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Would you color your hair darker if you knew your bf's preference are brunettes?

Eternal Sunshine

By Eternal Sunshine
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TheSerendipityFactor New Member

TheSerendipityFactor

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Well.. The way I see it you should die your hair whatever color YOU want! I'm sure you look great both with your natural color and your current blondness (I'm a brunette who has been highlighting in the past couple of years as well and i'm loving it! Gets way more attention for some reason - I guess blondes DO have more fun), but firmly believe you should only do to your body what you feel is right for you..

 

I don't think your guy would want you to change yourself! I mean, he's with you because he already likes the way you look, right? You shouldn't get all insecure over nothing..

zengirl Established Member

zengirl

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Maybe y'all are meeting a certain type of guy, SG and Ruby. Contrary to your experiences and more in line with what Nexus is saying (which I don't think is meant to deny that celebrities HAVE stylists. . . he just can't use examples that aren't celebrities because, how would we all know them?) about many men preferring natural beauty.

 

Granted, not all people CAN have the same degree of natural beauty. It's kind of a crapshoot you win or lose at birth, whereas synthetic beauty is at least a little within your control.

 

But the guys I've dated, including my current BF, have all liked me best with morning hair and no makeup on. It's not how *I* like me, though I'm not the very done up sort either, but they do like reasonably natural. Granted, I do shave my legs and such and wear deodorant and such, and I'm sure they appreciate those "not quite natural" bits. . . so natural to a degree. I mean, I think we can all agree everyone---male or female---likes some hygiene involved. I like it when my fell shaves and showers too.

 

And plenty of guys can recognize celebrities with natural beauty (that's yes, enhanced), like Natalie Portman, vs. celebrities that are almost all enhancement and look like crap without makeup (Cameron Diaz comes to mind, but there are oodles!). Which was the distinction I got from Nexus's comparisons.

snug.bunny Established Member

snug.bunny

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No, not if it was his "preference". But, if he wanted to see what I'd look like with a different hair color, then maybe...:D Men like when women wear sexy lingerie and the like, right? Or, maybe this is considered different because it is permanent (even though hair color can be changed back).

azsinglegal Established Member

azsinglegal

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I can't imagine you'd try to change yourself to become someone's "ideal". Shouldn't you be their ideal exactly how you are?

 

Sounds like ES doesn't want to change her hair so I don't think she should. Be who YOU want to be. If you like it blonde, leave it.

 

If I listened to men about my hair I'd have changed it a million times over.

Nexus One Established Member

Nexus One

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No one can compete with PhotoShop.

 

Yes they can. Not all guys are looking to date air brushed plastic dolls.

 

Ruby is right. Guys want a Laura Mercier version of natural, but that's still totally made up. They have no clue. :laugh:

 

I know what celebrities like Natalie Portman, Emma Stone and Mila Kunis look like without make-up from paparazzi pictures. They look like the girl next door. (beautiful ones at that though)

 

I am of the opinion that IF women choose to use make-up, then yes go for the natural look unless you're going specifically for something stylized.

 

But I know what women without make-up and without dyed hair look like. And I know that when it comes to the type of women I find beautiful, then I prefer them with undyed hair and completely without make-up.

 

Look, we guys aren't so clueless that we are "not in the know" about what women look like without make-up. Yet STILL many if not most of us prefer it like that. We also DO realize that there's a lot of photoshop, make-up and plastic surgery involved when it comes to film/advertising/media.

 

I (usually) prefer the girl next door look with no make-up and no dye over the Laura Mercier look, over the photoshop look and over the dolled up look. I don't know how to say it any clearer than that.

 

Maybe y'all are meeting a certain type of guy, SG and Ruby. Contrary to your experiences and more in line with what Nexus is saying (which I don't think is meant to deny that celebrities HAVE stylists. . . he just can't use examples that aren't celebrities because, how would we all know them?) about many men preferring natural beauty.

