footballfan1 Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 (edited) I like this kid at school. Has light green eyes nice full lips tan and very long golden curls. We're both 15 abd the relationship is secret. I'd say the person is what my dream gf would like. This person is quite natural aesthetically pretty and looks like a female. They even have the body shape long legs graceful wider hips even breasts. We're young so most girls my age don't have that nice of a rack anyway. The first time I saw Max. I thought he was just an exeptionally taller girl. The guy I'm dating and have been for 9 months is socially a guy. He doesn't wear anything out of ordinary for guys my age it's just I always felt he didn't really seem much like a guy. Well anyway he's recently come out and said he's like transitioning. But personally told me that he has a disorder called klinefelter's syndrome and that he's always identitfied as femalementally and is partly in some odd way female. Yet he does have a penis. I mean I was drawn into him because of his feminine feature does this preclude me from being straight like I always thought? We've never actually had sex just saying. Only oral sex. He's too private about himself. Idk why. Maybe it has to do with this idk. And is he a transsexual? Or is he just a girl with a deformity I mean what is klinefelter's syndrome? Advice? I'm confused. That's all he texted me and he won't say anymore I'm just a little confused?? Edited October 18, 2011 by footballfan1
Cee Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 This is too big of a subject to answer in one post. But I dated someone who was trans (bio female, transitioned to man) and my first thought was, "Am I bi?" Here are some pointers: 1) Your crush M will teach you a lot. If you listen to her and ask questions, you will learn so, so much. As I read it, she is a bio man with a genetic condition where she is XXY. There's a great wiki on this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klinefelter's_syndrome Because of this condition and likely other internal thoughts/feelings, your friend is a bio man, but identifies as female. "Transitioning" is code for transgender. It means she is in the very long process of exploring gender identity and making a permanent, stable change from bio male to identified female. 2) Your friend may identify her gender in many ways. It's best to listen to what she says about herself. And work with that. 3) I see she likes texting like most 15-year olds do. But it might help to have phone and face-to-face talks because this a big subject. 4) There are resources out there for trans youth. I don't know where you live, so I can't help you. Google like crazy and find stuff - For example, I pulled this resource guide: http://www.genderadvocates.org/Tyra/TYRALinks.html I found this great set of videos on You Tube about a straight woman talking about life with her trans boyfriend (born female. Male-to-Female or MTF transgendered person). This woman talked so openly about her life and it gave me understanding in dating my male friend. One video from her (there are many): I searched YouTube "dating a transwoman" and found a lot of videos. So YouTube my help you too. It's great because you have real trans-people giving tips and their life experience. 5) You aren't bisexual if you aren't attracted to men. However, by being attracted to a trans-woman, it means you are not transphobic and consider MTF people actually women. I personally am bisexual, but it's not because I was with a transman. It was because I was sexual with and attracted to women. 6) Take your time in understanding your feelings and how you feel about your crush or GF. When people fall in love, they don't know much about the other person and it takes time. It shows you respect and like her a lot to learn more. Wish you the best in your dating life and this woman you are dating/crushing on.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 You won't know for a long time what your true sexual orientation is. Many times even straight men have deep worries about themselves and are challenged by fantasy at times. They face who they are when reality faces them. This is how I determined my sexual orientation. I am straight and I know so because I've not been romantically attracted to another man--but I had to live a while first for that to convince me that I can breathe easy. You however have had some reality already which will complicate that determination. For practical reasons you'll have to decide now which way you want to go and if being straight is more important to you that loving Max. Expect to be more like 30 or so before you can take stock of yourself and decide what real reality has revealed to you. Right now, you are just finding out you're alive at all. Good luck in your tribulations. I hope it all works out best for you.
Author footballfan1 Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 I still don't know what that makes me. she said she's not transgender just a girl with an intersex condition and that klinefelter is an intersex condition well that's what it said in the link she gave. I really don't get what girls with intersex conditions are exactly called. But it seems like I get a weird feeling like one second just recently all he was known to be was a guy and now all he wants to be recognized as a girl and not even like trans I think it's his aunt who he has having issue with. But idk. Thanks guys for the advice.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 I still don't know what that makes me... Reread the opening to my above post. You WON'T know for a long time until you've been challenged by other things in life. Right now you seem to have chosen to continue even though she has a penis. That's all you CAN say. It does not make you permanently bi, gay or straight. You just have to deal with whether or not the relationship is good for you two now. Trust me. You really can't know for sure how straight you are until you've lived many more years post puberty and right now you're only just past it.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Don't really understend what do you mean. How old are you?
