verhrzn Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 How in the world are WOMEN punishing you because they hate men?? Yeah some women are satisfied with a guy gets hurt... Just like some men are satisfied when a woman gets hurt. (The whole "she wanted it" angle to rape.) People, both men and women, have their hatred and their prejudices. But why in the world get so twisted up that one poster doesn't have a whole lot of sympathy for men who are cheated on because they see it as social karma?
serial muse Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 I don't know. Tell me, Woggle, do most men feel that women are ants compared to them, as Elysian Powder once said? Nobody called him out on that crap, either, I notice.
Author Woggle Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 How in the world are WOMEN punishing you because they hate men?? Yeah some women are satisfied with a guy gets hurt... Just like some men are satisfied when a woman gets hurt. (The whole "she wanted it" angle to rape.) People, both men and women, have their hatred and their prejudices. But why in the world get so twisted up that one poster doesn't have a whole lot of sympathy for men who are cheated on because they see it as social karma? You sort of agreed with her. I just think that deep down many women feel the same way she does. I don't think that cheating is right period.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Hey, Woggle. In spite of some of your more bitter venting on here, when it's all said and done, I think you're one of the good guys, and that gives me some hope. For the record, I've never cheated and have never condoned it when anyone I know does it -- male or female. It may be the minority of people who have integrity and are faithful in love, but you and I and others on LS are proof that these people do exist.
Author Woggle Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 Hey, Woggle. In spite of some of your more bitter venting on here, when it's all said and done, I think you're one of the good guys, and that gives me some hope. For the record, I've never cheated and have never condoned it when anyone I know does it -- male or female. It may be the minority of people who have integrity and are faithful in love, but you and I and others on LS are proof that these people do exist. I remember one post where you sort of said something similiar but I genuinely believe you don't think that way in general. You don't have a pattern of posting misandrist crap like some posters do. The thing that gets me mad is there are more genuinely good guys than some women believe and it makes me mad when women who believe all the negative stereotypes about men then go and cheer when one of these guys gets hurt. Be happy all you want when a player gets their due but leave the innocent ones out of it.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I remember one post where you sort of said something similiar but I genuinely believe you don't think that way in general. You don't have a pattern of posting misandrist crap like some posters do. The thing that gets me mad is there are more genuinely good guys than some women believe and it makes me mad when women who believe all the negative stereotypes about men then go and cheer when one of these guys gets hurt. Be happy all you want when a player gets their due but leave the innocent ones out of it. Well, I think you have a tendency to confuse an explanation with a justification. You can explain the behavior of some women as a backlash against centuries of bad behavior by some men. Explaining why it happens does not mean you're condoning it.
Appleanche Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 The thing that gets me mad is there are more genuinely good guys than some women believe and it makes me mad when women who believe all the negative stereotypes about men then go and cheer when one of these guys gets hurt. Be happy all you want when a player gets their due but leave the innocent ones out of it. But you don't even do that. You lump all women into the same category because your ex cheated on you, but not ALL women are cheaters.
grkBoy Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 A lot of this crap is all stereotypes. IMHO I think too many men and women let one or more bad experiences paint a negative picture of love. That or observed bad experiences. I've watched many women in my life cheat on guys and get cheated on. I've seen loads of women who lament to death on how there are no "good men", but still show by their actions they want the hot untameable guy to become their picture-perfect husband. Likewise, I've seen guys who seriously believe it's ok for a guy to "have something on the side". Guys in RLs and married men who went to brothels for a bachelor party. Guys who treat "night out with the boys" as an excuse to toss aside the ideal of being faithful. Cheating happens and it's been happening for centuries. I won't play into the "man was not meant to be monogamous" debate, but I believe if you're going to worry every day of your life about being betrayed, then don't bother ever looking for someone...or just seek short-term flings. I've known insecure psychos who see me and my fiance, and in private they ask "do you think she's cheating on you?". I answer "no" and then I get the song and dance of "but how do you really know?" The reality is they want to believe so badly in the security blanket of cynicism they wrap themselves up in, but they need to find like-minded folks to build on. They know they're not getting dates because they act like insecure freaks, but want to blame it all on "women just want jerks" or "all women lie and cheat" as opposed to "I don't know how to handle myself in the world". Life is too damn short to get enveloped in paranoid fear. Do I think my fiance is faithful? Yes. How do I know? I don't. What if she cheats? I dump herI take some time to let the wounds healI try again I will NOT just decide to be bitter and hide. Even some then tell me those nightmare scenarios where she dumps me for some douchebag and then I'm paying alimony to support her and him...blah blah blah. My point is look in the mirror. If you're going to spend your life mistrusting women and believing they only want to screw men, then for gosh sakes STOP DEALING WITH WOMEN. But you need sex? Hire an escort. Get your rocks off and kick her out. Done deal. Unbelievable.
