Is she Bipolar or am I an idiot?

[TeKkaman_]

Hey everyone,

Having some problems between my girlfriend and I. We've been dating about 7 months now and it's been going well up until about a month ago. Let me just start from the first incident. Ok, well her family has been trying to move and they recently sold their house and had about 2 weeks to get out. The week she was moving just so happened to fall in the week of my college engineering finals, and I had to study. I offered to help as much as I could but when the finals were actually upon me I needed all the time I could to study, and I couldnt be there to help move. Anyway, she got REALLY mad over this and said I wasn't there for her and wouldn't speak to me for days. I tried to point out to her that it was really important for me to study but I folded and said I was in the wrong. ( I know I shouldnt have but I was trying to keep the peace) .

 

Next weekend, she and I go out, and she asks to bring this friend along cause she was putting her on a guilt trip, so she comes. I try and be the gentleman and sit in the back and let the two of them do their talking while I fiddle with the seat belt clip in the back. At many points in time her friend keeps bringing up ex boyfriends my gf has dated and how hot they were, what was so funny they did, etc etc. And I kinda keep my mouth shut as I listen to the two of them go back and forth about it, and it pissed me off. After we finally dropped her friend off, I said "she was getting on my last god damn nerve" and a fight erupted from that. I explained what she was saying was really bothering me but she said it was really tacky for me to say that about her friend. The next day she called and said she could understand where I was coming from and she wasn't mad, so it was ok.

 

This past week I recently started a new job, and I wanted to go out with her to celebrate. She worked the entire week and had an excuse for every night. The only night I got to see her was friday and for the 2 hours I saw her she slept on her bed cause she felt bad and I tried to be understanding and stay cool about it all. Up until today she has still just given me excuses.

 

Finally tonight I'd had it, I asked her what her problem is and why she kept giving me excuses. She said I was being needy for asking to see her every day and she didn't want to spend every day with me, and also that when I asked her to do something it was nearly 10 o'clock ( which isn't true I ask her early in the day and get "I dunno" as an answer). My obvious thought was she's seeing someone else but she insisted she wasn't. I used not seeing me tonight (monday) as an example and she said she needed to watch over her dad because he'd been to the hospital earlier in the day. I understand he's been through surgery (3 weeks ago he got his bladder stretched) but she took it as I was telling her to drop her family and come see me, which I wasn't . I was just using it as one of many excuses. Then she said she didnt want to continue the conversation because I wasn't being supportive and hung up.

 

Now.......I'm at my wits end....I'd fallen in love with this girl and I really want to work all this out, but calling me needy and not seeing me for nearly 3 weeks is pushing it. I have never had a girlfriend that I didnt see at least once a week and I've expressed that I want to see her more. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. Am I being needy? Should I just give her space and wait for her to want to see me or what? Please give me some input I am running out of ideas.

 

Thanks,

Tek

[tiki]

I don't think she's bipolar. I think she's probably relatively normal but stressed. I, too, dealt with a boyfriend that hardly ever wanted to see me. We'd see each other only once or twice a week. We very rarely talked. If it were up to me, there'd definitely had been more time spent together. I've since then found someone that was more on my wavelength and all we do is spend time together! =) Hope that helps!

[HeyHey]

I've been dealing with the same stuff from my boyfriend, but I decided today that someone with value being around you if you allow them to miss you a little. If you usually call her every night, don't call her for the next three nights. If she calls you then tell her that you have a lot to do and she needs space anyway and have a quick ten min. conversation making sure everything's okay and then say you have to go get some work done.

I think she's telling you exactly what she wants: SPACE

I know that you'd like to believe that she has a mental problem and not face what the real problem is which is exactly what I do with my beau, but seriously, just give her some space. She didn't break up with you so she must still want you to be with her, she just needs space. Just give her space.

[clia]

She doesn't sound like she wants a relationship with you anymore, and this is her passive aggressive way of showing/telling you that.

 

Let's see...

 

 

Anyway, she got REALLY mad over this and said I wasn't there for her and wouldn't speak to me for days.

 

At many points in time her friend keeps bringing up ex boyfriends my gf has dated and how hot they were, what was so funny they did, etc etc. And I kinda keep my mouth shut as I listen to the two of them go back and forth about it, and it pissed me off.

 

she said it was really tacky for me to say that about her friend.

 

She worked the entire week and had an excuse for every night.

 

Up until today she has still just given me excuses.

 

She said I was being needy for asking to see her every day and she didn't want to spend every day with me,

 

Then she said she didnt want to continue the conversation because I wasn't being supportive and hung up.

 

She is flashing the "Not interested anymore NEON SIGN."

 

I find it very offensive that you use the term "bipolar" to describe someone who has changed their feelings for you. Your girlfriend is not bipolar--if you knew anything about bipolar disorder, you would realize that. And for all the people out there who are struggling with bipolar disorder, who include several friends of mine, I think your title is extremely tacky and offensive.

[BlockHead]

1. I think she is a spoiled brat. You are an adult and you have responsibilities. You can’t drop everything because she wants you to.

2. She is insensitive. No sensible person would talk about past relationships around his or her current partner.

3. Excuses excuses. I’ll never understand that. Why not tell the truth sometime? It would save a lot of time.

clia

And for all the people out there who are struggling with bipolar disorder, who include several friends of mine, I think your title is extremely tacky and offensive.

You should try to be a little more tolerant.

[flowergirl]

First of all, Clia, I am bipolar, and wasn't the least bit offended by the title of the thread. (It actually kinda made me laugh). Please be careful about speaking about this illness an for the people who have it. Tiki, I agree that his girl sounds stressed. She's just trying to figure him out, I think that's all that is. A little break from each other might be help, that way, they can each get their lives and emotions in check. Good luck.

[Ariel80]

Oh my God my brother's exgirlfriend was JUST LIKE THIS!!! RUN AWAY!!! She would constantly bitch, even when he had to come home and visit and spend time with is FAMILY for two days. She would bitch he didn't call her, when he was really in church with us!! She could never be pleased, no matter what he did. I hated it, the way she was so wishy washy and complaining and nagging about my own brother. OH my he ended up getting anxiety attacks over her bitch ass. Finally after 4 years of this bull, my aunt busted her with another guy, and my bro finally ended it. He now has a very nice, cool girlfriend that I just love to death. Get out while you can!!!

[tiki]

Chill peeps. This post is an entire year old.