PETRIFIED to tell boyfriend I was fired!

[SinkingFast]

I was home sick with the flu today, after going to the hospital they told me to not return to work for 2 days. I was planning on working tomorrow anyway. This is a newer job, but I was in no condition to go to work.

 

So I called work this morning and told them I had been up all night throwing up, etc. The woman that's training me answered the phone and said it would be fine to rest and come in better tomorrow. My boyfriend knew I was sick and staying home.

 

Than this afternoon I get a call from the regional manager telling me he was moving forward with a new applicant and that he was letting me go.

I offered to give him a doctors note but he didn't care. I left a full time position to come work at this new company.

 

Now I'm scared to tell my boyfriend I was fired. We have been living together for 6 months. The first 3 months were tough because I was laid off and the company closed down. It took 2 months to find work again. My last position was a temporary job that was going to last through December. But than I got a job offer for a permanent position so I left that temporary job.

 

I was ecstatic to find a real job with medical benefits and all. I think my bf was just as happy about it, seeing how he was paying alot of the bills while I was looking for work. During that time things were rocky. I was depressed about not working and he was getting stressed carrying the financial burden. Now to be in this position again and to be fired for the first time in my life. I have to find a way to tell him this tonight and I don't know how.

Edited October 17, 2011 by SinkingFast
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[ChessPieceFace]

Seems like grounds for a lawsuit. They fired you for being genuinely sick.

 

Why would you be afraid to tell anyone about this? Life happens. If your BF is going to dump you for things that aren't your fault, or can't understand something so basic, then he isn't worth it anyway.

[azsinglegal]

Just tell him the truth. It's not unusual to be let go from a new job for calling in sick, even if you ARE really ill. I have a no call in policy for the first 90 days.

 

In this job market...50 new (healthy) candidates are waiting in the wings.

 

Chin up kiddo. Just live up to it and move on. Being sick sucks, but sometimes it's better to suck it up and go into work then risk losing a job. Better to be sent home then call in, IMO.

[SinkingFast]

Just tell him the truth. It's not unusual to be let go from a new job for calling in sick, even if you ARE really ill. I have a no call in policy for the first 90 days.

 

In this job market...50 new (healthy) candidates are waiting in the wings.

 

Chin up kiddo. Just live up to it and move on. Being sick sucks, but sometimes it's better to suck it up and go into work then risk losing a job. Better to be sent home then call in, IMO.

 

 

I think its sad that a company would rather me come into work with a contagious illness to pass onto other workers and customers.

[azsinglegal]

I think its sad that a company would rather me come into work with a contagious illness to pass onto other workers and customers.

 

It's not so much that, but depending on the industry you're in, how many call ins do they get?

 

When I was in staffing I didn't believe anyone who called in sick, even with a Dr's note. Sometimes managers can become jaded, especially with new employees BEFORE they know you.

 

I'd just get better and move on. Seriously, lesson learned. This wasn't the job for you. Another one is waiting out there if you keep your head up.

[Kamille]

Seems like grounds for a lawsuit. They fired you for being genuinely sick.

 

Why would you be afraid to tell anyone about this? Life happens. If your BF is going to dump you for things that aren't your fault, or can't understand something so basic, then he isn't worth it anyway.

 

I wondered the same thing: could there be grounds for a lawsuit here? If you have benefits, you must have signed a contract. What does it say about termination?

 

And I fully echo CPF's sentiment. This is out of your control. You guys had a rough time previously, but, look at it this way: you now know what not to do. Try to not let your employment status get to you and remember: you did finds a job eventually. The situation will only be temporary.

 

Chin up.

 

Chin up kiddo. Just live up to it and move on. Being sick sucks, but sometimes it's better to suck it up and go into work then risk losing a job. Better to be sent home then call in, IMO.

 

Great, now the economic crisis is directly linked to the rapid spread of diseases. If I'm sick, I stay home so that my colleagues can remain free of germs. But then, I can't get fired for getting sick.

[azsinglegal]

 

Great, now the economic crisis is directly linked to the rapid spread of diseases. If I'm sick, I stay home so that my colleagues can remain free of germs. But then, I can't get fired for getting sick.

 

The thing is, there are 50 people standing behind you for a job (maybe more now). Odds are, her benefits didn't kick in yet IF she was let go for being sick and they had another candidate so quickly.

 

My company has a strict no call in for 90 day policy. I've started jobs before when I've been sick and sent home instead of calling in. Then again, I'm not the type to call in sick either unless I'm so ill I can't move - but I can always move.

 

I know you meant well by not going in, but if you wanted to keep the job it was worth the risk to go in first THEN be sent home.

 

I stand by my post that this wasn't the job for you and another one will come along. I was off work for 7 months, alone, no BF for support and no one helping me. If I can do it, YOU can do it. Don't fall into a depression. Lesson learned, pick yourself up, dust off...and move on chickadee!

