchy toward you. It's no excuse, but I was in a crappy mood that day.

I don't agree with all your points, but I could have debated them more respectfully.

October 19, 2011

Would you color your hair darker if you knew your bf's preference are brunettes?

My exW would say 'yes' and to change boyfriends often

(She's a professional colorist)

Not having read the interceding thread, one potentially fun way to deal with this would be to get a naughty girl brunette wig for an evening of sensual adventure. See how it goes. Do a few boudoir pictures. See how you (and he) like it. If you and he match up, give it a whirl more permanently. Sometimes what we like as a single person changes when in a relationship, not strictly because of a partners unilateral 'preference' but more because of the shared synergy creates a couple's 'picture' which might be different than that from being single.

Anyway, hope it works out

October 19, 2011

Touche.

I apologize for being bitchy toward you. It's no excuse, but I was in a crappy mood that day.

I don't agree with all your points, but I could have debated them more respectfully.

It's nice that you own it but... I personally think you still made an astute observation :o

Sorry Nexus...

October 19, 2011

Physical ideal or not, one should NOT tell their SO that they were not physically attracted to them when they first met, and that they were instead attracted to their personality... especially when they "lie" about finding another woman in Europe they're more attracted to?

Who IS this guy?

A dumb guy, like most of them? (Joking -- sort of...)

Men have a way of saying stupid things that hurt women's feelings. And I have given more than one of them hell for doing so. Yes, call us overly sensitive if you like. Perhaps we are.

I seem to recall ES saying basically the same thing about him -- that he isn't really her type physically and she wasn't bowled over by his looks when she was first getting to know him, but when you put the whole package together, she's crazy about him. She might not have said that out loud to him, but I think their feelings on the matter are essentially the same.

October 19, 2011

and his love for my personality just wouldn't matter.

A relationship without a crush on personality would be a superficial relationship. Attraction will in that case fade once looks fade. I've heard multiple women dismiss this already, grave mistake ladies.

For me personally it is a requirement. No crush on my personality = no game. I'm going to be old and wrinkly one day and I then still want to be in love and loved.

and I'd also know that he's capable of hitting below the belt during an argument.

I don't know how intense their fights were, but I'm suspecting ES pressed him to admit those things. What should he have done, lie?

Here's my take on it. He's attracted to her looks up to a certain point, enough to crush on her. He's also crushing intensely on her personality, which makes him see ES as physically more beautiful.

If you cut that last part away, then you take away a large part of the foundation of his attraction. Looks are an initial "carrot on a stick" for men, it's what draws a man in, but looks don't necessarily seal the deal or keep a relationship solid, however personality does and intelligence can also help in that regard. Building a bond and connection will also strengthen things.

October 19, 2011

It's nice that you own it but... I personally think you still made an astute observation :o

Sorry Nexus...

Which observation are you talking about exactly?

October 19, 2011

It's nice that you own it but... I personally think you still made an astute observation :o

Sorry Nexus...

I stand by what I said: that the "natural" look most men appreciate in women is not natural by any stretch, but is created with synthetic means. The most glaring example was the blonde celeb. Nexus insists that is her natural hair color, but I think it's extremely unlikely that her natural hair, if left to grow out without any dye job, is that vibrant light blonde color.

Saying in an interview that she's a natural blonde is almost meaningless. I'm a "natural blonde", too, but the blonde that comes out of a salon is brighter and more vibrant than my natural color.

October 19, 2011

I stand by what I said: that the "natural" look most men appreciate in women is not natural by any stretch, but is created with synthetic means.

Ruby, have you ever spent a portion of your life without the synthetic beauty aides?

It may take walking that path to believe it, but men really do appreciate natural beauty. I never wore makeup, or dyed my hair (and sometimes didn't even shave ) in my 20s, and I got plenty of attention from men of all stripes (professors, doctors, artists, hippies and non).

I agree that men can't tell true natural beauty from aided "natural" beauty--but that's the point. They can't tell the difference. They think the freshly scrubbed girl next door looks JUST as beautiful as the aided "natural" beauty in the media.

October 19, 2011

Pretty much. Even people with a partner they think is absolutely gorgeous usually find them lacking in some other way. I know that my most physically attractive boyfriend was a little retarded in the emotional department, and admitted as much. I have a guy friend who's dating a woman he finds gorgeous, but he says she's flaky, irresponsible, has a significant drinking problem, and isn't that smart.

