Smiley2508 Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Well here it goes. My ex and I had been going out 8 months, until I foolishly got cold feet and decided to end it. However we both agreed to keep having sex, a 'friends with benefits' kind of deal. We made a couple of attempts to get back together although each time I started getting mixed feelings and decided against it, to her dismay. She would constantly tell me she still had feelings for me and wanted me back and I was never able to make the decision. In the 12 months, I considered it to be a relationship. Although I didn't ever tell her that but we both fully monogamous. She started spending time with a mate of mine, consoling him over his break up. But anyway 2 weeks after that, only 4 days after the last time we saw each other she told me, they we're 'dating'. I stormed off, pleaded my case all the etc., however the 2 days later on a cooler head I talked to her. Explained my love but said I was happy she was happy and that I can't be sad for long. So anyway it's been 1 1/2 months since they started going out. My month of NC was fairly successful with her texting me a few times. “I miss talking to you", "Are you alright? I just wanted to check :)" and "I still wanna be friends" being the general jist of her communications. I replied within an hour and said I was happy moving on etc. and I was happy she was happy then cut the conversation off. I've only just started talking to her via text, although sometimes her replies are long apart but then so are mine. I try to sub consciously remind her of the good times but I seem to be getting fairly positive replies absolute no negativity although she does mention her current a lot. I saw her last week in person, we ended up having lunch. She couldn't stop talking about my mate the current bf. I tried to shrug it off and smile; I mentioned a girl and quickly changed the subject. And everything seemed fine as far as I could tell. I know she still has feelings for me, she has told two people that and that info was passed on to me. And I’ve talked to her current(my mate) like usual, although he did dog me I’m not going to ruin a friendship over a possible minor relationship. Honestly I know my lack of experience with relationships and age, as well as the fact of wanting something I can’t have is affecting my emotions but I can’t help but feel it, I don’t need her back I want her back. I’m relying on the fact that it’s a rebound for both of them as well as I’m still talking to her and getting positive friendly replies. My real question is do I actually stand a worthwhile chance or am I kidding myself and should I just move on and live life.
jean2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 this may not help... but i am in a very similar situation. except... im in your ex's situation. almost, see my boyfriend and i are currently in that 'limbo' state. dont know what we want etc. but a very good friend of his, who is also my best friends brother has recently admitted feelings to me, which i cannot deny myself... i personally am really hesitating to do anything about the situation. i still have feelings for my ex, but also am cautious to something new. and am especially worried about their friendship because i know it would end. so, being in your ex's situation i would say that she assumed you wanted to move on, so thats what she did. she moved on. and you think you have feelings for her because youve been with her so long that you dont like seeing her with someone else while you have no one. i recommend you get back in the game and start dating other girls. dont worry about her for now. move on.
Author Smiley2508 Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 I know I only have myself to blame, so i can't really be mad or devastated because it was my inability to act that caused the situation. I can wish and hope something may happen in the future, but she's happy with him as far as I can tell so that should be enough for now. Thank you for the advice, everyone else is do what your heart says or what you feels is right, and honestly that's no help at all. Because right now only she is on my mind.
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