Would you color your hair darker if you knew your bf's preference are brunettes?

[Eternal Sunshine]

All my bf's exs and crushes have been brunettes. I know this is his preference, although he doesn't say it straight out. My natural hair color is medium brown but I have been dying it very light blonde for years.

 

It would actually be much easier and less expensive to maintain darker hair.

I just remembered that when I had it, some people commented that blonde suits me more so I am unsure :/

[Emilia]

No

 

 

 

 

(ten characters)

[Dazdnconfuzed]

Forget torn... Absolutely you should... why not?

It is not a sign of changing yourself, its your hair color which is more your natural color anyway, in essence, he is more attracted to your natural self!

[ChessPieceFace]

LOL @ feminazi response: "How DARE you even THINK of doing anything to PLEASE a MAN??"

 

Response from an actual human being:

 

You said you're naturally brown-haired, and it would be easier to keep that way. You said your BF seems to like darker hair. Seems like a lot of positives?

 

So you're keeping it blonde because ... your friends told you you looked better that way? Well, it's possible. I know blondes that look bad with darker hair, and brunettes that would look hideous with blonde hair. Although, there is always an adjustment factor that messes with your head when making the judgment for that kind of change.

 

Did you ask your BF his opinion? Seems more important than your friends' opinions. Seems like the 2nd most important opinion, after your own.

 

I looked online cause I figured this would exist:

 

http://www.taaz.com/

 

Seems to let you upload a photo and mess around with all kinds of things including hair color.

[Emilia]

Please don't be so simple, it's not about feminism if the poster was a guy I would say the same thing.

 

When someone meets another person, they should strive to accept the other as they are, not changing them. You can't meet a blonde and tell her months later you prefer brunettes (I know it's not what the OP's boyfriend is doing), or a slim woman and tell her you wish she was plumper or vice versa. If you don't like how the person is when you meet them, don't date them. Simple.

[ChessPieceFace]

Everyone needs improvement, so saying "well, if you don't like them exactly as they are you shouldn't date them" is simplistic. Many people also have made poor fashion choices or questionable "experiments" with whatever aspect of their appearance. Additionally, the OP has a hair color which isn't her original hair color. Therefore she is already in a state of "altering" herself for others.

 

I'm too logical to see the problem here. Figure out what the best color is and wear it. The order of importance in deciding that is you, then your BF, then whomever else after that.

[oaks]

All my bf's exs and crushes have been brunettes. I know this is his preference, although he doesn't say it straight out. My natural hair color is medium brown but I have been dying it very light blonde for years.

 

Ask him if he would like it.

[EasyHeart]

We all have preferences, but they have nothing to do with reality. If someone asked me to describe my "type", I could do so, but it wouldn't coincide at all with the women I've dated: they come in all sizes, shapes and colours, and that's what makes dating and loving so much fun.

 

Attraction isn't based on any single thing. It's the unique combination of attributes that make you special and that attracts your boyfriend. Leave your hair alone unless you want to change it -- for yourself!

[Eternal Sunshine]

He already liked quite a few pictures when I had darker hair on FB and subtly told me that I should stop destroying my hair by bleaching it so yeah, he would like it.

 

However, all those pictures were when I wore tons of make up and were not what I looked naturally with dark hair. I find I need much less make up when I am blonde. Basically, *I* feel like I look both, older and plainer with darker hair. Many people have told me so. I even think that if my bf saw what I look like with dark hair in real life, he would *probably* not like it.

 

We had a conversation (I guess I keep initiating those talks) where he told me how on the scale of ideal personality for him and ideal looks for him, he finds that I have pretty much ideal personality and close to ideal looks (but not completly ideal and less ideal than the personality). He wasn't being a jerk, I pushed him into being honest about it. He also said that he knows he is not my ideal type physically but that doesn't bother him. That he truly loves me as I am blah blah.

 

I know he generally likes girls with: large eyes (blue or green) (which I have), dark hair (which I don't), tall (which I am), curvy but slim (which I could be if I dropped few pounds).

 

So I want to be his physical ideal, and the thing is I could be. I am working on slimming down - I truly want this for myself. But I am iffy about the hair.

[xxoo]

Only if you like it brunette, too.

 

It is good to consider your partner's preferences, but not to value them above your own.

 

Maybe there is a shade between dark and "destroyed by bleaching" that you would both love?

[Mrlonelyone]

No. If the man likes you he likes you as you are.

 

Besides there's always a way to tell if it's been dyed (NSFW)

[zengirl]

I think it's silly to dye your hair just for someone else, whether it's because everyone says you look great blonde or because your partner likes brunettes. Keep your hair whatever color you like it (within reason---I mean, I think professional guidelines on hair colors/styles ARE silly but I still follow them because it's even more silly to make a statement that hinders your career; this is a bit of an aside to your point, however, as we're talking light or dark not forest green or whatever).