ShannonMI Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 I like this kid at school. Has light green eyes nice full lips tan and very long golden curls. We're both 15 abd the relationship is secret. I'd say the person is what my dream gf would like. This person is quite natural aesthetically pretty and looks like a female. They even have the body shape long legs graceful wider hips even breasts. We're young so most girls my age don't have that nice of a rack anyway. The first time I saw Max. I thought he was just an exeptionally taller girl. The guy I'm dating and have been for 9 months is socially a guy. He doesn't wear anything out of ordinary for guys my age it's just I always felt he didn't really seem much like a guy. Well anyway he's recently come out and said he's like transitioning. But personally told me that he has a disorder called klinefelter's syndrome and that he's always identitfied as femalementally and is partly in some odd way female. Yet he does have a penis. I mean I was drawn into him because of his feminine feature does this preclude me from being straight like I always thought? We've never actually had sex just saying. Only oral sex. He's too private about himself. Idk why. Maybe it has to do with this idk. And is he a transsexual? Or is he just a girl with a deformity I mean what is klinefelter's syndrome? Advice? I'm confused. That's all he texted me and he won't say anymore I'm just a little confused?? Not that this has anything to do with the issue, but is OP really 15? Some of the wording doesn't sound like it's written by a kid. Anywho.... He's a female trapped in a male's body is what it sounds like to me. In other words he's a transgender. My heart goes out to people like this. Quite often they become depressed and even suicidal because they don't feel like they belong in the body they were born in. The only way to get over their issues is to start living their lives as the gender they feel they are or to have a sex change. His penis isn't a deformity. He just identifies with being a female, but he has male anatomy because he was BORN male.
ShannonMI Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 I still don't know what that makes me. she said she's not transgender just a girl with an intersex condition and that klinefelter is an intersex condition well that's what it said in the link she gave. I really don't get what girls with intersex conditions are exactly called. But it seems like I get a weird feeling like one second just recently all he was known to be was a guy and now all he wants to be recognized as a girl and not even like trans I think it's his aunt who he has having issue with. But idk. Thanks guys for the advice. Are you performing oral sex on him or is he performing it on you? I wouldn't know how to answer "what that makes you" to be honest. I'll let someone else answer that.
Author footballfan1 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 she says she's not trans because of the condition. Technically I wouldn't say she has a guy's body.
Author footballfan1 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 and I'm not really willing to answer details on the sex we have had.
ShannonMI Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 and I'm not really willing to answer details on the sex we have had. Ok no problem, just thought I'd ask because you did mentioned oral sex. Sorry about that. I actually looked up that syndrome online and it's caused by an extra X chromosome. It can sometimes cause men to have breasts. Didn't really say anything about it causing a penis to be formed. I could be totally wrong though. Does he or she (not sure how they identify themselves) feel they are a girl trapped in a boy's body? If so, then they are transgendered.
ShannonMI Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 she says she's not trans because of the condition. Technically I wouldn't say she has a guy's body. Well she has a penis so wouldn't that mean she's got a guy's body? And the condition doesn't make males THINK they are female. Or feel like they were born in wrong body. She obviously feels like a girl, but she has a male's body.
Author footballfan1 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 no not to her and not really to me. I mean she has a physical appearaaance of a female it's not mental or expression whether her actual curves and appearance is underdeveloped to be a man's body and the fact that she has a shape like a girl. I understand why she says she doesn't have a guy's body and that she has an intersex condition. I just now am feeling skeptical like couldn't a true transgender make the same claim?
ShannonMI Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 no not to her and not really to me. I mean she has a physical appearaaance of a female it's not mental or expression whether her actual curves and appearance is underdeveloped to be a man's body and the fact that she has a shape like a girl. I understand why she says she doesn't have a guy's body and that she has an intersex condition. I just now am feeling skeptical like couldn't a true transgender make the same claim? Yeah, I think she's confused as to what she is. As in if she's transgendered or not. Transgendered people feel they were born in the wrong body and are often not happy until they start living as the gender they feel they are. Does she say that? That she feels like she was born in the wrong body? She's young, so this is all a lot to take in. As she gets older it will make more sense to her I would imagine.
Author footballfan1 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 also she said 5 to 10% of guys with this identify as female and they all are considered to be intersex. Therefore she doesn't see herself as trans maybe pressure from aunt idk. But if it's true it's reasonable that she's not trans. Also to add to my last post I don't beieve a penis is more than 10% of the body there are more female or male characteristics besides private parts. We only go by that at birth because it's the easiest way to tell at that age. As we get older there are other factors than genitalia. Therefore can make one's physical sex quite ambiguous. Maybe it's none of my business but I somewhat feel it is.
Author footballfan1 Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 Yeah, I think she's confused as to what she is. As in if she's transgendered or not. Transgendered people feel they were born in the wrong body and are often not happy until they start living as the gender they feel they are. Does she say that? That she feels like she was born in the wrong body? She's young, so this is all a lot to take in. As she gets older it will make more sense to her I would imagine. no she has never said anything about it. When she opened up about it. She's content with herself but wants to do what she wants and that her diagnosis and development had helped her to go ahead and choose that. I don't think she's uncomfortable with her body completely seeing she has female parts and identifies as female she can't logically be uncomfortable with that. More I think she didn't like her role in life as being considered male and chose to change for that. Does anyone know how easy it is to obtain hormones to become more feminine? I mean could she do that and how could one know if she's lying or not?