dispatch3d Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 she's just trollin. Chill dude. Also I'd probably be wary of a girl if she expressed something like that.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Do you agree with what was posted in the link? Oh, pullleeeeeeeeeze. You know very well how I despise generalizations based upon gender (race, nationality, etc.). Obviously, Woggle, whoever posted that has their own demons to fight, burdens to bear, axes to grind, path to walk, cookies to crumble. Or she's a troll. Whatever. Leave her to her own journey. She's entitled to feel however she feels, and to express it. It has nothing to do with you, or with the actual state of ANY dealings you will have with ANY women going forward. Mind your OWN beeswax and take care of your wife, your life and yourself.
verhrzn Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 A lot of this crap is all stereotypes. IMHO I think too many men and women let one or more bad experiences paint a negative picture of love. That or observed bad experiences. I've watched many women in my life cheat on guys and get cheated on. I've seen loads of women who lament to death on how there are no "good men", but still show by their actions they want the hot untameable guy to become their picture-perfect husband. Likewise, I've seen guys who seriously believe it's ok for a guy to "have something on the side". Guys in RLs and married men who went to brothels for a bachelor party. Guys who treat "night out with the boys" as an excuse to toss aside the ideal of being faithful. Cheating happens and it's been happening for centuries. I won't play into the "man was not meant to be monogamous" debate, but I believe if you're going to worry every day of your life about being betrayed, then don't bother ever looking for someone...or just seek short-term flings. I've known insecure psychos who see me and my fiance, and in private they ask "do you think she's cheating on you?". I answer "no" and then I get the song and dance of "but how do you really know?" The reality is they want to believe so badly in the security blanket of cynicism they wrap themselves up in, but they need to find like-minded folks to build on. They know they're not getting dates because they act like insecure freaks, but want to blame it all on "women just want jerks" or "all women lie and cheat" as opposed to "I don't know how to handle myself in the world". Life is too damn short to get enveloped in paranoid fear. Do I think my fiance is faithful? Yes. How do I know? I don't. What if she cheats? I dump herI take some time to let the wounds healI try again I will NOT just decide to be bitter and hide. Even some then tell me those nightmare scenarios where she dumps me for some douchebag and then I'm paying alimony to support her and him...blah blah blah. My point is look in the mirror. If you're going to spend your life mistrusting women and believing they only want to screw men, then for gosh sakes STOP DEALING WITH WOMEN. But you need sex? Hire an escort. Get your rocks off and kick her out. Done deal. Unbelievable. *Applause* These are the times I wish the forum had something akin to a +1 button. Very excellently stated. And no, Woggle, I don't necessarily agree with the original poster. I can see where she's coming from without necessarily agreeing. Then again, I didn't quite get the impression she was condoning cheating... Just that the poster was taking a "what goes around, comes around" stance. It's cynical and hard-hearted, to be sure, but it's not "Yeah all men deserve to be cheated on haha!"
AHardDaysNight Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Seriously Woggle, you have what many men would die for, yet you don't respect it. Sometimes I wonder if you like being miserable?
Ruby Slippers Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Seriously Woggle, you have what many men would die for, yet you don't respect it. Sometimes I wonder if you like being miserable? I get the feeling that Woggle is a great husband, and uses LS as a place to vent and talk about his more cynical, fearful thoughts to help him keep those out of his relationship. And that's a healthy way to use this place. Yes, some people here are going to be rude and nasty with their responses, but as many people offer constructive, caring advice that helps. I've "known" Woggle on this forum for 3 years, and I think he's clearly less cynical and fearful than he used to be.