[SinkingFast]

thanks for the advice. I haven't told him yet, he is still working.

 

I don't think I was given a fair shot at this job at all. I was violently ill and living in the bathroom all night-morning.

 

Human resources called me late this afternoon and told me they were mail me my final check. I asked her why I was being let go since that was the first time I spoke to someone from HR. The first thing she said was I was adamant about taking a lunch break. Last week I noticed the woman that trained me never took a lunch. So I just asked her about it and she said it was just too busy for her to take one, so she just worked through it. A few days later my regional manager told me it was mentioned to him that I was asking about a lunch and he said that most of the time there isn't anyone to cover my job, so I wouldn't get one.

 

I was hired for this job with an 8-5 schedule and a one hour lunch that automatically gets taken out every day. I started this job 2 weeks ago and didn't fill out my tax forms until last week, I had to go to the corporate office to do this. So while I was there I asked about the whole lunch thing and the HR assistant told me I should never get a hard time about taking a lunch and that is was illegal for me to be denied one.

 

So I think the real reason I was fired was because they wanted a robot that would work a 9 hour day and not eat.

[Star Gazer]

Slow down people! A cold/flu is not a "disability" sufficient to trigger any protection or lawsuit. You guys are so litigious minded! In MOST states, an employer absolutely CAN terminate you for excessive absenteeism, including absenteeism stemming from a temporary illness like what the OP described.

[Star Gazer]

thanks for the advice. I haven't told him yet, he is still working.

 

I don't think I was given a fair shot at this job at all. I was violently ill and living in the bathroom all night-morning.

 

Human resources called me late this afternoon and told me they were mail me my final check. I asked her why I was being let go since that was the first time I spoke to someone from HR. The first thing she said was I was adamant about taking a lunch break. Last week I noticed the woman that trained me never took a lunch. So I just asked her about it and she said it was just too busy for her to take one, so she just worked through it. A few days later my regional manager told me it was mentioned to him that I was asking about a lunch and he said that most of the time there isn't anyone to cover my job, so I wouldn't get one.

 

I was hired for this job with an 8-5 schedule and a one hour lunch that automatically gets taken out every day. I started this job 2 weeks ago and didn't fill out my tax forms until last week, I had to go to the corporate office to do this. So while I was there I asked about the whole lunch thing and the HR assistant told me I should never get a hard time about taking a lunch and that is was illegal for me to be denied one.

 

So I think the real reason I was fired was because they wanted a robot that would work a 9 hour day and not eat.

 

Okay, now THAT is illegal. That's a wage/hour violation and retaliation.

 

But I still wouldn't sue over it.

[zengirl]

Part of my job (I manage an education nonprofit) is hiring staff, terminating staff, etc. I can terminate anyone for almost any reason, including a temporary illness, within 90 days. I can terminate for NO reason within 90 days. Depends on the state, but most states have a 90 day sort of "trial" period.

 

(I wouldn't in the situation like the OP with a hospital note because my staff work with kids and I cannot have them passing contagious diseases around anyway. But I could, unless we had sent them home.)

[azsinglegal]

thanks for the advice. I haven't told him yet, he is still working.

 

I don't think I was given a fair shot at this job at all. I was violently ill and living in the bathroom all night-morning.

 

Human resources called me late this afternoon and told me they were mail me my final check. I asked her why I was being let go since that was the first time I spoke to someone from HR. The first thing she said was I was adamant about taking a lunch break. Last week I noticed the woman that trained me never took a lunch. So I just asked her about it and she said it was just too busy for her to take one, so she just worked through it. A few days later my regional manager told me it was mentioned to him that I was asking about a lunch and he said that most of the time there isn't anyone to cover my job, so I wouldn't get one.

 

I was hired for this job with an 8-5 schedule and a one hour lunch that automatically gets taken out every day. I started this job 2 weeks ago and didn't fill out my tax forms until last week, I had to go to the corporate office to do this. So while I was there I asked about the whole lunch thing and the HR assistant told me I should never get a hard time about taking a lunch and that is was illegal for me to be denied one.

 

So I think the real reason I was fired was because they wanted a robot that would work a 9 hour day and not eat.

 

Honestly, I think they just wanted you gone for one reason or another. And like I said - this job obviously wasn't for you. Pick yourself up and move on. Sounds like a crappy place to work anyway. I know you were waiting for a job with benefits - but this doesn't sound like a good choice. What did your BF say when he got home?

 

Part of my job (I manage an education nonprofit) is hiring staff, terminating staff, etc. I can terminate anyone for almost any reason, including a temporary illness, within 90 days. I can terminate for NO reason within 90 days. Depends on the state, but most states have a 90 day sort of "trial" period.