 

Right, when someone asks you "what's your type", then it's very hard to avoid mentioning a celebrity in order to have people visualize what you mean, because (nearly) everyone knows those people.

 

And plenty of guys can recognize celebrities with natural beauty (that's yes, enhanced), like Natalie Portman, vs. celebrities that are almost all enhancement and look like crap without makeup (Cameron Diaz comes to mind, but there are oodles!). Which was the distinction I got from Nexus's comparisons.

 

Not to mention that I feel people are missing my point. All I basically said was: "If you can't dye your hair in an attractive way, then it's better that you just don't dye it at all". I haven't been saying that women NEED to hire expensive professionals. If they have the skill to do it right themselves, then by all means. If they have the money to hire a professional, then by all means. But if you have neither the skill nor money, then go for the best achievable result, which is natural.

 

Besides, it's just a suggestion, no need to get your panties in a knot over it.

Edited by Nexus One
RiverRunning Established Member

RiverRunning

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What do YOU like about your appearance? I think too often women get in the bend of constantly appeasing, appeasing, appeasing a partner. What next - you find out that he liked his exes ultra-thin, or he liked them tall, or he liked them with small but perky noses, etc.? I have seen women devastate themselves - surgery after surgery, starvation diet after starvation diet, etc. - just to be a man's perfect woman. Then the relationship falls through and she's gotta try to adjust and be some other man's perfect play-thing.

 

Everyone is going to have a different idea of what is beautiful. And at the end of the day, hair is just hair. We are never going to like everything about our partners. And since he hasn't voiced this and he's dating you - I would assume he's very happy with your looks.

 

Don't rely on other people to tell you what looks good or attractive...you will hear a million different answers. It's enough to be crazy-making.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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I know what celebrities like Natalie Portman, Emma Stone and Mila Kunis look like without make-up from paparazzi pictures. They look like the girl next door. (beautiful ones at that though)

 

You're honestly fooling yourself if you think these women, whose profession and success is derived primarily from their image, are walking around with paparazzi following them without a stitch of makeup on. Yes, they aren't completely done up for the red carpet, but I assure you, they have some makeup on. They're not completely natural.

 

I know this because I've seen many, many celebrities in person...many at the gym! Haha

Scarlett513 Established Member

Scarlett513

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This is coming from a girl who's been there. When I was in my early 20's I dated an older, very Italian man who I knew preferred brunette, Italian women. I am fair with blue eyes and blonde hair.

 

I dyed my hair very dark soon after we got together. He never asked me to or even hinted that I should, and I never told him that I did it primarily because of him. It was fun for a little bit... I felt sexier around him knowing I fit his type better.

 

But it wore off fast and soon I found myself conforming to his "ideals" in a variety of other ways. It wasn't long before I barely recognized myself anymore, and hair color was the least of it.

 

Now this was an abusive relationship so my situation was different than yours. And im not saying you would go down that same road. All I'm saying is that I myself wouldn't change physically to meet a man's type. If he loves me (as it seems your boyfriend does you!) he will love me for who I am and as I am.

 

Besides, do you really want to be the cookie cutter image of all his ex'es?

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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I know my hair right now is the blondest it has ever been. I don't do highlights, I do block bleaching to get it to almost platinum blonde. I like extremes. As I said, I find it I look plainer even with some brown low-lights mixed in. If I were to change it, it would be something quite drastic, like reddish-brown or something.

 

Boyfriend said that it isn't about types, it's that my hair is fried from over-bleaching. He has a point but it's not that obvious when I style it nicely. It's only obvious to him first thing in the morning. He is apparently worried for the health of my hair (which I don't entirely buy).

 

I uploaded some pics: with my white blond hair, medium blond, and light/med brown.

 

P.S. My natural hair is mousy brown and definitely not pretty.

Nexus One Established Member

Nexus One

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You're honestly fooling yourself if you think these women, whose profession and success is derived primarily from their image, are walking around with paparazzi following them without a stitch of makeup on. Yes, they aren't completely done up for the red carpet, but I assure you, they have some makeup on. They're not completely natural.