Citizen Erased Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 (edited) I get the feeling that Woggle is a great husband, and uses LS as a place to vent and talk about his more cynical, fearful thoughts to help him keep those out of his relationship. And that's a healthy way to use this place. Yes, some people here are going to be rude and nasty with their responses, but as many people offer constructive, caring advice that helps. I've "known" Woggle on this forum for 3 years, and I think he's clearly less cynical and fearful than he used to be. I thin he genuinely had issues 3 years ago. Now he knows better but goes looking for something to cry over so he gets the "oh no we don't, poor you boo hoo" like every other thread he posts weekly. But I guess I'm just out of constructive, caring advice after his at least a hundred threads on the exact same topic. It was so easy to try to help for the first half... You're right though, he is a good guy. He loves his wife, is faithful to her, and cares about the people in his life. Even his mother he was still trying to deal with her. I have respect for him, all that he's been through, and he's doing as best as he can. And all of the crap he gets on here, I don't think I have seen him lash out at people even when they call him names, personally attack him/use profanity. I guess there's two sides to the guy, this thread shows the one that people don't particularly care for. Edited October 17, 2011 by Citizen Erased
Trimmer Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 (edited) If I deserve to get punished for crimes I did not commit why can't I punish women collectively? Nobody but a few crazies in your past believe that you deserve that. And possibly as a result of that, unfortunately, you appear to believe it as well. And it probably won't be easy for you to let go of, because as you show in this very sentence, it gives you cover and justification for your anger and aggression towards women. That makes you believe that you can protect yourself from the attacks that you perceive, so indeed - why would you ever give that up? Unless you choose to do some more hard work on that, you are probably stuck. YOU'RE BACKSLIDING. My thought too. Seriously Woggle, you have what many men would die for, yet you don't respect it. Sometimes I wonder if you like being miserable? I'm going to give him more credit than that and assume that he may not like it, but unfortunately, it does seem like he needs it. Edited October 17, 2011 by Trimmer
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Because you should do it for YOURself? And your OWN integrity? Why let others have influence over that? It's rather disturbing, actually........ I'm just the opposite of you... when someone punishes me for something I'm innocent of, I make sure as hell I remain innocent --- maybe you just need to be more defiant. DEFIANCE WOGGLE... why would you want to "prove" these people right anyway? And you should really consider committing to whatever it is that *you* are. You need to clearly define your beliefs and values and ADHERE to them (i.e, so that when they face opposition you have strength behind them... [not suggesting you never reconsider them as time and life continues to unfold about you]) --- but Jesus, stop making hollow claims. The constant crumbling is beyond unsightly, it's rather concerning. Sometimes we can't fake it until we make it.
lino Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 For maybe the 6th time now.. You really need to stop reading this and any other messageboards about relationships, infidelity, etc Think about how much time in your life you've wasted reading about this garbage. Yes, there are women like that and the number grows but reading about them or the sh*t they speak will achieve nothing for you. Enjoy the wife you have. Some men will never, ever be able to do that!
Author Woggle Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 I agree with those who say that no matter how hard I have tried to be otherwise in the past I have never mistreated women. Even during my player days I made sure they damn well knew I wasn't promising a relationship. On the other hand I see women just screwing over men with no remorse and almost getting glee out of seeing other women do it. My entire life I had my mother and other women try to shove down my throat the same kind of mentality that was expressed in that link and now that I am finally throwing off the self hatred I do speak up against it. It makes me see red when I see men going through the same thing I did and society pretty much thinks they deserve it. Sometimes I really do wish I had it in me to be heartless when it comes to women. Quite honestly the men who are tend to have much easier lives with less heartbreak. The ironic thing is that these manhaters go out of their way to kiss these men's butts but the men who would never mistreat a woman they chew up and spit out with no remorse.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 A dog bit me once when I was little. Sometimes I wish I had it in me to kick every dog I encounter in the head until its brains ooze out of its ears. The irony is, dogs seem to go out of their way to lick and snuzzle on people who don't want to be close to them and who abuse them.