ShannonMI Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 also she said 5 to 10% of guys with this identify as female and they all are considered to be intersex. Therefore she doesn't see herself as trans maybe pressure from aunt idk. But if it's true it's reasonable that she's not trans. Also to add to my last post I don't beieve a penis is more than 10% of the body there are more female or male characteristics besides private parts. We only go by that at birth because it's the easiest way to tell at that age. As we get older there are other factors than genitalia. Therefore can make one's physical sex quite ambiguous. Maybe it's none of my business but I somewhat feel it is. Well it seems she knows what she is so that's good. A penis may only be 10% of the body, but it does usually determine weather someone is male or female. Is this girl a hermaphrodite? That's someone who has both male and female parts. Or parts that resemble both male and female genitalia. Or does she just have a penis?
ShannonMI Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 no she has never said anything about it. When she opened up about it. She's content with herself but wants to do what she wants and that her diagnosis and development had helped her to go ahead and choose that. I don't think she's uncomfortable with her body completely seeing she has female parts and identifies as female she can't logically be uncomfortable with that. More I think she didn't like her role in life as being considered male and chose to change for that. Does anyone know how easy it is to obtain hormones to become more feminine? I mean could she do that and how could one know if she's lying or not? She'd have to go to her doctor and ask about female hormones. They will give them to her. What's going to be more difficult is to get an actual sex change if she wanting to go down that road. Usually doctors suggest that the person live a year or more as whatever gender they want to be and to seek therapy before they go through with the operation. I know a lot about this stuff because I watch shows on TV about it. It's always fascinated me.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 I feel for Max and people with the same situation. They need love too. But giving it to them is stigmatized without thought of that fact. It's a cruel world. It's not for me but I don't begrudge anyone else for loving such a person.
Author footballfan1 Posted October 20, 2011 Author Posted October 20, 2011 it usually determines one's gender but I think that goes out the wondow she appears physically female. She says she had no hormones or even lived as a female she just looks the way she does which to me means she's not trans reading stuff up. To have an intersex condition you can not be trans. She's got breasts and the body which is a female sex characteristic.
xxoo Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 footballfan, she is so blessed to have a friend like you who is asking these questions, and trying to understand, and referring to her as SHE as she identifies. Whatever you do, please, stay friends with her and support her. Friends like you, sadly, are rare...especially at your age. Kids can be very cruel about things they don't understand. Especially sexual things. What does it make her? And you? I believe it makes her an intersexed girl (intersex because of her chromosomal condition; girl because she identifies that way), and it makes you a straight boy attracted to a girl. If you enjoy her body as is, and it happens to have a penis, I do not think that makes you gay or bi. You are attracted to a girl with an abnormality. That's all. Now, if you WERE bi or gay, that would be ok, too. Bottom line, you both sound like very mature kids. I'd be proud to have a kid like you. Do you have anyone you can talk to about these issues IRL? Does she?
Feelin Frisky Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 footballfan, she is so blessed to have a friend like you who is asking these questions, and trying to understand, and referring to her as SHE as she identifies. Whatever you do, please, stay friends with her and support her. Friends like you, sadly, are rare...especially at your age. Kids can be very cruel about things they don't understand. Especially sexual things. What does it make her? And you? I believe it makes her an intersexed girl (intersex because of her chromosomal condition; girl because she identifies that way), and it makes you a straight boy attracted to a girl. If you enjoy her body as is, and it happens to have a penis, I do not think that makes you gay or bi. You are attracted to a girl with an abnormality. That's all. Now, if you WERE bi or gay, that would be ok, too. Bottom line, you both sound like very mature kids. I'd be proud to have a kid like you. Do you have anyone you can talk to about these issues IRL? Does she? Very nice post.
Mrlonelyone Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 I am a transsexual pre-op and if you have any more specific questions then you feel free to ask me. This place is anonymous so no one will know who said what. In a certain sense your crush Ms. M is neither male nor female so you are not gay for liking them. You are attracted to that about them which is feminine. There is nothing gay about that (not that being gay is wrong. It's just not the OP's identity or preference.) Weather your crush is Kleinfelters XXY or not is not really relevant. They may or may not be, statistically XXY and another condition (like Partial or Mild Androgen insensitivity disorder) are more common among MTF transgender people. Not all of us have such issues and, weather we do or not should not impact on how accepted we are. This post hilites much of what makes me a lonelyone.* People get all caught up on the transgender issue and wondering what it makes them if they find me attractive. Some men even act out violently. Thank you for not being one of them. This is me. I don't have the implants right now the ones I had there were too big. I think I only go for 500 cc's this time. *The issues that brought me here were my issues with women, with whom I have much less experience than with men. Men are simple and straight forward most of the time. Hence I choose a name that would fit a hetero normative mold for the sake of getting answers and not discussing gender/sexuality issues.
xxoo Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Mylonelyone, you are very beautiful! Thanks for reaching out to the kid.
Mrlonelyone Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Thanks. I hope the OP is able to sort himself out. Hopefully he will be able to deal with the , condemnations of some of his peers over this. All one needs to do to see this is read any comment thread on Foxnews.com that is related to a transgender story to see what many many people really think.
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