 

In the end, as others have said, one component matters very little in attraction.

[Pierre]

Stop dying your hair. That is not hard to do.

 

In any event most men like the natural look in women.

[KathyM]

I'd suggest trying it--going to dark brown, just to give your bf a taste of what you would look like with that color of hair. You may decide you like it a lot and want to keep it for awhile. Never hurts to experiment. Many women, if not most, color their hair from time to time. Nothing wrong with that. He and you may decide afterwards that you really do look better with blonde hair, and you'll decide to go back. I like to change up my look from time to time, just to keep it interesting. I used to have dark brown hair all my life (my natural color) until just recently I changed it to blonde hair on a whim. Have been blonde now for almost a year. I like to change around the furniture a lot too. It can be fun to experiment with a different look sometimes. I'd suggest trying it. And I always suggest doing things to please your SO, assuming it's not something you are against. You can always change it back later. It will show him that you care about pleasing him. Just try it.

[KR10N]

Nope! My hair is already brunette... so why bother? I don't understand why women (sometimes men) w/ naturally dark hair dye their hair. It's usually beautiful and it just looks really shinny compared to blonde hair.

[KathyM]

Nope! My hair is already brunette... so why bother? I don't understand why women (sometimes men) w/ naturally dark hair dye their hair. It's usually beautiful and it just looks really shinny compared to blonde hair.

In my case, I usually change at least the style of my hair from time to time just because I like change. I'm that way in most aspects of my life. I change arround the furniture a lot. I like to experiment with cooking, with sex, with activities, and with my hair. I used to change just the style and cut, and would always bring in a picture to the stylist so he would know what I wanted to try. A year ago, I brought in a picture I liked and changed the color as well. I can pull off the blonde since I'm Scandinavian descent and most of my family are natural blondes (husband and 2 out of 3 of my kids). The dark hair was more shiney, but the blonde is more colorful and bright. I like both looks. I'm just suggesting the OP consider changing it up for a little while, just to see how it looks, and maybe she'll want to keep it for awhile. It's kind of fun to change your look once in awhile.

[Pierre]

Nope! My hair is already brunette... so why bother? I don't understand why women (sometimes men) w/ naturally dark hair dye their hair. It's usually beautiful and it just looks really shinny compared to blonde hair.

 

Most Americans see yellow as the standard of beauty. So you see many white people with darker hair going yellow.

 

This obsession with yellow is so high that you also see blacks and Asians with yellow hair.

 

Natural hair looks better:cool:.

 

I suspect the OP will jump through hoops to please her man.

[Star Gazer]

Do you take your eggs the way he likes his too?

[Ross MwcFan]

Just have your hair the way you like it.

[Ruby Slippers]

Basically, *I* feel like I look both, older and plainer with darker hair. Many people have told me so.

Light hair usually darkens with age. This is why so many women dye their hair platinum blonde -- to create the illusion of youth. When I was a kid, my hair was platinum, and now it's dark blonde. I have gone darker, lighter, and red. I always get the best response from the greatest number of men when I go lighter.

 

I might try it. It's just hair. It'll grow out, and if you don't like the brown, you can always go back to blonde.

[make me believe]

I would at least try it out. Maybe a light golden brown would please both of you.

[Kamille]

I'm of the "it's just hair" and there's nothing wrong with doing things to please your partner school. Two conditions though:

Nothing wrong with doing thins to please your partner

1) as long as it doesn't cross any of your own boundaries

2) as long as you're enjoying doing it yourself (ie, that one is not doing it because they feel obligated, they fear abandonment, they want to control their partner, none of which strikes me as the case here).

[Kamille]

ps: nothing wrong with asking him how he would feel about you coloring your hair. I asked my ex before cutting my hair short in the past.

[norajane]

He already liked quite a few pictures when I had darker hair on FB and subtly told me that I should stop destroying my hair by bleaching it so yeah, he would like it.

 

Don't change your hair if you like your hair. But consider what he's said...are you destroying your hair by bleaching it?

 

I haven't seen your hair, so can't comment, but a lot of people who bleach their hair blonde all the time do look...fried and dry and lifeless. It doesn't hurt to give your hair a rest every now and then and try a less damaging color, or let your natural color grow in. Most people look better with their natural color as it goes well with their natural coloring, eyes, eyebrows and skin. If you don't like it, I'm sure there's more bleach out there to go back to blonde.

[azsinglegal]

Nope, I'm 80% grey and no way would I go darker because it would show in a week.

 

Luckily, I've never had a man ask me this. I've dated several men where I was the only blonde they dated.

 

I did take my color down a few shades from light blonde to dark blonde. Try that first and see how you like it. It might not be brunette, but going from really light to dark blonde was a HUGE difference for me...and I really like it.