Author Woggle Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 A dog bit me once when I was little. Sometimes I wish I had it in me to kick every dog I encounter in the head until its brains ooze out of its ears. The irony is, dogs seem to go out of their way to lick and snuzzle on people who don't want to be close to them and who abuse them. That is a bad comparison. I was just in a ticked off mood. The reason why I am so insecure is because I love my wife so much. The time between marriages was the most carefree and worry free time in my life. I expected no honesty or integrity from women so when one acted in less than honest ways I just moved on because it was what I expected. On the other hand I truly am in love and it scares the crap out of me. When I read some of the horror stories in the divorce forum and how some women like the one in the link really feel it makes me wonder if I am stupid for trusting a woman. The stuff sends chills up my spine.
serial muse Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 That is a bad comparison. I was just in a ticked off mood. The reason why I am so insecure is because I love my wife so much. The time between marriages was the most carefree and worry free time in my life. I expected no honesty or integrity from women so when one acted in less than honest ways I just moved on because it was what I expected. On the other hand I truly am in love and it scares the crap out of me. When I read some of the horror stories in the divorce forum and how some women like the one in the link really feel it makes me wonder if I am stupid for trusting a woman. The stuff sends chills up my spine. Yeah, OK. Well, I don't agree with the poster who posted that link you included. But what I see is that what she posted is much more like the angry, suspicious and mistrustful things you post than unlike them. You've posted many, many, many times about how men should just be players because women aren't trustworthy anyway. Er...isn't that exactly what she said (just reverse genders)? You are like two peas in a pod. She's no more the problem than you are. And I think you're both wrong. So to me, and I suspect to many on LS who've been reading your posts for years, what you're really afraid of is that women are like you.
xxoo Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 On the other hand I truly am in love and it scares the crap out of me. When I read some of the horror stories in the divorce forum and how some women like the one in the link really feel it makes me wonder if I am stupid for trusting a woman. The stuff sends chills up my spine. It takes guts to lay your heart bare, but there is no other way to truly love. That is true for all of us. I empathize. Loving my partner has been worth the risk so far. I don't know our future, but I wouldn't trade the years we've shared so far for anything. Enjoy the present, each and every day. Were you happier single?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Woggle, I really don't understand why that person's post would make you so depressed. The reality is that for centuries men did freely cheat. It was much more accepted and there was a whole guy code where men would keep it from these men's wives. Why aren't you pissed about that? Instead you are pissed about a woman that sees women catching up, but not quite equalling how often men still cheat, as something awful and depressing enough for you to justify your issues against women. That makes no sense.
Citizen Erased Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 That is a bad comparison. I was just in a ticked off mood. The reason why I am so insecure is because I love my wife so much. The time between marriages was the most carefree and worry free time in my life. I expected no honesty or integrity from women so when one acted in less than honest ways I just moved on because it was what I expected. On the other hand I truly am in love and it scares the crap out of me. When I read some of the horror stories in the divorce forum and how some women like the one in the link really feel it makes me wonder if I am stupid for trusting a woman. The stuff sends chills up my spine. Drama queen much? If you let yourself be happy and carefree, you're afraid you'd be like everyone else. Boring and drama free. My mother does this too, she picks fights with people if she's not fighting with anyone, it's what gets her up in the morning. Little drama with her coffee, no sugar. This crap fuels you, which is why you seek it out even though you know it's not true. I've actually seen you quote blatant trolls for truth, after being here for years. Like you're so naive and can't pick out when people are trolling to piss off some people. Please.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 The reason why I am so insecure is because I love my wife so much. Well, the fact is that the more you have, the more you have to lose. One of the best things about being single, in spite of the lack of sex, affection, support, and all that good stuff, is that you don't have to worry too much about being let down, because you're the only one who makes or breaks you. I somewhat understand your fears, but from my point of view and that of many single people on this forum, you have a lot to be thankful for. I'd like nothing more than a reliable, loving partner I could adore. When I was in love with my strongest match so far, sometimes when he hugged me, I cried tears of joy and sadness. I couldn't help that my happiness was tinged with a slight feeling of sadness that I might lose him and those wonderful feelings someday, for any number of reasons, including death. Have you ever read any books about Buddhism? One of the central ideas is that all we really have is this moment. The past is gone, and the future is unknowable. So why worry about them? Doing so only deprives you of the pleasure of enjoying today. The way to get into the moment is to be active, to engage fully with whatever you're dealing with right now, good or bad. Meditation is simply an exercise in being in the moment. Your wife could be loyal and loving till death do you part, and let's hope that's the case. But she could let you down in the future. There's not a whole lot you can do to control this. The best thing you can possibly do is continue to be loving, have fun with her, and enjoy what you have together. That's the best way to keep a good relationship good.
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