 

(I wouldn't in the situation like the OP with a hospital note because my staff work with kids and I cannot have them passing contagious diseases around anyway. But I could, unless we had sent them home.)

 

Thank you! This is exactly what I said.

[Els]

Legality aside...

 

I think you need to give your R some serious thought if you're PETRIFIED to tell your bf about something that you have no control over.

 

And you had no control over it. Really, considering how trigger-happy that company was in dumping you for calling in sick, I'm not so sure they would have retained you if you came in sneezing and coughing and puking all the time.

 

Why do you think he won't understand that?

[aj22one]

Legality aside...

 

I think you need to give your R some serious thought if you're PETRIFIED to tell your bf about something that you have no control over.

 

And you had no control over it. Really, considering how trigger-happy that company was in dumping you for calling in sick, I'm not so sure they would have retained you if you came in sneezing and coughing and puking all the time.

 

Why do you think he won't understand that?

 

Yeah this is pretty true. Back when I worked retail I came in once when I had the flu (fever, coughing, and all). I got a verbal (and unofficial) reprimand for being so "irresponsible" for exposing employees and customers to my germs. I didn't get fired but still.

 

OP you should be able to be honest with your SO.

[azsinglegal]

Legality aside...

 

I think you need to give your R some serious thought if you're PETRIFIED to tell your bf about something that you have no control over.

 

And you had no control over it. Really, considering how trigger-happy that company was in dumping you for calling in sick, I'm not so sure they would have retained you if you came in sneezing and coughing and puking all the time.

 

Why do you think he won't understand that?

 

Or maybe she's petrified to tell him because he told her not to call in on a new job and did it anyway? Somehow...I can *hear* someone saying this.

 

On the other hand, I've been off work and it adds a lot of stress to a relationship. Being let go for calling in sick to a new job, I could see how the BF would flip out.

 

We really only know one side of this situation.

[SinkingFast]

feel the same thing

 

 

He is the one that took me to the hospital. He encouraged me to stay in. I was up all night throwing up and not in condition to drive. He was afraid I may have gotten food poisoning.

[Els]

Then why are you so afraid to tell him?

[musemaj11]

I can understand if your bf might be a little upset by you getting fired. But you are a woman. Being jobless wont be as punishing to you as if you were a man..

Edited October 19, 2011 by musemaj11

[Els]

Or maybe she's petrified to tell him because he told her not to call in on a new job and did it anyway? Somehow...I can *hear* someone saying this.

 

On the other hand, I've been off work and it adds a lot of stress to a relationship. Being let go for calling in sick to a new job, I could see how the BF would flip out.

 

We really only know one side of this situation.

 

Az, has it been your experience that a partner (and I mean a good partner, not a partner that you should actually be leaving and have not done so yet) would 'flip out' over you being fired because you called in sick when you genuinely were sick? If it has been, I feel sorry for you.

 

It also leaves a bad taste in my mouth how flippantly you defend an employer who does that by saying they have '50 other people waiting in line'. I guess it is the way the world works, but it just reeks of lack of empathy and humanity. It really is akin to defending a celebrity cheating on his/her partner because there are '50 other men/women waiting in line to date him/her' - sure, it's not illegal, it's true, it happens. But it's just sad.

[aj22one]

 

It also leaves a bad taste in my mouth how flippantly you defend an employer who does that by saying they have '50 other people waiting in line'. I guess it is the way the world works, but it just reeks of lack of empathy and humanity. It really is akin to defending a celebrity cheating on his/her partner because there are '50 other men/women waiting in line to date him/her' - sure, it's not illegal, it's true, it happens. But it's just sad.

 

In my experience, employers give long time employees leeway when it comes to calling out. With a new employee, an employer has no idea whether they're calling out because they're playing hooky or because they're genuinely ill. An employer is running a business, not a charity, so he/she has to worry about the bottom line. Why put up with a worker who potentially has bad work ethnics when there are plenty of replacements available.

 

Totally different from cheating though, so it's kind of a disingenous comparison.

[azsinglegal]

Az, has it been your experience that a partner (and I mean a good partner, not a partner that you should actually be leaving and have not done so yet) would 'flip out' over you being fired because you called in sick when you genuinely were sick? If it has been, I feel sorry for you.

 

It also leaves a bad taste in my mouth how flippantly you defend an employer who does that by saying they have '50 other people waiting in line'. I guess it is the way the world works, but it just reeks of lack of empathy and humanity. It really is akin to defending a celebrity cheating on his/her partner because there are '50 other men/women waiting in line to date him/her' - sure, it's not illegal, it's true, it happens. But it's just sad.

 

Cheating celebrities and jobs have nothing to do with each other. Sheesh...

 

You're right, I was wrong...since they just cut out federal unemployment and extentions are also no longer availalbe to those that are unemployed there's probably 100 people waiting for her job, not just 50.

 

Flippant? No...Realistic.

