Carm Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 I had a great first date with this guy, I felt like I had known him for a long time. He is very funny, we think alike and we seem to have a lot in common. He is cute but I wasn't sure about the chemistry so I agreed to a second date. Last night was our second date was much like our first meet in that we had so much to talk about. There was not a moment of awkwardness. After dinner, we went for a walk and I know he wanted to hold my hand if I had given it to him but I wasn't feeling it. I think he's cute but I think if this is going to work, it'll have to be a gradual attraction from my end. How much time would you give it? I don't want to hastily stop it because I do believe the best relationships are because they are also best friends and I can totally see him being mine eventually.
somedude81 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 I think he's cute but I think if this is going to work, it'll have to be a gradual attraction from my end. In other words, you're not physically attracted to him. Just say that instead of all this chemistry BS.
Author Carm Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 (edited) I say tomato, you say tomatoe. Ya, that might be the way you articulate that but it's not the way I chose to. For the sake of this post, okay let's just say I'm not physically attracted to him BUT I can also say that I think he is a good looking guy. Edited October 16, 2011 by Carm spelling
somedude81 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 The problem is that women use the term chemistry which really doesn't mean anything. It's like some word that's supposed to hide true intent and soften the blow. It's complete nonsense. Men don't understand the word chemistry. If you tell a guy, "I'm sorry, I don't feel chemistry towards you." He'll think to himself, "What the hell does that mean? Was I rude, did my breath smell, did she think I was stupid" etc. Of course telling a guy, "Sorry I'm not attracted to you" is very blunt and most women would never say it. But it gets the point across very quickly and leaves no room for questions. Now I'm wondering, if you weren't attracted to him why even go out with him?
Author Carm Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 Okay, I get your point but this makes me realize how different women and men think. Well, from a woman's point of view (okay well not all woman but me and some of my gf's) being attracted to a guy is more than just how they look physically. In fact, I personally have never been hot after a guy without knowing them as a person. The physical being is only one aspect, the rest are numerous....i.e. their kindness, their sense of humour, how I feel around them, do they make me feel safe, etc. I went out with him because he is a good looking guy but I'm not wanting to jump his bones. I'm not sure but I think it may be because he's hair is thinning and I've always been with men who have a full head of hair. But, I'm trying to push that aside because he has a really nice face. I think I may need to give this another date to see if I can figure it out...
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