seanmathews3 Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 As far as a guy showing attention, texting, and making an effort to talk and see you... How do i know when its too much, just enough or not enough.. Do you girls prefer a guy that shows little attention and keeps you wondering, someone that texts you a lot or a little, a guy thats always wanting or trying to see you, or should i lay low and wait for her to bring up hanging out. should i keep showing attention or let her know how i feel or say sweet things to her. Or even laying low but the few texts i do send are sweet or caring? Just wanna know what you girls look for or prefer, what turns you on or what sets you off? Guys feel free to give advice on what you do Obviously im into this girl, i really like her, but i dont wana go too fast or too slow.
montana15 Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 As far as a guy showing attention, texting, and making an effort to talk and see you... How do i know when its too much, just enough or not enough.. Do you girls prefer a guy that shows little attention and keeps you wondering, someone that texts you a lot or a little, a guy thats always wanting or trying to see you, or should i lay low and wait for her to bring up hanging out. should i keep showing attention or let her know how i feel or say sweet things to her. Or even laying low but the few texts i do send are sweet or caring? Just wanna know what you girls look for or prefer, what turns you on or what sets you off? Guys feel free to give advice on what you do Obviously im into this girl, i really like her, but i dont wana go too fast or too slow. It depends. I say this because, a girl who is just getting to know probably won't want you texting alot or wanting to see her all the time. She may find it creepy or overly obsessive. Girls do love men who put them first, and do it often. However, knowing when the appropraite time to do it is important. I think the reason why the nice guy finishes last cliche exsists, is because the guys who bend over backwards for a girl during the 'get to know you stages', come across as door matts or not assertive. You should take the initiative when when asking her out on a date. In other words, if you ever want to go out with her, you have to ask. Will she ask? Maybe. But why risk it. Sure continue to be sweet to her. Crossing the boundries is when your clrearly going out of your way, or saying VERY romantic things to a girl you just met. Being romantic is good. But like i said, theirs an appropraite time for everything. Including romantic things and things romantic to different degrees. For example. "I'd sacrifice the rest of my life to spend a single second with you. Because a second with you, is worth an eternity" (Credits go to me) That line is good if: In a commited relationship In a Marriage Bad if: On a first date If you two arn't even dating If you two just started talking its all about knowing where the line is, and taking yourself as close to that line as possible without going over. Adice from a fellow male of course im drunk, so maybe this won't make sense tommorow.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 It depends on the woman. If I go on a great date with a guy and we click, I like hearing from him daily after that-- even a text message or two at first is great. But I have more commitment-phobic female friends who want "mystery", and they respond better to less contact. I say do what feels natural to you. If a reasonable level of contact puts her off, she's probably not compatible with you, anyway.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Romance is "wanting"--not having. With that in mind everyone needs to make a lot of small decisions that sustain want. And one of those decisions is to not so easily be "had". I don't mean play hard to get but have some mystery and depth and don't smother.
Cypress25 Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 I certainly wouldn't expect daily contact. That's a bit too much in the early stages of dating. It would be nice to hear from him every few days though. In terms of dates, he would have to ask me out. If he didn't ask me out, I would assume he wasn't interested. I definitely wouldn't appreciate it if a guy expected me to pursue him. That's like asking me to be the man and the woman in this situation.
HappyPanda Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 I dont like too much contact when Im first dating someone... namely because, Im very busy, and its not that Im not interested in or thinking of someone when I begin dating them, but mostly because it takes me time to adjust to having a significant other in my 'schedule' and I wouldnt want him to come off as needy, and therefore, become a nuisance. I also need to know that a man has a life... an active social life, friends, hobbies, some supplemental happiness. Having activities of interest/strong friendships are really important to my life, I would need someone to understand that... so, not having them, is a non negotiable. Typically, if a man throws himself into dating, and comes on too strong... I tend to think he lacks these qualities... whether or not this is true, its a turn off. Id say for the first couple of weeks, communiques every 2-3 days is good, be it phone calls, text, facebook... with a date at least once a week. After that, the first 2-3 months, maybe communicate daily, in some form of another... still, if he wants to hang out all the time at this stage, thats a turn off to me as well. Id say maybe 2 or 3 nights a week. there's my 2 cents
FitChick Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Everyone is different. One size doesn't fit all.
ScienceGal Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 After a few dates I prefer steady contact, meaning several times a week texting, at least one phone call. It really does depend on the woman and the situation. I would be really turned off by a man that came on too strong. Have your own life. Talk about the things you're passionate about. It's important to have a strong sense of yourself, and it's attractive. Ask her questions and listen, and in future conversations make reference to things she's said. Be proactive in setting up future dates but don't constantly contact her. Also, look for queues from her, what is she doing?
FrustratedStandards Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 If the guy is texting or calling too much, personally I would tell him. Apparently people on this forum don't appreciate such honesty, but that's how I am, and i've done it before. Once I had a guy asks if I was receiving his texts (because I didn't reply often), and I said "Yes, and please don't send me so many". He got the point and laid off. By that time though I was already really turned off. I would say better too slow than too fast.
ChessPieceFace Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 If you want to have the highest amount of success, you should probably give just a little attention to like a dozen girls at once... girls constantly obsess over "OMG what is he thinking, what if he's thinking this, should I say this, blah blah blah blah..." Make yourself overly available and you kill all the interest and the chase.
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