simpsonic Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Last week an acquaintance of mine finally tied the knot. I say finally because she had been dating her bf for 8 years. For the past 2 years she had been complaining about how her bf hadn't yet proposed, and it made me wonder why it had taken him so long. Personally it would be a red flag to me...if I was dating someone that long and he never proposed, I would think of him as a commitment phobe and move on, as that's not what I want. So I was wondering, for those of you who have been in a relationship for more than three years without proposing, what were your reasons?
louise_23 Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Last week an acquaintance of mine finally tied the knot. I say finally because she had been dating her bf for 8 years. For the past 2 years she had been complaining about how her bf hadn't yet proposed, and it made me wonder why it had taken him so long. Personally it would be a red flag to me...if I was dating someone that long and he never proposed, I would think of him as a commitment phobe and move on, as that's not what I want. So I was wondering, for those of you who have been in a relationship for more than three years without proposing, what were your reasons? well i was in one for 6 and i really wanted him to ask me to marry him. he didnt, and we split up. i stayed because i was still hopeful but eventually it became kinda clear we werent going to get married or have kids, and 6yrs was long enough to waste on someone that didnt want a "next level" so to speak. be interested to know the guys point of view on this though.
ChessPieceFace Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I haven't, but if I had, my reasons would be to never get married, since nowadays marriage is just a trap for men, so women can ruin your entire life.
pandagirl Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I don't really have any personal experience with this particular issue, but I know plenty of now-married couples who dated for 5+ years and ended up married without any drama or problems. My brother dated his wife for eight years before he proposed, wasn't an issue for his wife. In all these cases, none of these women were pressing the issue. They were happy and secure in the relationship as it was, and of course marriage was discussed in these instances, but it was never a "goal" for any of them. Everything just happened organically.
Cypress25 Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Age could also be a factor. Some people marry their high school sweetheart, in which case they would probably date for at least 5 years before getting engaged. There's no reason to rush into marriage when you're so young. Of course, there's no reason to rush into marriage at any age. Most people wouldn't consider 3 years a rush (assuming they're old enough to get married), but some people like to take their time when making a big decision. And it's not always the man. It doesn't necessarily mean they're afraid of commitment, it could mean they're just cautious in general. When you're talking about spending the rest of your life with someone, 3 years is just the tip of the iceberg.
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