grkBoy Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Halloween is a single persons holiday. Thanksgiving is time for family and really who cares if you arn't bringing some love interest with you. Christmas can make you feel weird if you want a family of your own and something happened or you just don't have one. New years eve you don't need a gf but its good to have a date I wonder if people still have families who give them flack or other "comments" because they're single. "Still single? Your older sister has a husband and three kids already. What are you waiting for?" My heart goes out to those poor souls...and I'm thankful my elders are not like that. Valentines day is a great excuse to ask out that girl or girls you've always liked. I love the idea, but I always got the vibe from women that it's "coming on too strong", like you take an established SO out on V-Day, but not someone on a first date. I could be wrong.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 Ok now lets take it to the extreme. Suppose you are a single person, living in a new city with no family or friends anywhere within 1000 miles and can't afford to travel to where they are. What can you do then? That is if you don't want to be like this guy (http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/the-single-persons-thanksgiving) ___ Personally family around check to that. I have them around just suppose your family was like this. Without the children around.
aj22one Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Ok now lets take it to the extreme. Suppose you are a single person, living in a new city with no family or friends anywhere within 1000 miles and can't afford to travel to where they are. What can you do then? That is if you don't want to be like this guy (http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/the-single-persons-thanksgiving) ___ Personally family around check to that. I have them around just suppose your family was like this. Without the children around. Hitchhike to where they are? No seriously, you could volunteer at a homeless shelter/soup kitchen. That's doing something good, and captures the spirit of the season.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 (edited) @RUT Here in the USA thanksgiving is ... IMHO almost more solem, family oriented, religous, and conceptually pure than Xmas by a long shot. It is a HUGE deal. It's our national holiday. It celebrates the comming together of people who could not be more different the Puritans and the Wapanoag to give thanks to the one creator God that they had enough food to get through the winter (By logical extension it's as much a celebration of the earlier provision of food to the Jamestown colonist by Mamanatowick Powhatan and his daughter Pocahontas.) It is the kernel of what America is about. (We are well aware that things were not always that cozy... but they weren't terrible to eachother all the time. Check the average Americans DNA profile many of us have mixtures of Euro, American, and African DNA including yours truly.) That is the true cultural significance of that. It has become a holiday that is strictly for family and close friends. @grkboy: That is the holiday where family does the most badgering.... where after a certain age being the single and unmarried person there becomes really conspicuous. Even if your family is not the kind to badger you, and mine really isn't, it starts to get you treated differently. like "You poor single thing (Insert patronizing asinine things married folks say about meeting someone here.)" Am I really the only one who has noticed how common this sort of thing is? Edited October 18, 2011 by Mrlonelyone
FitChick Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 It never feels like a holiday beyond Christmas decorations in the stores. Where I live, it's just another warm, sunny day. If I had a boyfriend/husband, I'd be happy to decorate and cook for him and his friends/family. I'm a Martha Stewart kind of gal.
OneFootOut Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 I've been wondering if you are single-single, ie: no children in the house, or elders to constantly care for, if it's easier to just sort of ignore the holidays if you choose to? Go off on a vacation, or take it like just another day? I've never been an adult without children because I have been a mom since I was 17. I still have young kids, so I feel I have to observe and do my best to make the holidays wonderful and magical for the kids regardless of my own loneliness and inner struggles. I can't avoid the holidays, because that wouldn't be fair to my children. I've already been feeling that sting of still being alone this year, some days I dread facing all the traditions and couple-fun things, some days I just try to think positive and hope 'maybe next year'. Honestly, I have yet to make any friends that I could hang out with. I've had a couple big moves since the split and have been where I am since late April. I'm thinking at least if you are single without kids, you have that option of avoiding the holidays or hopping around to more adult events and kicking up your heels in the wee hours That's something I've never experienced.
norajane Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 I've been wondering if you are single-single, ie: no children in the house, or elders to constantly care for, if it's easier to just sort of ignore the holidays if you choose to? Go off on a vacation, or take it like just another day? Yes! Both times I've been to Maui on vacation were in December, just before Christmastime. I would have given anything to skip the whole Christmas thing and stay there over the holidays! Swimming in the ocean, or the hotel pool, or hiking up Mt. Haleakala, you wouldn't give a crap about "couple Christmas" if you even thought about it at all. I've never been an adult without children because I have been a mom since I was 17. I still have young kids, so I feel I have to observe and do my best to make the holidays wonderful and magical for the kids regardless of my own loneliness and inner struggles. I can't avoid the holidays, because that wouldn't be fair to my children. I always think of Christmas as only being fun for kids. They think it is magical and exciting; most adults think it is a chore full of shopping, wrapping, family fights at the dinner table, and disappointments. I don't see it as a couples time at all. The kids are the ones who care most. I'm thinking at least if you are single without kids, you have that option of avoiding the holidays or hopping around to more adult events and kicking up your heels in the wee hours That's something I've never experienced. Absolutely. There are so many ways to handle the holidays if you are single. That Wednesday before Thanksgiving is one of the biggest bar nights of the year - lots and lots of singles go out that night. For Thanksgiving's past when I've been without bf or family, I've had a potluck Thanksgiving at my place for all the other "strays" I knew - friends, co-workers, people from my yoga class or who live in my building...those have turned out to be the best Thanksgiving days ever. I've also volunteered (through a friend's church) to serve at a church dinner for those less fortunate. The Christmas season is full of company holiday parties, skating at city ice rinks, house parties, gym parties, special events, everything. It's also a fun time to go to see plays and shows - my sister and I took our parents to see Blue Man Group, Stomp, and Riverdance as our Christmas gifts to them over the years. Sorry to be so longwinded, but the holidays can be fun if you make them fun. Take your fun where you can find it, in whatever way works for you rather than focusing on the lack of a relationship. Your fun doesn't have to look like a holiday Hallmark card or tv commercial in order for you to enjoy yourself.
Onlyjonley Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 I'm in a fairly new relationship and my boy's family lives about 800 miles away. So he'll be there for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. So the holiday season won't be too different for me this year aside from having someone to exchange gifts with and to possibly take to a work party.
alphamale Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 Is it just me or does that make this the hardest time of the year to be single (or in a less than great interpersonal situation) My experience has been that many singles hook up during this time period (Nov - Jan) because they want company for the holidays. I don't know how many chicks i've banged during these 3 months.
veggirl Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 I never minded being single during the holidays. Halloween is hardly a couples holiday. Thanksgiving seems more immediate family oriented to me. Christmas...I guess that seems "in the middle" to me. But the great thing about being single at Christmas is a) CHEAPER! one less gift to buy and b) no arguing over schedules or whose family to see, etc. New Years though, yeah hated that as a single girl.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted October 19, 2011 Author Posted October 19, 2011 @Norajane. That's one way to handel it. Especially for the utterly alone people I spoke of who have NO friends and NO family of any kind within reasonable driving distance. My personal issue isn't being "alone for the holidays". It's having to deal with aging, demented parents whos constant personal reminder of mortality is not really uplifting. :| I would almost prefer being alone for the holidays. Perhaps I could spend the next two months living in Bermuda having forgotten my cell phone.
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