 

I know this because I've seen many, many celebrities in person...many at the gym! Haha

 

I understand that. I realize that most of the time they do have some stuff on, but there have been situations where they've been caught off guard. (hey I don't like it as much as the next person)

snug.bunny Established Member

snug.bunny

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I know my hair right now is the blondest it has ever been. I don't do highlights, I do block bleaching to get it to almost platinum blonde. I like extremes. As I said, I find it I look plainer even with some brown low-lights mixed in. If I were to change it, it would be something quite drastic, like reddish-brown or something.

 

Boyfriend said that it isn't about types, it's that my hair is fried from over-bleaching. He has a point but it's not that obvious when I style it nicely. It's only obvious to him first thing in the morning. He is apparently worried for the health of my hair (which I don't entirely buy).

 

I uploaded some pics: with my white blond hair, medium blond, and light/med brown.

 

P.S. My natural hair is mousy brown and definitely not pretty.

 

I definitely like you as a blonde. :) But, I agree with you BF, constant bleaching of your hair will fry it out.

Onlyjonley Established Member

Onlyjonley

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Hell no. My ex wanted me to dye my hair brown ... I told him heck no. I like my hair blonde and if I do ever dye it, it'll be because I want to; not because of a dude's preference.

Citizen Erased Established Member

Citizen Erased

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I know my hair right now is the blondest it has ever been. I don't do highlights, I do block bleaching to get it to almost platinum blonde. I like extremes. As I said, I find it I look plainer even with some brown low-lights mixed in. If I were to change it, it would be something quite drastic, like reddish-brown or something.

 

Boyfriend said that it isn't about types, it's that my hair is fried from over-bleaching. He has a point but it's not that obvious when I style it nicely. It's only obvious to him first thing in the morning. He is apparently worried for the health of my hair (which I don't entirely buy).

 

I uploaded some pics: with my white blond hair, medium blond, and light/med brown.

 

P.S. My natural hair is mousy brown and definitely not pretty.

I can't see the photos, but I have seen you with blonde and it really suits you.

 

If your hair is unhealthy, you can always lay off the blonde for a while to give it a break. I was blonde earlier this year and changed it back for that reason, giving it a rest from the chemicals really makes a difference.

 

I haven't ever heard of a guy so concerned about hair. :laugh:

Pierre Established Member

Pierre

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Nexus

 

compare the two looks

 

Here's Emma Stone with a fairly natural look but still wearing some makeup since she's in a movie:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_viu77GQNe0Y/TUUFMJ4Wx1I/AAAAAAAAAiE/Iyum6fqE08U/s1600/emmastone7.jpg

 

Here she is with more obvious makeup and a less natural look:

http://alipstickeffect.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/emma-stone_red.jpg

http://fabulousbuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/emma-stone-blonde.jpg

 

You really find the first photo more attractive??

 

No contest!!!!!

 

the first photo is the best look for her. The other photos are a bit over the top and too much on the LA plastic look. It seems women don't have a clue about what real beauty is. I guess they want to look like a Barbie doll.

FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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I'd make him buy me a wig.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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Right, when someone asks you "what's your type", then it's very hard to avoid mentioning a celebrity in order to have people visualize what you mean, because (nearly) everyone knows those people.

To me, this just shows how entrenched your mainstream thinking is, and how unaware of the programming you are.

 

I would NEVER name a celebrity if someone asked me my type. The mere idea is absurd to me. I would describe a few physical and interior qualities that really do it for me, in universal terms -- not Hollywood terms. I recognize the Hollywood machine for what it is, and don't use it as any sort of compass for my personal life.

 

I dyed my hair very dark soon after we got together. He never asked me to or even hinted that I should, and I never told him that I did it primarily because of him. It was fun for a little bit... I felt sexier around him knowing I fit his type better.