While I don't necessarily believe in having full-on rose-colored glasses for your partner, if someone has critiques that cutting (not what ES's BF says, but the examples you give), I cannot see how that can become a lifelong partnership. I think partners can still recognize each other's flaws----and I think it's worthwhile to point out that ES's boyfriend is not saying he has NO physical attraction to her; in fact, he's said she's beautiful, I believe, from things she's posted; so, what he's saying isn't even a flaw, really-----but it's just a lot different and softer than that. The flaws almost become cute, because they are ways you complement each other. They might be frustrating at moments, of course, but I mean, overall. Love and judgment do not mix well. So, when you see such harsh judgments, they rarely lead to lasting love. Just a thought, based on observations of successful marriages, etc.

Physical ideal or not, one should NOT tell their SO that they were not physically attracted to them when they first met, and that they were instead attracted to their personality... especially when they "lie" about finding another woman in Europe they're more attracted to?

Who IS this guy?

Well, the Europe lie is still weird.

However, I don't see what's wrong with saying, "I wasn't instantaneously attracted to you," to a partner with whom you are intimate and thus, effectively, share inner thoughts/feelings/experiences with. Even if she hadn't asked (and I'm sure she brought the convo there, as others have said), I don't find it an "offensive" thing to say (the way he said it, maybe, and during a fight definitely isn't the time, I agree, though I'm unclear on how all of this went down, as always with these pieced together stories). In fact, one of my best friends didn't find her fiance that attractive when she met him, and he knows this, and it's part of a cute story how they wound up together. You'll actually find MANY women who say they didn't find their husbands that sexy at first; it's a pretty common phenomenon. Why are women so rattled by the same phenomenon? Why isn't it good that your sexiness came from WHO you are, rather than from an instant-look?

Again, it all depends on exactly what he's saying, how he's saying it, what prompting is going on, when he's saying it, and so forth, and since we're seeing it through the filter of ES and I'm not even clear on what she means when she mentions it, since it's not been like a "Here's exactly how it came up" story anyway, I'm totally unclear on that. IF he's saying it during a fight to hurt her, of course that's bogus, but it's not the content of the message that's at issue; it's the hurtful intention. And in that case, it's a whole different ballgame.

But, I still don't see what's wrong with honesty----complete honesty----in an intimate relationship with someone you are so committed to that you're living with them. I don't see how a relationship functions without that honesty, really.

A relationship without a crush on personality would be a superficial relationship. Attraction will in that case fade once looks fade. I've heard multiple women dismiss this already, grave mistake ladies.

For me personally it is a requirement. No crush on my personality = no game. I'm going to be old and wrinkly one day and I then still want to be in love and loved.

Agreed! I mean, my BF tells me I look sexy all the time, but if I thought that was why he was into me, I'd be out ASAP. And I wouldn't be offended if he hadn't thought I was a knockout at first or even think about that. Love doesn't arise from that initial physical attraction, but it can certainly heighten physical attraction. That's my experience of it, at least.

Here's my take on it. He's attracted to her looks up to a certain point, enough to crush on her. He's also crushing intensely on her personality, which makes him see ES as physically more beautiful.

If you cut that last part away, then you take away a large part of the foundation of his attraction. Looks are an initial "carrot on a stick" for men, it's what draws a man in, but looks don't necessarily seal the deal or keep a relationship solid, however personality does and intelligence can also help in that regard. Building a bond and connection will also strengthen things.

And not just men. I think women OFTEN follow this pattern in relationships, especially with the men they wind up with. While everyone else thought my BF was a "hottie" right away, I thought he was too tall, too beardy, and I wasn't sure if he was totally my type (cute guy, but I wasn't blown away or anything). Now? He's the sexiest man in any room. A LOT of women are this way, and yet they find it unbelievable that men might feel the same, though I know many men who do. Especially quality men looking for meaningful lifelong relationships.

October 19, 2011

Ruby, have you ever spent a portion of your life without the synthetic beauty aides?

It may take walking that path to believe it, but men really do appreciate natural beauty. I never wore makeup, or dyed my hair (and sometimes didn't even shave ) in my 20s, and I got plenty of attention from men of all stripes (professors, doctors, artists, hippies and non).

I agree that men can't tell true natural beauty from aided "natural" beauty--but that's the point. They can't tell the difference. They think the freshly scrubbed girl next door looks JUST as beautiful as the aided "natural" beauty in the media.

I think this really depends on the man in question, rather than generalities. IME there are a significant portion of men who do truly fall for the 'synthetic' look, whether or not they realize it is synthetic. There is a reason very synthetic models are on the covers of FHM, Playboy and the like, and never truly the girl next door. Of course, there are men who truly don't care for such, but I think they are more the exception than the rule.

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Would you color your hair darker if you knew your bf's preference are brunettes?

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