Is it true about absence makes the heart grow fonder, or out of sight out of mind?

[blackcrow37]

My ex and I broke up two months ago and he rebounded right away to avoid dealing with it. I got a call from him saying he misses me, that he feels stupid for just ending things and really stupid for getting with another girl so fast. We talked for like 2 hours and I felt we still had a lot of chemistry, but he said that he needs to figure things out and he's sorry he contacted me while he had a girlfriend while he's still confused (I got mad at him for it, told him I don't like having my head messed with)

 

But the thing is I love him and can forgive him, and hope that he'll choose to come back. So which do you think is the truth: Absence makes the the heart grow fonder, or Out of sight out of mind?

 

I don't want to be out of mind, but I do want to give him space he needs.

[mike111]

(I got mad at him for it, told him I don't like having my head messed with)

 

Right on you are, blackcrow37, and congratulations for being so truly tough and rock solid.

 

google.com has some great reads on "rebound relationships". Been there, done that, both ways...

 

Be well

 

mike

[blackcrow37]

ya i've read a bit about them, I thought that he was just using her to try and forget me but he says he actually has some attraction to her, its just really weird because he still loves me and he has to come to terms with that

 

how can you love someone and still be attracted to someone else? i just wish he would hurry up and make up his mind, I don't like being left waiting

[TLCbear]

So which do you think is the truth: Absence makes the the heart grow fonder, or Out of sight out of mind?

 

Both holds truth, sometimes it takes awhile for some to realize they still love someone or wants to be with someone again...usually after some time apart or dating others. And out of sight out of mind is quite powerful because it helps you to move forward.

 

 

 

how can you love someone and still be attracted to someone else? i just wish he would hurry up and make up his mind, I don't like being left waiting?

 

Anyone can love someone and be attracted to other people...as we are all human, therefore, not perfect. How about not waiting on him and continue to push forward with your life, if he truly loves you and want to be back with you, then he will be.

[Leegh]

I would give him more time, (possibly to the end of this year) and if you have not heard anything by mid-December you could send him a Christmas card, and say something about getting together, etc., and see if he takes the bait. I would make it a short one or two sentence note. In other words, maybe try one more time, then leave the ball in his court.

[blackcrow37]

ya I'm kind of figuring that I shouldn't fight too hard, like he's the one that left me, if he wants me back thats up to him, I'm not about to beg. I do really want him back though, we were together three years and I miss him a ton.

 

He told me he can talk to me like he can't talk to anyone else and misses me so much and loves me, but at the same time he does have an attraction to this girl which he feels bad about.

 

He kept saying he had to get going but then ended up having more to talk about, and gave me a bunch of hugs and kept saying he he "can't stop saying bye to me" and kissed me on the forehead before he left.

 

Do you think he'll come back?

[Leegh]

It sounds as if he loves you, but is confused. Possibly he doesn't even know how he feels at this point, sometimes it takes a person a while to process emotions. I'd wait for him to contact you, but if not you could try one more time with him.