 

But it wore off fast and soon I found myself conforming to his "ideals" in a variety of other ways. It wasn't long before I barely recognized myself anymore, and hair color was the least of it.

Excellent point. The most attractive quality in any woman is being true to herself. I think it's a loving, fun thing to do to consider your partner's taste in your fashion and styling choices -- but your own comfort and ease with it has to come first. Don't play a role for someone else. Be yourself.

OnyxSnowfall Established Member

OnyxSnowfall

Posted
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The most attractive quality in any woman is being true to herself. I think it's a loving, fun thing to do to consider your partner's taste in your fashion and styling choices -- but your own comfort and ease with it has to come first. Don't play a role for someone else. Be yourself.

 

Completely agree...

KR10N Established Member

KR10N

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No contest!!!!!

 

the first photo is the best look for her. The other photos are a bit over the top and too much on the LA plastic look. It seems women don't have a clue about what real beauty is. I guess they want to look like a Barbie doll.

Definitely not a good look.
xxoo Established Member

xxoo

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Posted (edited)
It's true that most women probably look better with dyed hair, as long as it's natural looking as in a color that is plausible and also fits their complexion. The reason is that there are a lot of women who have mousy, dull colored natural hair and men tend to prefer more vibrant colors. There are some lucky few girls who have naturally vibrant hair but not that many.

 

Is this mostly an issue for people with fair skin and hair? I know that people with darker hair also dye their hair sometimes, but there are billions of women walking the earth with stunning black hair. GORGEOUS hair.

 

Women describe hair as "mousy". Not men. When I was younger, a coworker asked me if I got tired of my "mousy" hair. I was confused. My husband has always considered my hair "perfect" and "beautiful". We love my mousy hair :laugh:

 

 

Also, even though men look at celebrities for their "ideal"....don't assume that means they don't appreciate natural. I might look at a celeb photo and say "I wish my ______ looked like that." and my husband replies, befuddled, "Your _____ looks just like that." Sometimes, they honestly don't see the distinctions that women see.

Edited by xxoo
somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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How about some pictures of natural looking women with with their natural hair cut and light if any makeup?

OnyxSnowfall Established Member

OnyxSnowfall

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Is this mostly an issue for people with fair skin and hair? I know that people with darker hair also dye their hair sometimes, but there are billions of women walking the earth with stunning black hair. GORGEOUS hair.

 

Ehh, dye isn't the only way to make hair shiny and or lustrous --- simple and natural oils tend to have a great effect at that :laugh:

 

There are other products, surely....... but as far as "ancient" hair-care methods go...

ThsAmericanLife Established Member

ThsAmericanLife

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If I knew a man had a 'type' that wasn't me... I'd move on... especially if he had the poor taste of letting me know what that type was.

 

Hey... I'm all for some variety. Wigs... different hair colors. Whatever. That can add a little 'spice'... nothing wrong with that! :p

 

But if his 'fetish' involves something that involves too much work on my part or being something I'm not on a regular basis... well, it just feels like there is no authenticity.

 

Can't imaging feeling very intimate in that case.

ThsAmericanLife Established Member

ThsAmericanLife

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How about some pictures of natural looking women with with their natural hair cut and light if any makeup?

 

Sorry... I don't post pics online. :cool:

 

That is me in the avatar though. No extensions. Not dyed.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Sorry... I don't post pics online. :cool:

 

That is me in the avatar though. No extensions. Not dyed.

Are you a Wookiee? I just see hair.

orion1010 Established Member

orion1010

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All my bf's exs and crushes have been brunettes. I know this is his preference, although he doesn't say it straight out. My natural hair color is medium brown but I have been dying it very light blonde for years.

 

It would actually be much easier and less expensive to maintain darker hair.

I just remembered that when I had it, some people commented that blonde suits me more so I am unsure :/

 

Do it for fun! You may love it if you have not tried going darker. I'm a dark brunette and all my ex's LOVED my hair color. You may find it really fun to try a new look. If not, you could always go back to your old self. ;)

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