mortensorchid Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I have just returned from a get together with my new boyfriend's family not too long ago. I had a good time, however, I can't help but feel a certain uncertainty in life. I posted on this before, please see this thread for more info. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t300877/ I like to pride myself on being a very reasonable person, easy to chat with and get along with others. You could take me anywhere and I will be personable and chatty to be around. My family, however, is not. They are, quite honestly, snobs. I am not considering bringing him home to meet my parents anytime soon, but should we become more serious, eventually the day will come. Only once have I brought up this issue before my parents, they said the classic "I don't remember doing that", therefore absolving themselves of the past like so many do. But, it's always there for me. The underline fear that they will do or say something rotten to screw up a situation before anything is even started. I'm 36 and I feel like nothing I do or say is good enough for them EVER, past present or future. I really need some feedback on this. Has ANYONE ever experienced this before? If so, what do you do?
Pasttense Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 You should very clearly explain their snobbishness to your boyfriend beforehand, so he will be prepared. Perhaps you should have more people there (grandparents, brothers/sisters, aunt/uncles...--a big family get-together) when you do bring him.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 At 36, why do you still care so much what your parents think? You cannot change their behavior. The only thing you can change in this situation is your behavior. If I were in your place, I would connect with them as best I could, prepare my boyfriend for their demeanor, and have as much fun with him and them together as possible.
Carm Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I can totally relate to what you said and I feel like your talking about my parents. They are both snobs and I have felt sorry for any man I've brought home. It's actually very embarrassing especially since I've been received with open arms on the other side. I'm 46 years old and yes I am a strong person and will stand up against my parents but at the end of the day they still behave the same. My parents are never rude but they are also not nice. I feel for you. You just have to prepare your boyfriend and stand up for yourself. Good luck.
FitChick Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Unless you are engaged there is no reason for your parents to meet your boyfriend. You are an adult and can make your own decisions as to who you spend time with. It seems like you'd only be asking for trouble.
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