sparks05 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 we dated two years ago. had the best time together. he made me happy, and things between us just felt easy and right. neither of us brought up the "serious" talk which is how we fell apart. we assumed the worst from one another because both of us were too chicken **** to actually speak up. we had NC for a year, and i eventually contacted him to see how he'd been. he pursued me for 2 months after that to have dinner with him. we did, but i was traveling a lot at the time, so we agreed it wasn't the right time or place to start things up again. we kept in touch while i was gone and planned to see each other again once i was home. when i got home for good, i was really lost in my personal life - needed to find a new job, a new place to live, and just the shock of having to deal with settling down in one place again. i knew i needed to figure myself out before i could offer myself to someone else. i was honest with him about this, and he took it well... but eventually he confessed everything he felt for me. told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend, that i was the first girl in years he'd felt that way for. he told me he didn't want to give up on me, but didn't understand how long he had to wait. i felt really suffocated when he did this. i wanted him to be in my life so badly, but i knew i wasn't ready, and i didn't want to lead him on and thus hurt him even more. so i let him go... he would still contact me off and on. i'd respond, but keep my distance. i really did it because i didn't want to hurt him. deep down i knew he was the right one for me, i just still wasn't ready. we'd been NC for 3 months now. i still thought about him constantly, so i initiated contact recently. i asked if he'd meet me for a drink over the week and he said yes. we talked for a bit after that, i apologized for the way i handled the situation. he admitted again that he had wanted something serious, and so he told me i did the right thing by not talking to him. we were having a very mature, nonjudgmental conversation actually. then he randomly said he was dating someone. (they are not in a relationship) i was confused, but i decided that i should probably back off. i threw the ball in his court by telling him he knew where to find me if he still wanted that drink. that was the end of the conversation. part of me has assumed he's moved on. but then why was he open to discussing the situation again? and why would he have agreed to meet me for a drink? it sounds selfish but i am ready to commit now, and i never stopped knowing he was the one i wanted. i don't think i should contact him.. he'll either reach out if he still wants to see me, or he won't. just want to get some outside opinions on the situation cause hope i didn't already blow it... thanks
leoc1973 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 WTF... get off your ass and get your man back you will regret it forever if you really feel that he is the one. Especially if you end up with someone down the road that you like/love but he just isn't the one. You will feel empty inside like something is missing for a long long time maybe forever! I can't express how much time is of the essence here. Are you waiting for him to get all warm and fuzzy over this other girl. Call him right now! Why do you women always wait till its too late. This has happened to me with every relationship that I have ever had. I chase and chase and then meet someone new and here comes the one that I loved with all my heart. Always too late! What are you waiting for? Are you worried that if you put yourself out there he will reject you and then you know it really is over forever? Or are you really worried that he will accept you and you will actually have a chance at happiness? How long has this guy been waiting for you?
Author sparks05 Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 WTF... get off your ass and get your man back you will regret it forever if you really feel that he is the one. Especially if you end up with someone down the road that you like/love but he just isn't the one. You will feel empty inside like something is missing for a long long time maybe forever! I can't express how much time is of the essence here. Are you waiting for him to get all warm and fuzzy over this other girl. Call him right now! Why do you women always wait till its too late. This has happened to me with every relationship that I have ever had. I chase and chase and then meet someone new and here comes the one that I loved with all my heart. Always too late! What are you waiting for? Are you worried that if you put yourself out there he will reject you and then you know it really is over forever? Or are you really worried that he will accept you and you will actually have a chance at happiness? How long has this guy been waiting for you? that was my intention when i contacted him, but when he brought up that he was seeing someone else i thought i was supposed to respect that. he obviously dropped that in the conversation for a reason, whether it's because he's already warm and fuzzy about her or if he just wanted to take a swipe back at me, i don't know. but i didn't feel like it was my place to pry, and if he was looking to get a rise out of me i didn't want to play that game. i thought i put myself out there in the conversation by apologizing for the way i handled the situation and making it clear that i never stopped wanting him. it is his decision now if it's too late or not, isn't it? how am i supposed to know otherwise? what am i supposed to keep calling him until he sees me? he waited a long time, we were in touch for 9 months since that dinner.
leoc1973 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 OK as a man... he waited around for you for how long? a long time. you didn't want him back he made himself available you knew he loved you and wanted to be with you. This did not work for him. So he tells you he is seeing someone but makes sure he tells you that they are not in a relationship. Umm I think that is him telling you that he is available to you right now but soon will not be. If I were him and I believe I kinda am in the same situation if you read my last post you will see how a mans brain works. If I wanted you back I would tell you that I am not in a relationship which he did. He also tells you he wants something more serious (YOU!!!) He is thinking if he tells you all the I love you stuff that you women take advantage of you will put him back on the shelf for a few more months. If what you are saying in your story is pretty accurate. Trust me he wants you back but I do have a feeling you better make it soon. Are you willing to lose the love of your life because you do not wanna swallow your pride and tell him? This guy probably read all the get your ex back stuff like all of us do. He chose up till now to ignore it by letting you know how much he loves you. I think maybe he finally is sticking to it. He probably is seeing someone right now.. he probably likes her but loves you! If you wait any longer he might start to have real serious feelings about her. I am telling you sit down with him and tell him you wanna try things again. I am pretty sure about this one. Do me a favor tho if you do decide to tell him that you want him back let me know how it turns out cause I wanna say I told you so! Good luck!
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