geegirl Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 (edited) i think thats where ive been going wrong,acting on my 1st emotion,sometimes i have stepped back and not responded but that wasnt enough,i know i have done alot of things wrong in this past 5 weeks but believe me,i have tried my hardest to get over her,ive just been weak and gave in too easily when she contacted me,my own fault i know,i need to be stronger now,just hope my friend comes today,she posted it on my fb that she was coming at 4pm so fingers crossed as i havent seen her in like 2 years,think i better set my fb to private now too or thats gonig to be another argument. You've spent 5 weeks on the same old routine with her and it's produced nothing for you except more hurt and confusion. Repeating the same things but expecting different results. That's the definition of insanity. If trying your hardest for 5 weeks is still keeping you in the same rut, then you have not tried your hardest. Trying your hardest would be doing the opposite of what you've been doing. Finding different ways to get yourself out of this. But from where I see it, it's been 5 weeks of the same thing. Set your FB on private because YOU want to for YOURSELF. Because you don't want her invading your space anymore. Why do you care if she wants to have an argument with herself. If you are setting your FB private to provoke a response or reaction, then you are doing it for all the wrongs reasons. Trying your hardest is doing the opposite of what you've been doing H. And that means blocking her on FB, defriending her, making your page private. When you bump on the street, ignore and walk away. I don't care if she's stabbing you with a hot iron, just walk away. Beacuse the situation will never change. That's being proactive. You have the phone to help you. In some ways, you have to help yourself. Edited October 18, 2011 by geegirl
Author headsashed Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 im not setting my fb to private just to provoke her,im doing it so she cant see what im upto anymore,then she has no reason to even try argue with me,we havent been friends on there for a few weeks but i noticed its not set to private so she could still see,its now private. Im gonig to do the opposite of what i have done this past 5 weeks,hopefully my old friend who's coming down will help me and take my mind off things,shes a tough girl,typical lesbien lol,and if my ex does try to contact me in anyway then my friend will be the 1st to tell her to f off,so ye,its time to be different now. i know i deserve alot of the flak i get on here after getting great advice and not really listening,but we all know what love is like,thats why were all here. i need to be this stronger person now,the person i was 2 years ago before i met that thing lol.
Chi townD Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Yes this is really important! You can see what happens when you do reply to her All you sent is "k" but she reacted to that. Every time you respond she will throw it back at you 1000 fold. The only way to make her stop is to IGNORE it. So she won't be able to text you any more, good. But she will see you walking the dog and probably try to start a fight. You need to disengage. If she shouts at you, ignore her. If she comes up to you in the street and blocks your path screaming and shouting about what a bastard you are, turn around and walk the other way. If she is shouting ***** at you, IGNORE it. If you react even in the smallest way she will do the same damn thing tomorrow. If you don't react she will get bored and stop. I second this. You've said your peace, now you are done. Over...NC for good. The problem is, is that she knows how to push your buttons. She knows the exact thing to say to get you to respond. And I have a feeling that you are the type of person that has to get the last word in when in an arguement. Don't do it. Your silence speaks volumes. Your silence will get more under her skin than when you respond and sooner or later she's gonna stop.
Author headsashed Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 I second this. You've said your peace, now you are done. Over...NC for good. The problem is, is that she knows how to push your buttons. She knows the exact thing to say to get you to respond. And I have a feeling that you are the type of person that has to get the last word in when in an arguement. Don't do it. Your silence speaks volumes. Your silence will get more under her skin than when you respond and sooner or later she's gonna stop. your right,i am 1 of those people who has to have the last word in an argument,but this time i have said my peace,nothing else matters now,ive had 1 txt off her about an hour ago but i havent replied,im not gonig to either,im gonna try keep myself busy until bed time so i dont get tempted to reply then when i wake up my phone should be cut off so theres no more txting.
Chi townD Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 There ya go! Just get through today....she may text again...Ignore it! Just get to the end...then, tonight! Crack a beer for a job well done! Get up in the morning and do the same thing!
Author headsashed Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 wish i had some beer pal lol,its like 8:40pm now and i goto bed roughly at mindnight so not too long to go now,i can see me just making it haha,i just keep reading other peoples posts because it kind of takes my mind off things for a while,and when ive read them all i just find another site and read posts on there,i suppose it just kills time until bedtime.
Author headsashed Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 an hour and half till bedtime woohoo,but im gritting my teeth now as im getting abuse from her,but im not biting,tis is why im typing on here lol,come on bedtime,hurry!!!!
Chi townD Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 She still texting you? What part of never contact me again does she NOT get?
Author headsashed Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 She still texting you? What part of never contact me again does she NOT get? who knows lol,im like 10 mins from a beer,if i had 1 grrrr
Author headsashed Posted October 20, 2011 Author Posted October 20, 2011 a little update,im still standing strong bad news is,my phone never got cut off,no idea why because no money was in my bank and i dont have any over draft,very strange,ive had a few txts from her but i havent replied once,she did send me 1 long txt that got to me,wasnt a nasty txt,but i still never replied. Last night was strange for me too,id been fine all day and everything just seem to hit me for some reason,it was like all the 2 years just came at once,it killed me tbh but i still never contacted her,maybe it was reality setting in? i dunno,but boy did i hurt last night.
Chi townD Posted October 20, 2011 Posted October 20, 2011 Welcome to true NC. You're gonna have a lot of ups and downs. It a roller coaster of emotions. But if you stay true NC, the ride ends at some point.
Author headsashed Posted October 22, 2011 Author Posted October 22, 2011 ive stuck to NC still yay,but ive been having a real tough time the past few days,ive been breaking down alot,crying etc,i might be a 31 year old but i admit i have cried so much,i dont know whats wrong with me,last night i was pretty messed up and she started abusing me,i never responded to her but it was super hurting me even more so out of anger i just chucked my phone and broke it,stupid i know but now i ant even respond or anything,which is a good thing if the temptation did come back. Why do i keep breaking down these past few days? ive not been drinking or anything,ive not ate either,its stupid
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