WishingWell04 Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Hello everyone, I've seen a lot of research on the impact of eye contact in determining attraction. However, I haven't seen anything exactly like a situation I've experienced recently. I'm curious to get everyone's thoughts. While engaged in a good conversation with a beautiful woman (and actually a long-time friend), I dipped my head, look over the top of my glasses, and gazed into her eyes for a few seconds (in what I thought was a flirty way). Not only did she end up looking away, but she smiled and said "stop it" in a playful way. This last part is something I haven't heard of before. What's interesting is that I have known her for a number of years without anything progressing beyond friends. My gut tells me that she is attracted to me, and said "stop it" because it was a tell for her and she didn't want it to be. Any thoughts?
january2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 'Self-conscious and embarrassed' where my first thoughts. If you like her, ask her out on a date - you need to be specific about this. That is, it's not two long-time friends getting together for a chat. Unless you're in a romantic situation and she responds to you, all this reading body language is not really going anywhere - unless of course, you're writing a paper for college.
Pierre Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Many women (and men too) do not understand the signs the give when they are attracted to someone. I think she likes you. Eyes are the Window to the Soul (Apparently) Let us firstly look at eye contact. Eye contact can be used to convey sexual orientation. In fact, it may not only be a lingering look, but a visual probing. Eye contact plays a vital role in sexual attraction. Initially, eye contact is made between two people and then one looks away. This is because the person initiating eye contact does not want the other person to realise that they are interested in them. And then they wait to check out of the corner of their eye as to whether the other person is interested too! This usually happens at the outset when neither knows what the other person thinks, feels or wants – it is risky business. When a person is more comfortable with the other (two people can feel more comfortable with each other through their senses whether or not communication has yet been made), then long and lingering looks are made by those who seek to dominate – they literally cannot take their eyes off the other person! This may also occur at the outset and can be beyond a person’s control! Eye contact can also be used very much to command attention. Eyes can be quite animated, for instance, widening of the eyes to emphasize innocence or interest; or a slight squinting of the eyes which is often referred to as a ‘knowing’ look, the latter particularly so with a slight chin raise – men are good at this! (Be careful not to confuse the ‘knowing’ look with that of the squinting ‘hate’ stare – opposite ends of the spectrum!) For women, widening the eyes can be a good technique to use if you are sexually attracted to a man– men tend to find this very appealing and respond in a protective and nurturing manner (which of course we women adore!). Widening the eyes is really quite a submissive act to take, and actually cries out, ‘Wow, really? Gosh, you’re so amazing, I’m enthralled!’ or, turned to the self, ‘Please like me, look after me, I need looking after!’ It is even possible to read into a person’s eyes. If we like something we see, our pupils dilate. This includes when we are attracted to someone (although do bear in mind the brightness of the area you are positioned in, as bright light will cause pupils to contract). Furthermore, we actually prefer to see dilated pupils in other people than contracted pupils. http://www.cheshiretherapy.com/index.php/Latest/article-3.html
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