[Ariadne]

But than I got a job offer.

 

better to suck it up and go into work then risk losing a job

 

(Sigh!)

 

Sorry about that SinkingFast.

 

But if you managed to get that job you can get another. Hope you feel better soon.

[Disillusioned_Wife]

Depending on where you live, you can take them to the labor board for wrongful dismissal.

 

Keep that doc note and document document document. Then find out what labor laws you have in your area, who handles the complaints and take them on. That is BS all the way.

 

No shame in telling either, you'll need the support.

[Negative Nancy]

I think its sad that a company would rather me come into work with a contagious illness to pass onto other workers and customers.

 

Exactly. The attitude represented by azsinglegal and stargazer is not just shocking, but also dangerous. If you do not get proper rest, even a little cold can damage your heart and potentially kill you. Of course that doesn't happen to everybody but ever since the time it happened to me because I did not take care of a cold appropriately and the virus spread to my heart (myocarditis), I will never put a job above my health again.

 

Put this way: there's lots of jobs out there, but I only have one health and one life.

 

Screw those employers who expect us to be robots and machines. I mean, stretching this analogy further, even machines sometimes act up and need to be repaired, yet us humans are expected to perform 100 % all the time? F that in the A. Work life is already stressful enough, I am not gonna go to work when I feel like having been hit by a truck. Not to mention that the boss certainly wouldn't be thrilled if a) my impaired concentration ****s up my performance and I make mistakes and b) I spread the nasty viruses to other co-workers and in the end he's gonna lose 5 co-workers instead of just 1.

 

Yes, the employer is running a business and not a charity, but they should get an update on employee motivation and how satisfaction of employees significantly increases productivity...some big companies have already realized that and make sure the employers LIKE coming to work instead of creating an atmosphere of fear...it also unbelievable how one poster pretty much implied that when a new employee calls in sick, they don't know if they are REALLY sick or just too lazy...wow, what has this world come to if there already is such a distrustful assumption and one can't even be genuinely sick...

 

I just started a new job and if I got seriously sick, I would call in sick and stay home as long as the doctor sees fit on the sick note. So don't feel bad about it, OP, just focus the energy on a new job. :-) Don't waste your time dwelling on it. After all, the reason they fired you was something you couldn't do anything about, and it's damn unlikely you'll work with such judgmental losers the next time, right? Right? :-)

 

ETA:

 

A few days later my regional manager told me it was mentioned to him that I was asking about a lunch and he said that most of the time there isn't anyone to cover my job, so I wouldn't get one.

 

Wow, after reading this, I can only say good riddance.

Edited October 19, 2011 by Negative Nancy

[azsinglegal]

Exactly. The attitude represented by azsinglegal is not just shocking, but also dangerous. If you do not get proper rest, even a little cold can damage your heart and potentially kill you. Of course that doesn't happen to everybody but ever since the time it happened to me because I did not take care of a cold appropriately and the virus spread to my heart (myocarditis), I will never put a job above my health again.

 

Put this way: there's lots of jobs out there, but I only have one health and one life.

 

Screw those employers who expect us to be robots and machines. I mean, stretching this analogy further, even machines sometimes act up and need to be repaired, yet us humans are expected to perform 100 % all the time? F that in the A. Work life is already stressful enough, I am not gonna go to work when I feel like having been hit by a truck. Not to mention that the boss certainly wouldn't be thrilled if a) my impaired concentration ****s up my performance and I make mistakes and b) I spread the nasty viruses to other co-workers and in the end he's gonna lose 5 co-workers instead of just 1.

 

I just started a new job and if I got seriously sick, I would call in sick and stay home as long as the doctor sees fit on the sick note. So don't feel bad about it, OP, just focus the energy on a new job. :-) Don't waste your time dwelling on it. After all, the reason they fired you was something you couldn't do anything about, and it's damn unlikely you'll work with such judgmental losers the next time, right? Right? :-)

 

I'm sorry that it's shocking to you. You obviously haven't spent any time out of work and looking for employment. When you're out there, on your own, you do what you have to in order to survive.

 

To me, if that means going in sick to a new job and being sent home (probably pretty quickly) that's the risk I'm willing to take to protect myself. Most states are "at will" employment, which means they can let you go at any time for no reason at all. But being new a job is even MORE pressure to perform IMO.

 

I've gone into work throwing up in my garbage can until my assistant showed up. I've gone in so sick I had to have help standing because my kidney infection was out of control. I go in sick. THIS is a different work ethic then most maybe...I don't have someone to help me out if I lose my job.

 

I've said it twice before so I'll go ahead and say it again because I don't think it's clear.

 

This job doesn't sound like it was for her anyway. She had other complaints besides being fired for calling in sick. She was unhappy so probably a blessing in disguise.

Edited October 19, 2011 by azsinglegal